Marital/seperation advice.

TallBlondie

Ok so today i get a Dear John letter from my husband saying he thinks we have drifted apart, and he don't love me as much as he used too. (amazingly he has just left for Canada yesterday and decided to add "our marriage is over" onto the end of i arrived safely!)

Needless to say i am in bits, but i have to be practical and look at thing as a back up plan.

I am living in a house that comes with his work, once he changes his status of married to single then i have 93 days to move out.

I am a SAHM with one 2 year old, and the only money i get myself is child benefit and £10 working tax credit (i think thats what it is!) a month. I HAVE NO SAVINGS OR BACK UP MONEY.
This where i need help.....i'm currently miles away from family and friends and need financial advice, and housing advice. Am i able to private rent somewhere and get help with the rent? Or do the council put me somewhere and i have no say?

I have spent the whole day up in the air since receiving the email, and any sound advice/help you can offer me would be great. Many thanks.

mumof1and1ontheway

With private renting some take a deposit scheme... not sure it its dependant on areas but its worth looking into. The council have to house you in order of priority. But you get to turn down 3 in total... and then you get offered no more places to live. Obv the more you turn them down the less likely they will offer to you first. But they have to at least make sure its liveable... and you do get to tick on the form which areas you DO want, and can ignore the areas you dont.

But if you are desp it might be worth taking anything they offer aslong as safe for you and your little one.. and then try and save for a deposit and look at private renting... or apply for crisis loan to see if they will give you anything towards.

Also once on your own if not working you will be entitled to income support, child tax credits and possibly health eating vouchers? (not sure what age they stop at) HTH

jackieglasgow

Hugs to you, Tallblondie. In the years to come you will see that this was actually a good thing, and you are well rid of such a spineless man. Contact the council first thing Monday morning and get your applications in place, advise them you will be homeless within 3 months or less, (if your husband chooses to leave his current job) and ask about local housing associations too, as many of them have a seperate application process to the council. Go onto entitledto.co.uk and see what benefits you can claim. Contact your mother, sister, best friend. You will need someone to give you a hug and support.

Good luck, and although it's early days yet, look forward, your new life will be better.

Jackie X

TallBlondie

Could i look around for a private rent and then get help with the rent? I really don't want to live in a rough area, and to be honest this is on my mind alot.
Thanks for your replies above ladies x

Bubby

I don't know about the housing but your husband will need to pay you child maintenance aswell. I would after speaking to the council book yourself a free consultation with a solicitor. What a spineless man:mad:

TallBlondie

When filling in the entitledto questions, it says id be entitled to housing benefit, council tax help, income support and child tax...approx 230 a week.
Does the child maintenance go on top of that money? and what about debt bills, is there any help with this? Thanks, i have no friends in this area, so just the chatting is proving to be keeping sane, the questions answered are a bonus. Thankyou.

daska

NO SOFA SURFING! Whatever you do don't move out without a proper house/flat of your own to go to because if you leave the house you're currently living in without waiting to be evicted you will be classed as 'voluntarily homeless'. The council will then refuse to help and you might even be offered the solution of having your child placed in care while you find somewhere to live.

Get yourself registered as homeless asap, check what the council's requirements are and follow them to the letter, it may be that they require your husband's employer to formally give you notice. They may do a deposit scheme that you could take advantage of.

If you're now single you could apply for tax credits in your own right. You'll have to cancel the joint claim and reapply. And don't forget he'll be liable for child maintenance. I think you should also be eligible for Income Support.

[Deleted User]

Its a very good idea to register for benefits and tax credits now (stating he has left the house and u will lose it due to it being tied to his job). Then u will have it sorted by the time u have to leave the house (it can take 2 weeks to get tax credits but it can also be as long as 6 weeks). For most benefits u can apply online. If u need more help, see the CAB on Monday morning.

And yes, u are entitled to Healthy Eating vouchers for £3.10 a week with a child under four. Every little helps (I go to Farm Foods which is doing 2lts of milk x2 for £1.50 so I get maximum value for them).

I'm not an expert but if u want to know more, feel free to pm me. Also try the benefits section of this forum.

JoJoB

Check with your local authority housing officer what the housing allocation scheme is in your area. It may be as mumof1 describes, or it may be a "choice-based" system which many councils are moving towards these days. If the latter you will be able to "bid" on properties you think are appropriate for yourself rather than being offered properties by the council. While you are waiting you would probably be placed in B&B accomodation. Either way it is usually the case that a local authority will only accept a homeless application from people who have 28 days or less to leave their current accommodation. Having 3 months to leave will not constitute being homeless with most local authorities.

If there is no chance of sorting things out with your husband it will help to first of all get yourself and your child recognised as a separate legal household even though you may be living in the same house as your husband for a while, by getting a statement of separation drawn up by a solicitor. This may help with benefits applications if you are still at the same address. If you want a deposit for private renting is it likely your husband will fund you to do this and support you and his child while you begin your new life, or do you think he is going to turn his back financially?

Contact your local CAB to find out local housing policy (it differs from area to area) and advice on benefits. Your husband will definitely have to pay you maintenance but this can take the form of a voluntary agreement between you both, an order by the courts, or going through the CSA.

sp1987

Here is a child maintenance calculator to help you work out what you will be entitled to for your child from him: http://www.cmoptions.org/en/calculator/calculator.asp

You sound well rid of the type of man that ends a marriage via email from another continent!

Are there many marital assets? I'd start collecting evidence of any bank statements/details of any assets now so when the divorce comes and the splitting of assets you can show them accurately at the date of separation in case he decides to lose/spend/hide any. Photocopy them and set yourself up a single bank account if you do not have one for any money you get. Are there any joint accounts? If I were you I would start saving for a deposit for a new place in case it is needed, even if just a little bit.

God I'd be so tempted to sell all his stuff before he comes home to empty wardrobes/drawers/garage. Don't do it though, don't want to lower yourself to his level.

Get yourself to a solicitor for advice...having no income will probably qualify you for legal aid.

jackieglasgow

Just wondering how you are this morning, tallblondie?