The cutting out/cutting down alcohol thread (part 7)

barshamhillbilly

graemecarter wrote: »

Be careful though. Alcohol can creep back
There have been people on this thread who have a period of not drinking, and feel great for it. However, they start drinking again (alcohol is cunning, baffling, powerful) and things get worse. It's much easier to stay on the wagon than to climb on again.

:o I'll second that one :o

Pippilongstocking

barshamhillbilly wrote: »

:o I'll second that one :o

Morning all - I'll third it.

One glass of wine away - leading to another when home.

Must stop even one or two glasses makes me sluggish and yuksome these days.

Morning all - not AF last night - see the quote above - will be tonight - this routine of a wee glass of something isnt' for me.

I hope you're all good - HB a lovely hug for you as well.

Kiddingtons away for 6 weeks - but almost a week gone.

DIdn't get much done last night - to be fair I was tired but then with one glass of wine in hand - did absolutely NOTHING else.

As a consequence bit annoyed with myself today - onwards though xx

graemecarter

fayjmck wrote: »

Morning all - I'll third it.

One glass of wine away - leading to another when home.

Must stop even one or two glasses makes me sluggish and yuksome these days.

Morning all - not AF last night - see the quote above - will be tonight - this routine of a wee glass of something isnt' for me.

I hope you're all good - HB a lovely hug for you as well.

Kiddingtons away for 6 weeks - but almost a week gone.

DIdn't get much done last night - to be fair I was tired but then with one glass of wine in hand - did absolutely NOTHING else.

As a consequence bit annoyed with myself today - onwards though xx

I was powerless over that first drink.
It wouldn't always lead to more drinks, but I couldn't stop myself having a drink EVEN IF I DIDN'T WANT IT.

Why did I drink when

• I knew it was bad for me
• I didn't want it
• It would make me feel guilty
• It would not give me an AF day

???

That's my alcoholism.

SimIsOnTheUp

Good Morning all.

I'm in a funny old mood, due to a rather odd conversation yesterday, with the girl at the 'Work Focused Interview' (they work on behalf of the DWP)

She's a strange one - nice enough girl, but quite negative..

I've met her probably 7 / 8 times before, and yesterday, when I went in to see her, and sat down, we asked each other how were -

I said "Great thanks. Things are good."

She replied "You're lying?" sort of half joking, with a raised eyebrow..

I was quite shocked! OK, she was probably surprised, as I'd been a bit low last time I'd seen her, but it was an odd thing for her to come out with all the same.

We talked for a while, about how I'd wanted to concentrate on keeping sober, before going back to work, but how I'd like to go back into part time work asap..

At this, she said "The last thing you need to do right now, is to be working in a job. Well, maybe in a year or so, but not now."

Hmmm, I thought - Again, not helpful, and very negative!

I replied - "Well, I don't know. I'm feeling pretty good. I'm doing ok. I'll get there."

She then said "Well Sim, physically you are yes, but mentally, you're still a little bit hazy I think aren't you"

I was flabbergasted! This Woman is not a Counsellor!!

I suppose I'm annoyed, 'cos I wasn't 'assertive enough', and I didn't have a 'clever, sharp, witty, and fast reply to that she said'.. This feeling I struggle with, and nearly drank on yesterday.

Think I just said "I'm ok. I'm getting there."

What I should have said / wanted to say was "Hang on a minute! What do you mean by "mentally, I'm still a little bit hazy for Gods sake?!"

I've had a few people, comment on how I'm much 'sharper, focused, and positive' lately. I feel far from 'mentally hazy'.

Earlier in the conversation, I'd asked her, what exactly is the ultimate aim of these 'Work Focused Interviews' while I'm on ESA.

She didn't seem to like the question too much!

She said "I did explain this to you a few sessions back, but you might not have taken it in, as it might've gone over your head at the time" (she hadn't).. How patronising is that?!

