Marital/seperation advice.

Britwife

TallBlondie wrote: »

I understand a marriage isnt suppose to work like that, but unfortunatly due to wars in Afghan etc etc, my husband is forever away.
We have never had troubles before, never. Never split or anything in 7 years. I do believe our problems are down to not seeing each other as often as the "normal" married couple, and if they have slept together, which i don't think they have, then there is no alternative but for me to remove his testicles whilst hes sleeping.

Sorry about that, now I understand about living apart from each other. I thought you guys were living apart due to problems.

Do you think this could be due to a lot of stress of being over there and having to deal with the war? How much longer does he have with the sevice?
I think you're probably right about them not sleeping together, I thought they had because I didn't realize your separation was due to him having to be away.

I apologize if I upset you. I can also see why you really have only emails and such to communicate.

I have a friend in the states who is an army wife. They had a premie baby born around 23 weeks who was in the NICU for almost 6 months. He was over fighting the war and was flown home asap and had very little counseling. He was restationed to stay close home with his family. They ended up separating just before the baby's first birthday and they tried counseling. He insisted they move in with his family but she refused due to health issues with their baby. He just left and she moved back close to home. He had very little contact with his son but after about 6 months or so, they started to talk things out and now they are happily back together and he is an amazing father.

It's got to be so hard to go over and fight in a war and then have to come home and adjust. I'm sure none of this is easy on any of you. Again, I apologize for replying without knowing enough and assuming.

TallBlondie

@ Jackie, your post is exactly what i am trying to do. I have lost over a stone with all the stress since last week, and i am determined that when he comes home he will hopefully realise what a plant pot he's been. I am determined to get myself back on track, and to appeal to the single market if i end up back on it lol!

@ Wol2, i got in touch with all parts of Forces help that i could think of, as soon as all this kicked off. They have been fantastic and are waiting for my husbands consent to get the wheels in motion to start moving us all closer to home, instead of me in Preston, him in Germany/Canada and our "home" in the North East, if that is what he wants.

@Britwife, thankyou for your explaination, our situation is basically cut and dry in my eyes. We live seperate apart from when he has leave, which has caused the "spark" to lessen, also this is the cause for the b1tching on my part, as i get apprehensive in thinking oh no he's got to leave again shortly etc. I am also very isolated, no friends no family, lonely, but i still have never gone on a "date" with another person. I truely believe he is riddled with guilt and is using excuses such as "your family will now hate me", "i want you to get on with your life instead of waiting around for me", "if we tried to get back on track, it will be fine at first but then go back to normal" to basically force me to make the decision so he dont look so bad.
I suppose i am fighting tooth and nail to make our marriage work, but deep down i get the feeling he wants to live seperate and not even make a try of things. This is what i'm not getting as like i said weve never split before.