Elderly dad may be being conned

danlojo

Crikey, this is a situation and a half.

I would try to go with him or even have him followed. I know that's not the best advice but I would want this completely checked out if it was a family member of mine.

A bit different but a family member of mine has learning difficulties and this situation arose where she was giving money to someone who told her nice things and that she was a 'superstar' for helping them out. Fortunately she told her carer what a 'superstar' she was and it was stopped immediately. The police were informed and they warned him off so to speak and he was never in touch again.

Are you aware if he has a will? I know that he may not have lots but this is another area I would be checking.

I know you are trying to walk on egg shells with this but you must be very concerned, I would be!

Ask him why he is not allowed to her house/see her family (if she has one here).

Why would he want to help a complete stranger out and not his family?

Good luck and I feel for you so much over this.

RAS

This might be relevant http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1279377/Serial-conman-dubbed-Shrek-jailed-swindling-100-000-lonely-women.html

C_Mababejive

Ma_Boswell wrote: »

Thats very much the situation - in fact thats what happened a few years ago which is why i had tried to ignore it once we made up again. Trouble is she shied off from meeting my son when we tried that ( and Dad was really keen for them to meet) so I don't know if it would work - still worth a try. Thanks for the advice

Ma x

Maybe you should try to meet her...? she cant keep shying off from it can she otherwise SHE will start to look iffy in your dads eyes. Obviously you would have to feign your desire to make her acquaintance,your desire to also "help" her etc. You also need to upskill on covert surveillance and investigation techniques.

Ma_Boswell

Working on the name and address thing - am taking him for an appointment next week so wll ask him. Power of attorney wouldn't work - he's not in any way "failing" - just a bit daft!Will isn't really an issue - his pensions will go with him and there is no property. He is aware that its odd that he can't visit her ( my eldest is convinced that she's actually married and thats why he can't visit) but thinks its a culture thing. At least it means he only meets her in public so he's less at risk in that way. And as for the helping a complete stranger and not his family - he sees her as helpless and in need while , although we get on, I am still the rebel who rejected my religion, married the wrong man and didn't bring my children up the way he would have liked me to ( they are all good lads, you understand - but in his eyes tattoos, world travelling and a career in design are not how "proper" people live) - I've learned to live with that cos i understand the world was different when he was growing up - still hurts of course but I'm not going to let him be taken advantage of just because he disapproves of my choices.

Everyones sympathy is really appreciated - I'm so glad i posted. Thank you all

Ma x

Ma_Boswell

Quick update before I go offline - have spoken to Action on elder Abuse - they are marvellous, I can highly recommend them, many thanks SavvySue for the link. They have given me some numbers and avenues to explore and told me to contact them anytime for support. Will let you all know what happens.

Ma x

lilac_lady

I bet you feel relieved now that you've taken the step of getting advice from an association that will be familiar with similar situations.

If all else fails I would seriously think about hiring a private detective to suss out whether this woman is genuinely a friend of your father or, as seems more likely, a conniving con woman who will not leave him alone until she has exhausted him financially.

SallyUK

Morning Ma

Just wondering if there's any updates yet?

Sal
x

[Deleted User]

Where are you upto now?

gingerwhinger

Ma_Boswell wrote: »

Fortunately he is in a Housing Association property so that can't happen but its good to know that I'm not just being paranoid. Unfortunately he just seems to go down on the spur of the moment so it would be hard to follow him - I may have to screw up my courage and try to go with him, trouble is he knows I'm not happy about her. Even his bank apparently asked him how his family felt about him paying her rent (he's so honest that he told them why he wanted the overdraft extended- wish they had refused it)

Have sent a PM

Ma_Boswell

Hi everyone

Well i now know where she comes from, so I can make use of that info and I'm going to visit him on monday and find out the address etc. I've talked to him again, only to find to my horror that he also recently gave £600 to a person from his religious group who is also apparently "studying" over here and isn't allowed to work....i thought you had to prove you could support yourself before you came to study? Am thinking of speaking to the vicar-equivalent at his group( they are a well-established and respectable religion) and pointing out to him that its his job to keep an eye on things like that. I have a feeling that Dad is his own worst enemy and I believe that it may be an early sign of dementia though he seems otherwise perfectly ok.

Will keep plodding on

Ma x