Neighbours hate children!

dizziblonde

Have you asked your neighbours on the other side if they find your noise a problem - just to get an impartial view on it? I say this because sometimes children when they play have that absolutely wonderful ear-splitting shriek in their repertoire (doesn't bother me - after years of playground duty I'm pretty much immune... or going deaf) that, although they're having a whale of a time and it's just out sheer joy, really can go right through you.

What I will say (even though yes, this woman does sound barking mad) is that sometimes you have to bear in mind that you don't know the reasons behind people's apparent dislike of children. You don't know if there's something in their past, or their present making them react that way - anyone who's read a lot of the stuff I've posted will know that I've tried desperately to avoid babies in particular for a long time - and while it might have been dismissed as me being some bitter child-hating witch, it actually was nothing of the sort and was a coping strategy for me to cushion myself against the pain that my own personal issues were causing me. I could cope well enough to function day-to-day, indeed to work with kids - but the sound of kids playing outside in the garden next to mine (not a problem thankfully - we've got a teenager with a Black Sabbath album - thankfully I like rock music and metal!) would have caused me quite a lot of emotional pain and you'd probably have seen me stood out there with gritted teeth - and possibly thought I was some child hating loon - I wasn't, and I wouldn't have begrudged them their fun - but I would have been thinking some pretty dark, bleak thoughts to myself and possibly come across somewhat oddly. It's the same when there's someone at work who smiles and then leaves the room or seems in a daze when scan pictures, kid pictures or babies come in - it could just be that they're off to hide in the loos for a quick cry - nothing against you or yours, even though to you it might look like a snub... infertility can be incredibly painful

I don't think it's the case in this woman's case, but it's worth putting out there into the discussion in case other people are in a similar situation.

rochene

children when they play have that absolutely wonderful ear-splitting shriek in their repertoire (doesn't bother me - after years of playground duty I'm pretty much immune... or going deaf) that, although they're having a whale of a time and it's just out sheer joy, really can go right through you.

I have to agree to above what sounds like just our children having fun to us can be really nerve racking to a outsider.

I'm sure OPs family are lovely but reading through she does state the prev owners were elderly so perhaps a family moving in next door would have suddenly been a lot noisier .

The suggestions of making a lot of noise in return,i really dont think would help, it sounds to me this is already happening the nieghbour is banging and hammering on walls as a tit for tat she may be thinking she is getting her own back for the noise coming from garden.There is times when i feel like getting my own back on my nieghbour but don't because it just ends up getting silly.

My nieghbour has no idea how loud her children are to her they are just playing .

I two am only trying to put anouther point of view across not getting at OP, theres always two sides and me being on the end of a family with children know it can be stressfull .I am do not dislike them and i'm not a misery but i expect my nieghbour would discribe me as a right old so snd so.Both partys are intitaled to live in their own homes in piece,so a difficult one to resolve.

DKLS

dizziblonde wrote: »

Have you asked your neighbours on the other side if they find your noise a problem - just to get an impartial view on it? I say this because sometimes children when they play have that absolutely wonderful ear-splitting shriek in their repertoire (doesn't bother me - after years of playground duty I'm pretty much immune... or going deaf) that, although they're having a whale of a time and it's just out sheer joy, really can go right through you.

Couldnt agree more, parents seem totally immune to the volume of racket their children can make. And comment as seem in this thread, "theya re only playing" as if that mitigates the noise issue, I am considerate and dont blast my tunes or do diy after a set time, but it is deemed totally acceptable that my neighbours toddler can scream night and day and I have to tolerate it, or listen to the thing run up and down the garden screaming like a demented banshee.

If this house doesn't sell quickly, I will fit additional sound insulation in the house and quadruple double glazing from Finland, shame I cant find any sound barriers for the garden.

I suppose my ideal situation would be a detached house in a gated community with children banned, unless they were mute and severely physically disabled. Where I could live happily with all the other "miseries".

Gingham_Ribbon

She needs dealing with by the police in my opinion. This is way beyond a grumpy woman being intolerant of low level normal family noise. She's obviously not going to stop unless she is stopped and I wouldn't recommend confronting her.