Anyway, apparently, "Everyone on ESA has to attend them, and they are to help remove any 'barriers', from preventing us being ready to re - enter employment"

They can "help with CV's, interview techniques, computers etc"

The crunch came, when she said "I suppose I'm sort of an informal Counsellor, and guide"

SHE IS NOT A COUNSELLOR!

She's quite a nice girl, but blimey, can she be negative.

I felt so positive when I went in, and still did when I came out, however I was confused, and insulted, (and still am) by what she said about me not being ready to go back to work, for "at least a year"..

Her comment about me being "in a much better place, compared to last month" and that she could see I was better "..physically, but mentally, a little bit hazy" has screwed with my head a bit, and I can't for the life of me, understand why she said this.

I've never felt so clear headed, and this has really got to me.

It was as if, she wanted me to feel 'a bit less confident' and 'not so positive' - odd.

I have to see her in three weeks time, and I've decided to try and let it go for now, but that when I see her, I'm going to ask her to clarify, exactly what she meant by her comments, and I'll make it clear, that I found it quite negative and insulting!

Sorry to witter on folks, but I hadn't really acknowledged just how odd, negative and unhelpful she'd been.

It took me a while to realise, that she had no right, to be making such judgements on my state of mind, after 15 minutes, especially as she's no Doctor :-/

Cheers,

Sim x

SimIsOnTheUp

It also, made me realise something quite profound..

That, for years, I'd though I was quite an assertive person.

However, in hindsight I haven't been, and instead, stupidly, I've carried around far too much anger about how I've let people get away with speaking to me badly / treating me badly - and at the time, I haven't stuck up for myself enough.

That then results, in me beating myself up for it, and that in turn, led me to drink on the emotions :-/

skintscottishgirl

SimIsOnTheUp wrote: »

Good Morning all.

I'm in a funny old mood, due to a rather odd conversation yesterday, with the girl at the 'Work Focused Interview' (they work on behalf of the DWP)

She's a strange one - nice enough girl, but quite negative..

I've met her probably 7 / 8 times before, and yesterday, when I went in to see her, and sat down, we asked each other how were -

I said "Great thanks. Things are good."

She replied "You're lying?" sort of half joking, with a raised eyebrow..

I was quite shocked! OK, she was probably surprised, as I'd been a bit low last time I'd seen her, but it was an odd thing for her to come out with all the same.

We talked for a while, about how I'd wanted to concentrate on keeping sober, before going back to work, but how I'd like to go back into part time work asap..

At this, she said "The last thing you need to do right now, is to be working in a job. Well, maybe in a year or so, but not now."

Hmmm, I thought - Again, not helpful, and very negative!

I replied - "Well, I don't know. I'm feeling pretty good. I'm doing ok. I'll get there."

She then said "Well Sim, physically you are yes, but mentally, you're still a little bit hazy I think aren't you"

I was flabbergasted! This Woman is not a Counsellor!!

I suppose I'm annoyed, 'cos I wasn't 'assertive enough', and I didn't have a 'clever, sharp, witty, and fast reply to that she said'.. This feeling I struggle with, and nearly drank on yesterday.

Think I just said "I'm ok. I'm getting there."

What I should have said / wanted to say was "Hang on a minute! What do you mean by "mentally, I'm still a little bit hazy for Gods sake?!"

I've had a few people, comment on how I'm much 'sharper, focused, and positive' lately. I feel far from 'mentally hazy'.

Earlier in the conversation, I'd asked her, what exactly is the ultimate aim of these 'Work Focused Interviews' while I'm on ESA.

She didn't seem to like the question too much!

She said "I did explain this to you a few sessions back, but you might not have taken it in, as it might've gone over your head at the time" (she hadn't).. How patronising is that?!

Anyway, apparently, "Everyone on ESA has to attend them, and they are to help remove any 'barriers', from preventing us being ready to re - enter employment"

They can "help with CV's, interview techniques, computers etc"

The crunch came, when she said "I suppose I'm sort of an informal Counsellor, and guide"

SHE IS NOT A COUNSELLOR!

She's quite a nice girl, but blimey, can she be negative.

