The cutting out/cutting down alcohol thread (part 7)

Pippilongstocking

(()) Miss P

sorry to dash and post - or whichever way aroudn that is

Sparkles another one for me 3 please

DEBTMONKEY1A

5 AFDS for me please! Have a mate + kids coming up for 2 days later 2night..amazing how having something to do (& not wanting to appear a total drunk!) can make me very easily/no cravings come off booze when needed....now then...just need to get to the 31st inclusive & I've done my 15 days! Hello to all-hope you are well!

Pippilongstocking

graemecarter wrote: »

If I do nothing different today then I cannot expect tomorrow to change.
I was locked in this endlessly repetitive cycle of: drink, swear off drinking, feel better, feel that life was actually a bit flat without alcohol, feel like I 'deserved' a drink, then I would pick up a drink, swear off drinking, etc etc'

That would not have stopped for me if I hadn't changed myself.
Will power had no power where alcohol was concerned.
I had to take action, hoping that my problem would go was not sufficient.
I can look at my children and not think that I have let them down today by having a drink. I have not picked up something which is a poison to me. I have not damaged myself through my desire to drink. Hopefully I will see THEIR children born and will be a grandpa. Even though it is a long way off, me drinking reduces the chances of that happening.
I don't want that legacy of 'My dad was a drunk' - I have to take responsibility for my alcoholism and do something today that helps me not pick up that first drink. If I can do that today , and for today only, then today has been a success

This struck a chord with me, thanks GC - I lost my Dad (as some of you know) age 53 to alcohol in 2002 - he lost us years ago, lost his job etc.

Just because I've be 'functioning' at my life, doesn't mean I've been giving it my best shot, despite my protestations to the opposite.

My dad WAS a drunk, its a hard legacy to deal with all the years on from it even after leaving home.

I don't want my kids to think that of me, even if I am 'functional' and to be honest they think I hardly drink at all, I'm always terrified of that 'one time' that things go horribly wrong, and it would be so easy after a few glasses or even just one for the self destruct button to not care if they see me drunk. I'm trying hard to avoid that happenning, to be there for them later in life. They deserve that, but its an uphill struggle some days still. I've not found that inner place of peace yet, but I'm getting there, slowly.

I still seem to find self destruct alot - but its getting less frequent.

Great stuff you've been successful with being sober, many more years of it for you and those of us sober/trying/thinking of changing our behaviour for the better. xxxx

Sorry for the rambles - good luck today people!!


xx

mollypolly

Hope everyone else is ok. Lots of ups and downs here so I'm feeling a bit ho hum at the moment...just waiting for the next drama lol!

I loved this sentence from Miss Piggys post.....this sums up how I have been for the last six months and still am.
OH asked me yesterday whatever had happened to our lives. We thought that when the kids had grown up and left home we would have more ME time......not a chance.
Life seems to be one crisis/trauma after another with no rest in between.I have even become scared of my phone ringing because it is usually something bad happening:o
I just feel so shattered from it all and it would be so easy to turn to drink again......believe me I have been very tempted this last few weeks.I am sure if it wasnt for all my friends on here I would be back where I started.So thank you all for being here....even when I dont post very much I do still read every day.
At the moment I am living life as GC suggests...not drinking 'just for today'
Going to go for a swim now I think.....at least I have to leave my phone in the locker then......:cool:

Sorry for the moan....just needed to do that.
Will be back later....hopefully a bit happier.
Have a lovely day and Take care of YOU.(need to try this advice myself:rotfl:)
Love Mollypollyxxxx

ETA.....Whats happened to Shaggys daily pictures:(

Miss_Piggy_2

MP - you have my sympathies. Lots of ((hugs)). This is exactly how life is at the moment. Unfortunately I HAVE been turning to the bottle. But today have got up in a slightly different frame of mind. Not sure why. Theres half a bottle of wine left. Tempted to throw it away but part of me is taunting me not to.:(

I remember at New Year, OH and I were feeling really positive. But things just seem to go continually pear shaped. Whats going on!?

Miss P
xx

mollypolly

Miss_Piggy wrote: »

MP - you have my sympathies. Lots of ((hugs)). This is exactly how life is at the moment. Unfortunately I HAVE been turning to the bottle. But today have got up in a slightly different frame of mind. Not sure why. Theres half a bottle of wine left. Tempted to throw it away but part of me is taunting me not to.:(

I remember at New Year, OH and I were feeling really positive. But things just seem to go continually pear shaped. Whats going on!?

Miss P
xx

That's exactly what I was saying......we were in Blackpool having a lovely time.
Who would have thought so much could happen in such a short space of time.....must be something to do with the planets:cool:.

Right...going for a swim
xxxx

RecoveringAlcoholic

I'd love to go back to AA, as I really need their support, to stay sober. However, I'm just worried as to what they'll think, as I've come and gone before. Too much pride

Go to a different meeting.


.

graemecarter

Miss_Piggy wrote: »

MP - you have my sympathies. Lots of ((hugs)). This is exactly how life is at the moment. Unfortunately I HAVE been turning to the bottle. But today have got up in a slightly different frame of mind. Not sure why. Theres half a bottle of wine left. Tempted to throw it away but part of me is taunting me not to.:(

I remember at New Year, OH and I were feeling really positive. But things just seem to go continually pear shaped. Whats going on!?

Miss P
xx

What's going on!? Life I guess.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.

Recovery has taught me that my best intentions are not going to make many things happen that I want. I have no control of people, places, or things.
For today (and today alone) I do have control if I drink or not today. That's a mercy. If that's ok, then everything else seems to fall into position (with no help from me)...

This only works because I changed myself - doing nothing different would have meant I would still be stuck in that rut.

randomname_3

Good morning to everyone struggling to overcome alcholism. I have just come across this site and it seems to be a really helpful and supportive place to be. I suffer from the disease and have failed many times to stop drinking. Like some others of you, AA is not the place for me. I hope you will accept me on this forum as I think that so long as we are all honest with ourselves and each other, then progress can be made.

I will do my best not to drink today and will report back tomorrow. (providing I can find the thread again.)

Pippilongstocking

Miss P chuck it down the sink.

((())) molly huge hugs - xxxxx