Changing surname after marriage

Zara33

MJMum wrote:

But that has soooo many advantages *insert evil grin here* When I applied for my records held at the CSA, guess what they sent me? Anything relating to "Mrs X". From years before I had even met my husband! :rotfl: CSA couldn't work out that I wasn't that Mrs X. But it made really interesting reading of her lies over the years! :eek:

I find this such a strange statement

If you had a case with the CSA then surely you would have been called either by your maiden name or your previous marriage surname, not your new husbands surname.

You cannot just call up the CSA and say "hello i'm Mrs x can you send me all the information you have regarding me"
When contacting the CSA you have to inform them of your reference number, your name & address, your date of birth and your postcode.

If you had dealings with the CSA already then your reference number would be totally different from your new husband's ex wife's.

So for you to receive your new husbands ex wifes paperwork is practically impossible! Unless of course you led the CSA to believe you were infact the ex wife

houndour

Bargain_Rzl wrote:

You know, if I ever get married I don't know what I'll do ... Like Becles I'm fiercely traditional and would want to be a Mrs with the same name as my children ... But my current surname is quite unique, a variant spelling of a more common name ... My dad has done family research and found that our name just doesn't exist outside of our extended family - he even owns the "oursurname".com domain, and we all have email addresses that are myfirstname@mysurname.com! ... Yes I've had to spell it out to everybody I've ever met ... but, for example, my ex was a Jones ... I wouldn't really want that, especially with a one-syllable Christian name as well

I'm proud to be a Jones

Don't forget to change ebay/paypal if you have accounts with them. Paypals a pain though because you have to fax it to them. It's the only one I haven't changed because I don't have access to a fax machine.

Justie

Benny24 wrote:

This whole name change thing......I don't particularly want to lose my maiden name as i am an only child and my father died when I was young, and I hate the thought of his surname stoppping. Equally I don't like the thought of my children having a different surname to me!
Double barrelling can seem a bit pretentious...and anyway whose name goes first, his or mine, or is it a case of whichever way sounds better!! Does he have to take the double barreling or can i just do it!!

Questions questions!!
Any thoughts?

I had the same thing for much the same reasons as I didn't want to either lose my father's name nor lose that half of my identity as I'd been my nonmarried self for 30 years when the time came to change I didn't want to become someone totally new but to acknowledge that I was adding something to my life so I am now double barrelled with my name first and his after. It's a PITA cos I always have to spell it and most of the time doctors etc file me under his name cos they can't work out the double barrelled thing but I still wouldn't change it. Mrs T is his mum it's not me...

We've been married almost 4 years and I changed lots of things when we first got married but there are still loads that I haven't done - including our joint account :rotfl: although it comes in handy to have bank accounts in both names as even my own family get the wrong one (although they're learning )

I object to the fact that you now have to buy a new passport instead of pay a small amount to amend the name as it's a tax on women and I use Ms all the time as it's no one's business whether I'm married or not. Much as I love my husband and want to be married to him he doesn't have to justify his marital status so neither should I.

amandada

I've been married for the 2nd time for over 10 years and have moved house times since I stopped living with my parents, and they still get mail for me in my maiden name!!:D
I changed my name very much under duress when I married the 2nd time, as after my divorce I'd reverted to my maiden name, and as my father is the last surviving member of his family with 2 daughters, my maiden name will "die" with him.
I returned to work after getting married (we married on the quiet) and my "helpful" colleagues had changed my name everywhere for me!! I went ballistic.
I gave in to the pressure, but if I had my time again, I'd have dug my heels in!

Jo_R_2

MJMum wrote:

I agree. People think it sounds "posh" because in days gone past, it represented the joining of two dynasties, but nowadays it usually comes about for other reasons (eg parents not married/parents keep different names due to career or personal choice/etc).

My DH's ex insisted on her new hubby using the double-barrelled version of his name (someone DH had known since childhood and had never used that name) so she could be "posh" :rotfl:

Both of my children have a double-barrelled surname as me and DP aren't married. There's no hyphen mind you - to me it's that that makes it pretentious.

The strange effect of no hyphen is that at nursery my oldest DD seems to have lost the first half of her surname (my surname, boo!) on her pockets, locker, nursery fees letters etc, and only has the last half (dad's name.) However this doesn't seem to have happened to all the kids with a hyphen!

MJMum

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Justie

Jo_R wrote:

Both of my children have a double-barrelled surname as me and DP aren't married. There's no hyphen mind you - to me it's that that makes it pretentious.

The strange effect of no hyphen is that at nursery my oldest DD seems to have lost the first half of her surname (my surname, boo!) on her pockets, locker, nursery fees letters etc, and only has the last half (dad's name.) However this doesn't seem to have happened to all the kids with a hyphen!

:rotfl: that's where I've gone wrong - I have no hyphen either because I thought it looked too weird and I lose my father's name regularly