I Don't Have Kids Why Pay For Someone Else's?

tinkerbell28

Zaine_UK wrote: »

Poor blokes.

So you think it's right that i move in pay her mortgage and all her bills. She can dump me at anytime and i get nothing? Or don't have a safety net?

If you are for real, I wouldn't worry about it lasting too long, your obvious resentment for her children will seep through and she'll have you out within the week.

dreamywings1

Why not ask her just to rent you a room and get issued with a rent book, pay 1 months rent deposit which will be refundable when you left and pay a month in advance at least then she would know where she stands and if it didnt work out you would get your deposit back (as you would if you rented a place on your own)
Dont forget she will be losing her sole adult discount for council tax so by you paying her rent that would need to be taken into consideration along with higher gas/electric/water/food etc

Zaine_UK

You lot have me wrong. I do care for her kids. She's always told me her kids come first and i understand that, so all i'm trying to do is protect myself too. Her kids haven't always made it easy for us and i do wory slightly they might be future conflict, but i do love her. I'm no money grabber either.

tinkerbell28

Zaine_UK wrote: »

You lot have me wrong. I do care for her kids. She's always told me her kids come first and i understand that, so all i'm trying to do is protect myself too. Her kids haven't always made it easy for us and i do wory slightly they might be future conflict, but i do love her. I'm no money grabber either.

I can guarantee you, you think they have caused issues now, you will not last a month living with them.

The whole resentment of having to pay for someone elses kids and trying to protect yourself over their future home stability, she'll boot you out.

One thing you should remember is children always come first, if you don't you won't last 5 mins.

blue_monkey_2

Then you have a very funny way of showing it. Maybe you should give her £135 'rent' each week as well as some electric and gas money as well as the premium she will lose on Council tax Benefit then she'll have the same amount of money and does not lose out.

As for you claiming something bac 'if you split up'k - that just shows how caring you are IMO!!

dmg24

Zaine_UK wrote: »

You lot have me wrong. I do care for her kids. She's always told me her kids come first and i understand that, so all i'm trying to do is protect myself too. Her kids haven't always made it easy for us and i do wory slightly they might be future conflict, but i do love her. I'm no money grabber either.

Protect yourself from what exactly?

AnxiousMum

dmg24 wrote: »

You could dump her at any time also. If you had a mortgage with her your money would be tied up in her property, and you would still have an obligation to pay towards the mortgage.

And.......the kids would have the right to remain in the house until they reached age of majority - guess that would really annoy the OP!

OP - be glad you don't live in some other countries - even a step dad in Canada, if been a step dad to kids for one year or more, can be gone after for child support! yes! My OH took myself and my children on fully aware of that - knowing that if we had children together, which we did, and I stopped working while they were young, which I did......that should we split.....which we didn't......I could have gone after him for child support for my first two as well. Now - the difference between him and you - he knowingly took on full responsibility of a single mum and two children, knowing all the pitfalls, but also knowing the absolute joy of having a family around him, and the prospect to make that family grow. He has taken great pride over the last 15 years of being there NO MATTER WHAT for myself and my two children, and when things have been tight - making sure that my kids got what they needed - often at his expense.

We now have three further children together, and he's been a fantastic step dad and is a fantastic dad. I don't think that the 'cost' of my children has entered his mind one bit over the years.

I can almost guarantee you - that if you were to print this thread off and show it to your girlfriend, you will be set free and be found sitting down the pub later tonight........single. Good job you have decided not to have children (does she know that????) as I don't think you've got the b*lls to be able to do so.

Zaine_UK

blue_monkey wrote: »

Then you have a very funny way of showing it. Maybe you should give her £135 'rent' each week as well as some electric and gas money as well as the premium she will lose on Council tax Benefit then she'll have the same amount of money and does not lose out.

As for you claiming something bac 'if you split up'k - that just shows how caring you are IMO!!

You see thats the problem with society today. It always sides with the women. Ok, look at it this way...

I give her £100 a week and she loses £35 a week because money isn't everything as she has someone they who loves her and will help her. I bet most of you are horrified at the idea. Because you feel it should always be the man who pays through the nose. If you didn't want equal rights you shouldn't have burnt your bras.

AnxiousMum

dreamywings1 wrote: »

Why not ask her just to rent you a room and get issued with a rent book, pay 1 months rent deposit which will be refundable when you left and pay a month in advance at least then she would know where she stands and if it didnt work out you would get your deposit back (as you would if you rented a place on your own)
Dont forget she will be losing her sole adult discount for council tax so by you paying her rent that would need to be taken into consideration along with higher gas/electric/water/food etc

Actually, his girlfriend could come out of this kind of an arrangement rather well - paying all that she would 'lose' by becoming a part of a couple PLUS:

Wages for cooking, cleaning, answering his phone calls, being nice to his family, washing his clothes. Then of course there'd be the nightly duties which she could charge quite nicely too!

Hey - all that is part of a relationship, and things that couples do together and for each other. They also support each other financially. Like it or lump it I guess!

briona

Zaine_UK wrote: »

Poor blokes.

So you think it's right that i move in pay her mortgage and all her bills. She can dump me at anytime and i get nothing? Or don't have a safety net?

God, you sound like a right catch! (Do you want a girlfriend and family or a half share in someone else's house?!) Why should you get anything? On your own admission it's HER house. She has to keep a roof over her children's heads, which is something you certainly don't seem concerned about!

FYI, being on the mortgage would NOT entitle you to a half share of her house, and in any case, you'd be hard pushed to find a court that would make a woman and her children homeless.

Though it disgusts me to offer you any assistance, my advice would be to familiarise yourself with your rights by way of the following link: http://www.advicenow.org.uk/living-together/moving-in/

Briona