Next time she starts, nip inside, call the police and then go back to what you're doing so she doesn't realise until they turn up.

mrsr

rochene wrote: »

children when they play have that absolutely wonderful ear-splitting shriek in their repertoire (doesn't bother me - after years of playground duty I'm pretty much immune... or going deaf) that, although they're having a whale of a time and it's just out sheer joy, really can go right through you.

I have to agree to above what sounds like just our children having fun to us can be really nerve racking to a outsider.

I'm sure OPs family are lovely but reading through she does state the prev owners were elderly so perhaps a family moving in next door would have suddenly been a lot noisier .

The suggestions of making a lot of noise in return,i really dont think would help, it sounds to me this is already happening the nieghbour is banging and hammering on walls as a tit for tat she may be thinking she is getting her own back for the noise coming from garden.There is times when i feel like getting my own back on my nieghbour but don't because it just ends up getting silly.

My nieghbour has no idea how loud her children are to her they are just playing .

I two am only trying to put anouther point of view across not getting at OP, theres always two sides and me being on the end of a family with children know it can be stressfull .I am do not dislike them and i'm not a misery but i expect my nieghbour would discribe me as a right old so snd so.Both partys are intitaled to live in their own homes in piece,so a difficult one to resolve.

This banging on walls could well be tit for tat if the nieghbour has got stressed she proberly can't stand any noise at all ,she proberly thinks she will distube the OP when shes trying to have a peaceful evening out of revenge.As you say if she had older people next door before then a family could be noisey no matter how nice they are.

As I said earlier noise is a funny thing it can cause a lot of stress ,my nieghbours are nice people but they cant hear how much noise there children make.

My nieghbour the otherside of me moans my dogs bark when i let them out ,i timed it they bark for 5 seconds to me it's not a prob i surpose because it's my noise ,I now let one out then wait a few seconds and let the other out so there's no barking.
My point is noise affects us in differant ways.

rochene

Gingham_Ribbon wrote: »

She needs dealing with by the police in my opinion. This is way beyond a grumpy woman being intolerant of low level normal family noise. She's obviously not going to stop unless she is stopped and I wouldn't recommend confronting her.

Next time she starts, nip inside, call the police and then go back to what you're doing so she doesn't realise until they turn up.

My nieghbour would prob say her noise is low level

mrcow

Sorry Hollykate, did you say that you'd already called environmental health? If not, put a call in. Banging on walls like that is out of order. You should get a complaint in with them asap.

minimoneysaver

OP, I haven't had time to read through the whole thread, I would recommend you and your OH going round to see the delightful old couple next door. Don't be defensive, but explain that you have noticed that she is banging on the wall and you would rather that she didn't bang nails into the wall at such an hour as the children are in bed and explain how awful it would be if the children woke and cried for hours on end. I would also explain that children have a right to play... as children always have done. If it carried on you could go out to the garden with your children and video recorded her doing the bullying things that she is doing? Once she realises that you are serious about taking it further, it may well stop. She probably has nothing better to do. If you go to her ready for an argument, that is what you will likely get, which won't help anyone. Good luck x

chris_n_tj

While I agree kids do scream and make noise the OP `s kids are a 6yr old and a baby, I wouldnt say there would be that much noise would you. The elder one will be in school most of the week and a baby although might cry some it wont cry 24/7 will it.
The OP is being bullied there are no other words for it.
Yes some of us have said in a lighthearted way to stick two fingers up and stuff them, but speaking for myself here it was said to try and make OP laugh a bit, if you read all the thread you can see she(OP) is at the end of her tether and so down in the dumps. This seems to have been going on since day one of them moving in, so it isnt surprising the OP has had enough.
The OP`s old bat (next door) needs a good telling off, bullies need bringing down a peg or two.
Chris n TJ

S1976

Hi,

Neighbours from hell have their own web-site which may contain a little more information for you to look at and maybe give you some idea's - I hope it gets sorted very soon for you. Good luck.

http://www.nfh.org.uk/