Anyone older & wiser able to help lost 21 year old

mumslave

Just a wee note, before you take anything like st johns wort, check to make sure its okay to take with your medication for the acne, and read up on the side effects, it has quite a few. Not to put you off, just to be aware x

elvis86

Can I get your ex's number? He sounds like a catch!:D

Joking aside, you sound like you have a lot going for you. RE your ex, you should just look back on it as a positive experience, you must be a good catch yourself if he was so great and went for you.;) Just accept that the timing was maybe wrong.

I'm only 22 but I empathise with you on a few things. Firstly, I'm gay too (though by the sounds of it, I embrace it a fair bit more than you do...at the moment!). I too have never known what I wanted to do in life, and have ended up in a pretty dull (but decently paid and 9 - 5) job as a result. My tactic has been to make sure the not-particularly-rewarding job funds as fun a life as is possible at the weekends (hence my conversion to MSE!).:D:D:D

I used to live in the middle of nowhere, near-ish to a small city with a couple of gay bars, but still...dead. So, I moved. Moved to Manchester, and have never regretted it. Its not just about the gay scene, but there's loads to do, bars, shops, theatres etc, and I've met some great friends.

Sounds like you're due a change of some sort anyway Mr, hope you figure out what it is that you want/need.xxx

Dave101t

im 27 and pondered similar things in the past. id say go with your gut, do what you think is right, not what others tell you you SHOULD do.
however there are pitfalls, second guessing yourself and doubt are the main ones. if you have doubts, then dont do it, but if it excites you and you have no ties worth keeping, then do it.
this may not be much help but as im a little older and not-so wiser i thought id butt-in!

Material_Girl_2

Hi,
From reading your post it seems that you are not over your breakup yet, it needs time to get over someone. That coupled with boredom in your job and feeling a bit lost might add to your depression. I would also say please speak to your GP again and see what kine of help there is available for you including perhaps counselling.

Perhaps instead of taking redundancy could you perhaps speak to work and take some time out perhaps a combination of paid/unpaid time just to clear you head and think about where you would like your life to go. It may be that you then decide on a new career, moving to a new area or taking up a new hobby, training professional advancement, volunteering etc.

Also, I'd recommend that perhaps you take up some kind of excercise if you're not already doing anything. That could be the gym, martial arts, dancing, whatever you fancy really. Excercise will make you feel better physically and mentally.

Just think carefully about your options, but really you're so young, the world is your Oyster!

Souk08

You sound so much better already! Don't for God's sake go worrying about who will look after you when you're old, none of us know the answer to that one. All you need to worry about is that when you're an old man sat in your chair you can look back on your life and think 'god what a good one I had' and only you can make that happen. XXX

busiscoming2

mrme wrote: »

Well I'm packing to go home for the weekend now, going to have a chat with the parents tonight and my sister also. We have a weekend walk in the lakes planned for next weekend which I am determined to go on even though to be honest I don't feel like doing much right now. I will go for the counseling too as typing away on a forum has helped so much.

I have emailed the rowing club to see if they take on members with no experience, will have to wait and see what they say. I work for a huuuge travel company so think I might make use of my generous discount and get a holiday booked somewhere exotic, I'm thinking Cuba this time!!

Made some decisions, I am not going to attend the police specials interview in May. I have emailed to see if, instead, I can attend at a later date as it really is something I would love to do but it is not the right time. As for traveling, well I think I'm going to wait and see about that one. I could maybe apply for time off from work, I think you can take up to a years leave so I wouldn't come back jobless. As much as I want to get out of my routine I have to be sensible. Hoping to be at my desk Monday morning, I don't think loads of time off is going to help me... so to everyone at work I had a migraine.
.

Well done for being pro-active, I am sure some time with your family will do you good, and go for the walk, I'm sure you will enjoy it!

You sound an incredible person for one so young, and I hope you get things 'sorted'.

whatgoesaround_2

:grouphug:

Just wanted to add, I went on a conservation project in Tanzania for 3 months in a gap year and it was the best experience in my life. The group was called frontier, based in london but im sure there are many others around.
You go in a group, meeting them prior to going out and it is fantastic.
Just wanted to let you know there are options for seeing the world without doing it alone.

TurnaroundSue

Hi Mrme - big hugs:grouphug:

I am a mum of 2 who will be 45 very soon. It is only when you get older that you look back and think 'where did that time go'. When I was younger I used to think that 25 was old, but now I am 45 and realise that the last 20 years have just flown it has made me wish I had done things differently. I love my OH and kids, but how I wished I had travelled when I was your age and didn't settle down with the domesticity of life. Time really does fly by.

I have St Johns Wort in the cupboard and have used it on a number of occasions and find it really does help when I feel that life gets on top of me - but would check with your gp before taking it (as recommended on the pot).

Maybe travelling abroad and getting lots of vitamin C (I think that's the right one!!!:D) on your face will improve your skin no end, and with the lack of stress of not working for a while will also help your skin.

Grab life with both hands and run with it.

Good luck and keep posting

Pixiechic

Hey Mrme,

Sounds like you have had loads going on in your life recently so no wonder you are feeling 'out of sorts'. Having a week off work I hope has helped take the pressure off a bit and that speaking to your family helps. I think that if you can communicate well with your family then you should. You might get a lot more help and support which you could probably do with right now.

zzzLazyDaisy

Can I just say that going travelling doesn't have to be expensive, or lonely.

When you are ready and in the right frame of mind to take some time out, do have a look at the WOOF site. It is for volunteers to work on organic farms all over the world. Some people take a year off and go from one farm to the next. Bed and food is provided free, and in exchange you get to work on the land, learn new ways of doing things, and meet new people from all over the world. The bigger farms often have several volunteers so you get to make friends with people of your own age.

I have friends who have an organic farm and I love visiting when the volunteers are there as they are usually such independent, positive, fun people to be around.

Just a thought

And good luck in whatever you decide to do.

Daisy