I felt so positive when I went in, and still did when I came out, however I was confused, and insulted, (and still am) by what she said about me not being ready to go back to work, for "at least a year"..

Her comment about me being "in a much better place, compared to last month" and that she could see I was better "..physically, but mentally, a little bit hazy" has screwed with my head a bit, and I can't for the life of me, understand why she said this.

I've never felt so clear headed, and this has really got to me.

It was as if, she wanted me to feel 'a bit less confident' and 'not so positive' - odd.

I have to see her in three weeks time, and I've decided to try and let it go for now, but that when I see her, I'm going to ask her to clarify, exactly what she meant by her comments, and I'll make it clear, that I found it quite negative and insulting!

Sorry to witter on folks, but I hadn't really acknowledged just how odd, negative and unhelpful she'd been.

It took me a while to realise, that she had no right, to be making such judgements on my state of mind, after 15 minutes, especially as she's no Doctor :-/

Cheers,

Sim x

Sim,

Don't bother even bringing it up, it's not worth it.

Maybe you could see someone else?

Best thing to do is just go no i want to get back sooner than that.

Repeat as necessary, she'll soon get it!

Or get a part time job before you go back......

Don't let it bother you it's your own opinion that counts, not hers if you think she is wrong.

XX

PS I have always found you avery mentally hazy but didn't like to say.........:p

115K

1st day AF for me thanks.

I'm eating chocolate and having home made potato wedges and baked beans for breakfast!

I might make some homemade bread too!:rotfl::o

69chick wrote: »

115k hugs hun, you sound really down, do you think the counselling might be helpful in the long run? I hope so for you, sorry to hear about bad stuff coming up....it is just so hard when you are in a rut drinkwise to break it, that 1st day is always the hardest...:grouphug:

Aww thanks 69C, what is weird is that I don't feel particularly down at the moment, I just seem to have gone on an almighty bender lately.

Wanna_Bee_Free wrote: »

et.
115K I know exactly how you feel, I wasn't posting for ages last month as I didn't have any AF days until right at the end. Hope you clamber back on the (damn slippy at times) wagon soon.

I'm back on it hopefully.:)

jo1972 wrote: »

115k, only a small minority of problem drinkers sit in the park drinking meths, most of them are just like us. I remember when I first started with my last counsellor, she was very good at dragging emotions out of me which I found extremely draining and intially it was quite depressing, after a few sessions I discovered it was like a jigsaw and everything started to slot together and it was quite liberating. Let yourself free xx

I know that most drinkers aren't like that. I just find it frustrating the way my counseller doesn't seem to understand what a serious problem my drinking is. I have told her how much I drink but it seems like she doesn't believe me or something.:( People are constantly surprised when I tell them how much booze I can put away. Even when I go to the dentist when I have to have any work done he has to give me about six pain relief injections because of my high tolerance to substances.

graemecarter

One thing that sobriety has taught me is that we see ourselves differently to how other people see us. Rightly or wrongly, that's the way it is.

I'm glad you didn't drink on it Sim - as that would have meant she was right about you
You did well for not giving your power away too easily.
One has to develop a thick skin in sobriety - life isn't always easy and enjoyable.

I try to not act out on it and escape to drink.
That's what the alcoholic inside me wants to do, but I don't have to listen to it.

skintscottishgirl

Morning All

Hope everyone is OK

BP I feel for you parents are difficult at the best of times, especially as we get older and they almost become the child and you the adult.

Sorry about your phone call, best thing is just to let it go, as he's not going to change in a hurry, and we are all doing the best we can.

Keep in touch with him as he needs you in his life even though he drives you demented at times!

Onwards and uowards though.

Hugs to everyone else, it's quite a nice day out today, i am working later back shift hopefully not too late tonight!

On the plus side

7 af as of last night please Sparkles

XX

115K

I wasn't having a go at you Jo by the way, I was just explaining.:)

(I always think I might be coming across as b*tchy on forums because it's hard when you are not face to face with someone.:o:D)