Neighbours hate children!

milliebear00001

hollykate wrote: »

Hi, sorry for the long rant
we've moved to a new area nearly 1 1/2 years ago when i was 6 months pregnant and had a 6 year old. We are a nice family! (No arguing, no pets, no partying, shouting etc) But our new neighbours are in their 60's and are making my life a misery. They have told everyone how they hate and can't stand children. My oldest goes out into the garden sometimes, when she does the neighbour comes out slams and i mean slams the back door and is heard ranting inside. She loudly makes comments like - i'm not going outside - there are out there with that screaming kid, then slams door etc. Every time i go outside to hang washing, garden etc she just stands there staring at me in the window. My children are quite well behaved my oldest gets a bit excited sometimes but is not naughty or anything. I feel like i am living on eggshells - i won't let the children play in the garden and am feeling very depressed and low all the time. Hubby says take no notice - but i do! I love my house we have put a lot of time , effort and money into making it nice - but i am thinking of moving. Neighbours on the other side are really lovely - but i am sick to the back teeth of this.:(

Your neighbour is a nutcase! Please don't punish your children for her nuttiness by not allowing them the freedom of their own garden! Ignore her and don't collude with her by acknowledging her in any way.

LittleBit_2

Sorry I don't really have any advice, but it must be a nightmare for you. I know everyone keeps saying to ignore her, but I would find it so difficult to do if I was in your shoes, as I would be so angry about it all.
I think if it was me I would have to get the council involved as otherwise I would lose the plot.
You sound like you've done really well to cope with it as long as you have.

Hope you manage to get something sorted soon

hollykate

:mad::mad::mad:They have just been banging loudly on the adjoining wall for 10mins - it is 10pm. There has been no noise from my house - children have been in bed since 6-6.30, OH is in work and i am watching telly.This is ridiculous - am definately going around tomorrow.

I CAN STAND ANYMORE!:(

chris_n_tj

Phone your local noise team up ASAP There should be a number for the out of hours team in your local phone book. Failing that bang on the wall or turn your hifi on .xxx

How about you hold a MSE party I am sure we could muster up quite a gathering

coolcait

I don't understand the advice to the OP to 'make more noise'.

Surely that undermines her position if she ever wanted, or needed, to take things further?

As things stand, there seems to be complete agreement that the neighbour has no genuine reason to complain about 'noise'. The OP has genuine reason to complain about bullying and/or harassment.

If the OP takes some of the advice given here, and deliberately ups the noise level, then she has gifted her neighbour the evidence to support a complaint about noise.

OP, your situation sounds intolerable. But - tempting though it can be when you're stressed and under pressure - please dont go down the 'Noise?! I'll show you noise...!' route.

Is there any chance that you could persuade your other neighbours to join you in challenging this woman about her behaviour? Starting with the approach that her ranting and screaming is unacceptable, and is causing distress to her neighbours. This would be doubly true if her rants include foul language.

Morgan_Ree

My god OP!! What a crap situation!!

If going round and speaking to her doesn't solve thr problem it's time to come down to her level

Every time she glares at you through the window, smile sweetly, flip her the finger and walk away :cool:

aliasojo

hollykate wrote: »

:mad::mad::mad:They have just been banging loudly on the adjoining wall for 10mins - it is 10pm. There has been no noise from my house - children have been in bed since 6-6.30, OH is in work and i am watching telly.This is ridiculous - am definately going around tomorrow.

I CAN STAND ANYMORE!:(

She's systematically bullying you, For whatever reason, you have become her target and she's now on a path that she will not detract from unless you make her.

You need to explode once and for all so that she gets the message you're not going to be her victim anymore.

Easier said than done if you're a quiet type but the only way to stop a bully is to stop being their victim.

shellsuit

Report her to the Police for harrassment!

That's what I'd do, it's all very well saying give her a taste of her own medicine, but that's not a clever thing to do in front of kids. And don't mouth off back to her, because before you know it, she will report you ~ don't give her that chance.

Take the baby and the kids out in the garden at every chance you have.

Record her rantings and make notes of the times, and whether she's shouting, banging, screaming etc..

Do that for a week and then report the old cow.

You're gonna explode if you don't do something about it ~ she has NO right to put the fear of Christ up you for making normal everyday sounds.

And if she doesn't like kids, that's her problem, not yours!

I hope you get it all sorted, I really do xxx

gonzo127

i agree with the above post, although i have skipped a large part of this thread i feel you need to get the police involved as dropping to her level is probably exactly what she wants you to do so she can get the police on you!

if you fight fire with fire the only thing that will happen is you will get burnt

start getting your evidence, recordings (video and audio if nessesary), note book with times dates and general details of whats happening, that sort of thing so when you speak to the police you have got a good amount of detail about whats happening, you can also print of this thread to show it has been an on going thing for a while before you started collecting evidence

also speak to your other neighbours to see if they would be willing to back you up on the fact you are not a problem, and could you talk to the neighbours the other side of her to find out if they have had problems with her or if they have heard her noise etc

melancholly

i think it's really important to speak to the mad woman's neighbours on the other side to see what they say. if this woman finds your noise to be a big problem, then she should report you to the council or, ideally, approach you like an adult about it. she has chosen to act like a toddler having a tantrum, except using more adult language. get a record of times of her noise and a record of your activity, then report her. a polite word isn't going to work but you need to take some action.

in terms of having to mention any official report you make when selling the house, i'm sure i listened to a radio phone last year in where a court decision essentially says you only have to mention current disputes. once this report is filed and dealt with, it doesn't have to be mentioned (i know this is a murky area but i hate the idea that the OP should avoid dealing with a problem that is massively impacting on everyday life for fear of possible problems with selling the house years down the line).