The cutting out/cutting down alcohol thread (part 7)

skintscottishgirl

graemecarter wrote: »

One thing that sobriety has taught me is that we see ourselves differently to how other people see us. Rightly or wrongly, that's the way it is.

I'm glad you didn't drink on it Sim - as that would have meant she was right about you
You did well for not giving your power away too easily.
One has to develop a thick skin in sobriety - life isn't always easy and enjoyable.

I try to not act out on it and escape to drink.
That's what the alcoholic inside me wants to do, but I don't have to listen to it.

Spot on Graeme my thoughts exactly.

One has to develop a thick skin in all areas of life, in sobriety or not.

How long for you now?

SimIsOnTheUp

skintscottishgirl wrote: »

Sim,

Don't bother even bringing it up, it's not worth it.

Maybe you could see someone else?

Best thing to do is just go no i want to get back sooner than that.

Repeat as necessary, she'll soon get it!

Or get a part time job before you go back......

Don't let it bother you it's your own opinion that counts, not hers if you think she is wrong.

XX

PS I have always found you avery mentally hazy but didn't like to say.........:p

Hiya SSG.

Thanks, you're talking sense, as per usual!

You're right. It isn't worth it, however I do feel, that I need to 'put her straight' and to let her know that I won't be spoken to like that - AND that I'm not 'mentally hazy' at all!

It was as if, she was more comfortable, when I was little less sure of myself, and low!

As you say, I need to just emphasise, that I want to get back into work before next year..

I've already called the taxi company about work yesterday afternoon, and the boss is due to call me back today :j

SSG, your comment regarding 'not letting it bother me, and it being my own opinion that counts..' is spot on - I struggle with being over - sensitive, and I wish I believed in myself more!

Your PS cracked me up! :rotfl:

Sim x

skintscottishgirl

SimIsOnTheUp wrote: »

Hiya SSG.

Thanks, you're talking sense, as per usual!

You're right. It isn't worth it, however I do feel, that I need to 'put her straight' and to let her know that I won't be spoken to like that - AND that I'm not 'mentally hazy' at all!

It was as if, she was more comfortable, when I was little less sure of myself, and low!

As you say, I need to just emphasise, that I want to get back into work before next year..

I've already called the taxi company about work yesterday afternoon, and the boss is due to call me back today :j

SSG, your comment regarding 'not letting it bother me, and it being my own opinion that counts..' is spot on - I struggle with being over - sensitive, and I wish I believed in myself more!

Your PS cracked me up! :rotfl:

Sim x

But Sim.....

I was being serious?




XX

SimIsOnTheUp

graemecarter wrote: »

One thing that sobriety has taught me is that we see ourselves differently to how other people see us. Rightly or wrongly, that's the way it is.

I'm glad you didn't drink on it Sim - as that would have meant she was right about you
You did well for not giving your power away too easily.
One has to develop a thick skin in sobriety - life isn't always easy and enjoyable.

I try to not act out on it and escape to drink.
That's what the alcoholic inside me wants to do, but I don't have to listen to it.

Hiya Graeme,

Great to hear from you.

You've hit the nail right on the head.

I just found her negativity, very taxing! :mad:

I struggle with the thick skin - it eludes me.. :rotfl:

However, I genuinely don't think I'm "mentally hazy" at all - I feel mentally sharp, and physically fitter too

It was as if she didn't like that - most odd.

Graeme - do you think I should bring this up with her next time I attend?

AA are spot on, about resentments - they are certainly, no good for us

Cheers,

Sim.

SimIsOnTheUp

skintscottishgirl wrote: »

But Sim.....

I was being serious?




XX

Seriously?

graemecarter

skintscottishgirl wrote: »

Spot on Graeme my thoughts exactly.

One has to develop a thick skin in all areas of life, in sobriety or not.

How long for you now?

A few days now.
But I still feel at the start of this journey of sobriety

Having time under your belt is a double edged sword.
On the one hand I have built up experiences, and know I can get through Christmas, Birthdays, Weddings, etc without drinking.
However, not drinking for a period lulls me into a false sense of security. The 'Just the one won't hurt, as alcohol is not a problem for me any more' thinking....

TBH, it doesn't matter what is on my sober CV. It is no protection against a drink. It is what I do today that counts.
That's why I do things today that help prevent me picking up a drink for today, and today only. All I need to do is get through today without a drink. Tomorrow is in the future, and the past is the past. My head needs to be where my feet are, which is right here, right now.

skintscottishgirl

SimIsOnTheUp wrote: »

Seriously?

No Sim I am taking the p1ss! ( as you are?? )

And what difference would it make anyway? It's your opinion that counts. Do you think you are mentally sharp?

