Changing surname after marriage

VickyA_2

tawnyowls wrote:

Which is fine, if that's what you want to do and you've chosen that rather than just going with 'tradition'. I don't think my refusal to change my name shows I'm any less committed to my marriage, and I do find comments like that quite insulting and offensive. I also find it irritating that people assume that it will always be the woman who has to change. It's interesting that in the Muslim religion (not generally thought to be particularly female-friendly), women do not take their husband's name.

Didn't mean to offend:o

VickyA_2

cha97michelle wrote:

vicky - don't know if you both have cars with both of you insured to drive on, but we only just found out at renewal time for DH that i was still on his policy with my maiden name. OOPS. Don't know where that would have left us if i had crashed in his car.

I also still haven't got round to doing the NUT or the GTC. Must do that at some point soon. Just thought i would say while you were on a roll and it was the school hols.

Good luck.

Michelle, xx

Thanks for the reminder. Luckily, my car insurance agent was at the wedding, so she's changed my name on my car for me. I'll get OH to change his insurance when he gets in from work.

I need to renew my union membership, so thanks for that reminder too

andycarmi

kit wrote:

dont pay for your passport to be changed - I've been married and divorced and my passport is still in my maiden name!!
when it needs renewing, I will change it but not before.

Just something to think about they are putting the price up on Passports an extra twennty pound or so. I m filling my forms in now to avoid the extra charge!

VickyA_2

andycarmi wrote:

Just something to think about they are putting the price up on Passports an extra twennty pound or so. I m filling my forms in now to avoid the extra charge!

Another good point..... Thanks!

andycarmi

andycarmi wrote:

Just something to think about they are putting the price up on Passports an extra twennty pound or so. I m filling my forms in now to avoid the extra charge!

Just had a look at the date the- fee goes up on the 5th October 2006.
You can fill in your name and address online and they will send you the forms.

http://www.passport.gov.uk/apprequest.asp#form

tawnyowls

VickyA wrote:

Didn't mean to offend:o

Accepted, and thank you.:o I did assume it was just a throwaway comment, but still, it's amazing how many people just say that without even thinking about it, yet I (and most of my friends who've kept their names) would never dream of assuming that someone who does change her name is somehow downtrodden or subservient. As far as I'm concerned, it's up to the woman - whatever she decides is entirely her own business and she shouldn't come under pressure either way from anyone. I daresay I'm oversensitive to this because of the endless sniping from my MIL along those very lines (i.e. I'm not committed to my OH because I haven't changed my name) - ironically, I'm the only one of her DILs who is in an affair-free marriage.

At least banks and other institutions have now got systems in place to allow two surnames on bank accounts, mortgages etc. I wish, however, that they'd get rid of having titles, especially when one is always asked 'Is that Miss or Mrs', without the alternative of 'Ms' ever being used.

Bargain_Rzl wrote:

You know, if I ever get married I don't know what I'll do ... Like Becles I'm fiercely traditional and would want to be a Mrs with the same name as my children ... But my current surname is quite unique, a variant spelling of a more common name ... My dad has done family research and found that our name just doesn't exist outside of our extended family

Nothing to stop your future husband changing his. And if you get the old chestnut about 'tradition', it's worth pointing out that a number of very posh families in previous centuries who only had daughters inheriting required the groom (usually impoverished and often a younger son) to change his name in order to keep the wife's family name going.

calleyw

I have never changed my name and I am still Miss W Even though we have been married 6 and half years.

Funny we where only talking about it today at work. And I told the truth I was a lazy Moo and just did not get around to changing it. And when where first married I was still at work and everyone knew me as Calley W and I just felt that it would confuse everyone when they said Calley P. They would all go who.

The other day in the bank I was questioned about the joint account and I said yes I have joint account with my husband Mr P and I am on the account as Miss W :rotfl:

We don't have children so not an issue. And one reason I never changed was because I like my surname and my husband was even tempted to change his name to mine. Does not mean that I love him any less. And I really don't think he is that beothered by it. And I really don't want to be Mrs P the second as he been married before.

But I will get them all to change the title to Mrs W though. Sounds better.

My mum and Dad gave me and my husband a cheque as wedding present and she never filled the name on the top as she was not sure what I was called :rotfl:


Yours


Calley

sandieb

Found this a very interesting thread. When I remarried 4 years ago, I did not change all the documentation (loads of it!) I'd accumulated over 30 years in my previous married name. Too much hassle, too many documents, too expensive. I also have had comments about this and have been concerned about the legality of being "two people".

From what I can make out it is perfectly legal not to take on a husband's name if the wife so wishes. As for commitment - what's in a name?

roversbabe

VickyA wrote:

I've spent the first 27 years of my life spelling my surname (maiden name) and I'm now going to spend the rest of my life spelling DH's surname, even though his surname isn't that unusual people still manage to get it wrong!

Same here - spent 24 years spelling my own surname for people & I now have to spell out my married name too :rolleyes:

ailuro2

VickyA wrote:

* In addition, we've got loads of cheques made payable to me in my married name, so I need to change the name on my bank account

so who gave you a wedding present cheque that they knew you'd have to wait a few weeks before you could cash it?
silly people.