HaHa my parents are having me over!

Leanna86

Running_Horse wrote: »

While your parents can be expected to support you, you are an adult and very quickly need to start acting like one.

I'm sorry if you don't like what you are reading, but you put your whole life out in public hoping for sympathy for yourself, and hoping for condemnation of your parents. They have raised you, and now deserve some kind of life for themselves. Please stop attacking them because of your tragic loss.

What you haven't picked up on is the fact that I haven't refused nor has my partner refused to pay the rent, it isn't the amount it is the fact she won't tell me this is how much it costs so split 4 ways heres the costs. If I knew how much it was and I was paying less then I would offer more to even things out.

May I also add that neither of us are young, naive and as you put it a 'toerag' I am 24 and my partner is 25, so the fact that we decided to have a baby wasn't a contraception fault! We were living seperately at our own parents houses when I started having problems and my parents asked him to move in to help me, this was only supposed to be temporary until I had the baby then we were moving out, irrelevant of the fact my daughter passed away we were then asked not to move out.

Yes maybe I am being ungrateful but all I asked for was a break down of costs...that to me isn't being ungrateful its just being cautious with my outgoings.

I am not asking anyone for sympathy, but maybe this subject is just bringing out the nastiness in some people, I just wanted a few peoples version on whether I should stay save and leave, stay to help my parents, or just go now save hassle.

Seems I have my answer now, best to go and we will have our seperate lives and have a better relationship for it.

I will remove this post because I have my answer. Thanks everyone for your takes on this

thewinkshow

there is no right answer here, some will take the parents can charge what they want view and call you unappreciated, others will say 400 plus food is excessive. it comes down to if you think its worth paying that much for what your getting.

move out - 400 plus food is simply not worth being at home at your age.
if you can afford this amount plus food, then i am sure you can rent somewhere for a bit more per month.

if your rent was still 35 then yes stay home and save, but your unlikely to be able to save and pay 400 plus food a month, so for similar money get your own privacy, independence and no one telling you to clean dishes like a 5 year old.

the cost is simply not worth it for 1 bedroom.

depending on where you are in the country you can rent for 300-350 per month add bills and you will only be a hundred or two worse off a month.no brainier.

Jowo_2

Leanna86 wrote: »

. I have always paid my own way since I was 16 so no queries with food, petrol, toiletries etc

Your signature indicates you have debts of around 8k so presumably budgeting is not your strong point.

Leanna86

Jowo wrote: »

Your signature indicates you have debts of around 8k so presumably budgeting is not your strong point.

It was a loan rather than debt, I pay it off each month and have never missed a payment I also have savings so obviously I am able to budget...

Oldernotwiser

MrsE wrote: »

I "think" she is saying her parents want £400 pm for a double room & she could get it for £225-350 on the open market.

All prices are without food it seems, but with other bills.

Right, I thought she meant 225-350 per week.

Oldernotwiser

thewinkshow wrote: »

depending on where you are in the country you can rent for 300-350 per month add bills and you will only be a hundred or two worse off a month.no brainier.

Except that the OP's parents have helped her when she needed it and now they need her help. Does it seem right to you to refuse to help your parents?

shellsuit

Running_Horse wrote: »

I did read it, but was being compassionate in not mentioning it. But as you suddenly threw it in the mix to get sympathy against your parents this is what I really think.

If some toerag got my daughter pregnant, he wouldn't be moving in until he proved he could support the child. If the child was sadly lost, the little toerag would not be allowed to stay, especially paying the same low rent as my own child. He would be expected to pay full market rent like any adult.

You sound like a very selfish young girl. All I'm hearing in your posts is self pity, and trying to get public sympathy like a guest on Jeremy Kyle. You are in this situation because your contraception failed. While your parents can be expected to support you, you are an adult and very quickly need to start acting like one.

I'm sorry if you don't like what you are reading, but you put your whole life out in public hoping for sympathy for yourself, and hoping for condemnation of your parents. They have raised you, and now deserve some kind of life for themselves. Please stop attacking them because of your tragic loss.

Shocking post.

*shakes head*

Ulfar

Leanna86 wrote: »

If I was given a quick, rough break down like that and then I wouldn't be complaining but she just point blank refuses to break it down for us. I have always paid my own way since I was 16 so no queries with food, petrol, toiletries etc

I am going to have to support your parents in this, their financial affairs are their business.

When I was working and living at home my rent was set at 1/3 of my net income. It isn't up to you how much they charge rent it is up to them.

You are an adult now it is no longer your parents responsibility to provide for you and your boyfriend. If the situation isn't working out then you need to move out. It will however be more expensive for you to rent.

SuzyWuzy_2

I thought the same too Shell , it actually annoyed me that people can be so judgemental and rude.

OP - I'm sorry about your loss, what a terrible thing to happen.

I dont think the title of your thread helped matters here but I do understand what you're saying. I think you're right in saying that its better to move on , I think the times right. Good luck in moving in together in your own home , I'm sure you'll be very happy.

Paulgonnabedebtfree

Leanna86 wrote: »

Thats one of the big problems I have said we will move out but my mum has asked me not to move until we get a mortgage and not to move out to rent, my dad has also mentioned that the costs are very high than they anticipated when they bought the house so I kind of feel obliged to stay to help them out...

I am not saying we cannot afford to pay the £400 a month, what I am moaning (BIG KID ) is the fact they have only said to me that they will need to increase my rent to cover some of what my brother was paying as they wont be getting his rent as he left....but seems I am now just paying his rent all because he left!

There's your solution then. You're paying his rent so take over his room too (tongue-in-cheek).