If so who cares what some chick in a job centre says?

Obviously my opinion counts for a lot though:p

XX

PS really

Don't give her the satisfaction of bringing it up, just repeat that you are looking to get back sooner rather than later until she gets it

Won't take long.....

And you don't want to get into a debate about your mental haziness with her.....

XX

brokepaolo

skintscottishgirl wrote: »

Morning All

Hope everyone is OK

BP I feel for you parents are difficult at the best of times, especially as we get older and they almost become the child and you the adult.

Sorry about your phone call, best thing is just to let it go, as he's not going to change in a hurry, and we are all doing the best we can.

Keep in touch with him as he needs you in his life even though he drives you demented at times!



XX

Cheers SSG and sorry folks for the rant, I was just feeling very irate about it all last night.

I learned long ago that my father, due to his depression, is obviously unable to consider anyone's emotions or problems other than his own. I don't mean that in a nasty way, anyone who has experience of depression or relatives with depression will confirm this, their condition leads them to be incredibly selfish and often very insensitive, not to mention forgetful, incoherent and of course generally emoionally unstable.

I'm usually very good at keeping that knowledge at the back of my mind whenever speaking to my father, biting my tongue before lashing out because I know it's his condition speaking, not him, but last night I flipped, I let my guard slip and forgot about all that and I do feel a bit bad about it today.

But on the other hand, this has gone on too long now. For the last 8 or 9 months I have had to pretend that I'm doing fine with money just so as not to upset him but the truth is the complete opposite, I'm in a mess when it comes to money. Yes, I'm doing something about it slowly but surely and I'm on the right path towards getting it sorted but it will take some more time and it's quite stressful so if I occasionally let slip what is actually happening to me, the last thing I need is for my own father to tell me he doesn;t want to talk about it, or if he does want to talk about it all he wants to say is that I shouldn't have got myself in that position in the first place. It's just no help at all.

Anyway, I'm going to let it lie for a bit, I'm going to do all that I can to ensure that this issue never need rear its ugly head again when in conversation with my father. I'm sure he wants the best for me and that he's worried about my situation but I'm going to get through this on my own and remind myself never to mention my financial difficulties to him because it upsets him.

Once I'm out of this situation, it will be amazing to tell my dad that I'm free of this almighty weight on my shoulders and I can start living a normal life and who knows, maybe even start building a relationship with my dad which so far has always had the barrier of his condition combined with my money trobules standing between it.

Sadly, he will always have his condition but hopefully, I won't always have money troubles and that's the best I can do towards breaking down the barrier.

skintscottishgirl

graemecarter wrote: »

A few days now.
But I still feel at the start of this journey of sobriety

Having time under your belt is a double edged sword.
On the one hand I have built up experiences, and know I can get through Christmas, Birthdays, Weddings, etc without drinking.
However, not drinking for a period lulls me into a false sense of security. The 'Just the one won't hurt, as alcohol is not a problem for me any more' thinking....

TBH, it doesn't matter what is on my sober CV. It is no protection against a drink. It is what I do today that counts.
That's why I do things today that help prevent me picking up a drink for today, and today only. All I need to do is get through today without a drink. Tomorrow is in the future, and the past is the past. My head needs to be where my feet are, which is right here, right now.

I take it it's meant to be a few years?

I know what you mean about it being a double edged sword, as i used to go for ages without a drink in the flat then treat myself....

Now i have the last time in my sig to remind me and don't really count how long it's been i just don't drink alone in my flat. End of.

The thing you say about today being effectively all we really have is so true in all areas of life, whether you're an alcoholic or not.

So much of the big book is relevant to anyone....

graemecarter

SimIsOnTheUp wrote: »

Hiya Graeme,

Great to hear from you.

You've hit the nail right on the head.

I just found her negativity, very taxing! :mad:

I struggle with the thick skin - it eludes me.. :rotfl:

However, I genuinely don't think I'm "mentally hazy" at all - I feel mentally sharp, and physically fitter too

It was as if she didn't like that - most odd.

Graeme - do you think I should bring this up with her next time I attend?

AA are spot on, about resentments - they are certainly, no good for us

Cheers,

Sim.

Nope - just turn up and be yourself; mentally sharp.

I know I get judged on my actions, not my thinking. If I am mentally sharp, then that is more effective than me telling people I am mentally sharp.

You have no control over other people, and what they do or think about you. It has taken me years to realise this. I feel I was born with a layer of skin missing, so everything used to hurt me. Sobriety has helped me grow a thicker layer of skin, but there is still one very sensitive person inside of me. The key is that I don't drink on it today