The debt free journey of an easily distracted Moog

jtr2803

Sounds like you had a good weekend hun. I have to admit I am not really much cop at cooking, I leave that to him indoors - he is much better at it :A

I LOVE Ikea but I try not to visit it too often as I always end up buying stuff I like but don't need

LittleMoog

I also love IKEA much better trip this time. We went to the mk one just after we moved, but it's so rubbish in comparison to the wembley one. This time we found everything we needed, and even found a potential storage cupboard for our dining room, once we get our shed and move all the shed stuff out!

I also love to cook, I like to try and make something new or different at least once a week. This weeks soup was a random collection of veggies left over from the lamb shank casserole, plus some stock and some pearl barley bunged in the slow cooker for a few hours! Seems to have come out ok though, unlike some of my creations :rotfl:

We used to get an organic veg box delivered and in an excess of root veg one week I tried making beetroot and Apple soup (from a Hugh f-w receipe). It was vile, and it stained my stick blender pink!

LittleMoog

Bit of a quandry, could do with some advice/opinions. Weekend after next is my uncle's 70th party, which I've said we'll go to. Just found out that my Dad will be there with his new wife and I don't know what to do now. I haven't seen my Dad for 5 years, by my own choice, because of the way he behaved and treated me and brother after mum died. The thing is, this is my mum's side of the family, and I don't get many chances to see them. I feel physically sick and shaky at the thought of even being in the same room as him, but i'll have to overcome this if I want to go to my brother's wedding, as he still sees him (he was much younger and has been able to forgive him, although his future was far more damaged than mine ) it's so bad that even seeing his name on Facebook this morning made me feel sick with worry. The party is at another aunties house, and I don't want there to be a scene.
What shall I do? Any thoughts?

Woowoo

Hi Jules

A tricky situation, I understand that sick feeling when you know you'll have to see someone you want nothing to do with.

This would be a good opportunity to be in the same room as each other prior to your brothers wedding, which might make it easier to enjoy that day.

Is there a way of filtering a message back through that you'll be polite but don't wish him to approach you or anything?

LittleMoog

Hi Woowoo,
Thanks for the reply. I'd got myself in a complete state last night, no sleep for me

Part of me thinks I should just tough it out, cos I really do want to see the other half of my family, I haven't seen most of them since my wedding 4.5 years ago! There will be loads of people there, as my mum was one of 6 and almost all my cousins are now married with kids etc, so I might be able to avoid him for most of the day. Plus it would be better than seeing him for the first time at my brother's wedding.

Part of me wants to curl up into a ball and hide, but if I can't face this, brother's wedding is unlikely too. The rest of me thinks that since these are only his in-laws he ought to step back so i can see my family without all this stress, but that would be expecting him to actually consider my feelings which isn't really his strong suit (he got remarried the same weekend as the anniversary of my mum's death :mad:)

The last time I saw him was at my Nannie's 80th (his mum) and he interpreted my polite responses (so as not to make a scene) as friendliness, tried to get back in contact afterwards and then gave me a load of abuse for ignoring him. He's an alcoholic, and he really stews over supposed insults (especially if he's drinking) and then sends emails full of spiteful hurtful things - which I can't help reading! I'm my own worst enemy sometimes

Kepp

Oh Jules, I'm so sorry :grouphug:

I think you should go to both your Uncle's party and your brother's wedding.

It may be easier to do the wedding if you have seen him once already.

You shouldn't have to miss out on seeing family that you want to see because he will be there.

Be civil, stay dignified and rise above it, ignore any insults because you will know that you are the one in the right and that you behaved appropriately.

And most importantly don't lose sleep or stress out over this.

Hope it works out ok for you. xxx

Woowoo

How incredibly insensitive to remarry on that weekend, it begs belief to be honest.

My boyfriends dad was an alcoholic, so I understand a little that it makes for a very difficult relationship with them. He has since died as a result of his drinking.

LittleMoog

Thanks guys, I'm feeling a bit better now, though still a bit queasy. I will go to the party, and I will be civil but not friendly. Hopefully it will be clear to him that I'm not open to repairing our relationship.

It won't be easy though, one of the things I find really difficult is the way that he just lies about things - at my cousin's wedding (after I'd moved in with my aunt and uncle, but before I decided that I just couldn't see him any more) I heard him telling one of my aunts that he'd decided to stop drinking on what would have been my parent's silver wedding, despite the fact that I KNEW he'd been drinking only a month previously, and that he'd rung me and told me he was dying (one of his favourites) and given me a load of abuse about not speaking to him. I really had to bite my tongue not to scream at him and at them for not questioning what they were being told. My mum's family has a very old fashioned middle class background - unpleasant things are not mentioned or discussed, so they've never asked what happened when my brother and I had to go and live with my dad's brother and sister (separately) and they continue to include him in family events etc. My aunt and uncle that I lived with feel the same way as me, but they know the whole story.

I'm also quite nervous about meeting his new wife. My aunt's (the one I lived with, who was my mum's best friend at school and is married to my dad's brother) description of her was "wholly inferior to your mum, I can't believe that's the kind of person he wants to share his life with now" (not very impartial :rotfl:) All I know about her is that her previous husband was an alcoholic as well, and she might be, as I think they met at AA. She also sounds a bit chavvy tbh.

LittleMoog

ssssh.......! I've changed my forum username, realised that my diary was very easy to find, and I was being rather frank about relatives etc :eek:
Hopefully once the caches on Google clear it won't be so findable!

Anyway, made cakes for our team event (tomorrow! :eek:) last night, rocky road and gingerbread, all waiting to be cut up tonight. Woken up with a very sore throat and keep sneezing, so I'm really hoping I won't come down with a cold overnight. We've put so much work into the event, I'd hate to miss it, or not be at my best. Lots of fluids and not much talking for me today, try and keep my voice :rotfl:
Back really bothering me again, and the pills the GP gave me run out at the weekend, so will make an appointment to go back next week and get a referral to see someone about it. Does mean paying the £75 excess on my Bupa though

Kepp

LittleMoog wrote: »

Hi Jody,
Meant to add yesterday, that I can send you the training program that our beginners group used if you like. It starts out quite slowly and builds up. You wouldn't believe how hard I found it to run even 2 minutes at the start, so it really does work! I've been running twice a week or so (I aim for three times, but rarely manage it!) since January and I've seen a steady improvement. Have to admit that i'm still not really enjoying it, my carshare's a marathon runner and she keeps going on about how I'll suddenly start loving it. no sign so far!

Sorry, I know this is from ages ago - I'm trying to catch up with your diary at the mo!

Would you mind sending me this as I've fallen behind with the gym and used to enjoy running more as you get out and about, but am soooo unfit would need to get back into it gently!