The cutting out/cutting down alcohol thread (part 7)

69chick

Gwingwyn, what a great post, thanks for sharing your experience on here :T

Miss_Piggy_2

Gwingwyn - great post. Always lots of to'ing and fro'ing on here about AA, but as GC says, its about what works for the individual. Thanks for such a good post.



Had a nice morning in the end. Text my best mate saying I was a bit glum and she came over to visit! We don't often see each other as both busy with families and work, so it was lovely I feel a happy bunny now. We both agreed we should make more efforts to see each other more often - at present we get together for a coffee every month or so.

Miss P
xx

graemecarter

skintscottishgirl wrote: »

Hi All

I have been reading through previous posts and it strilkes me that we are all just being totally selfish. If you put your desire for drink over your colleagues/friends/family etc you are being selfish. Maybe i and others are being selfish but we can't seem to help ourselves. Is that the whole problem. I might be selfish but i genuinely don't think i am a bad person.

I never thought I was selfish. I thought I used to put myself last, and everyone first. In short, I thought I was a great bloke, the epitome of selflessness.

However, I see now that my relationship with alcohol was selfish. I was a better dad when not drinking, but I used to drink. I was a better husband when not drinking, but I used to drink. I was a better employee when not drinking, but I used to drink.
That's how it's selfish. My relationship with alcohol came before everything and everyone.

If alcohol was costing money that would have been better spent elsewhere, that is selfish.
If alcohol was going to take years off my life, that is hugely selfish on my children.

This is my alcoholism though - and I think all addictions are selfish. Gambling, drugs, sex. That's the nature of addiction.

I needed help from others to stop drinking, and there is no shame in that.
Just because I am alcoholic and have selfish thoughts does not mean I am a bad person. I have to take responsibility for my alcoholism however, and not ignore it or wish it away. Addicts may do bad things, but I believe they are ill people, not bad people. Perhaps I think like that to let myself off the hook. Maybe I do??
There is a big difference between being deliberately selfish, and selfish because of an addiction. However, some would say it is selfish not to do something about an addiction.

My first thoughts are nearly always selfish - if someone cancels on me because they are not feeling well, my first thought is 'Thanks a bunch, that's my night ruined'. However, my 2nd thought is 'I hope they are ok' . Thoughts are normally useless without an action.. So if I then ask if I can help in any way and actually do it, then that's fine.
So even if my first thought IS selfish, it doesn't mean that I AM selfish.
We are primarily the product of our actions or inactions, not our thoughts.

skintscottishgirl

i am not trying to have a go at anyone, but maybe it is a disease of selfishness, myself first.
If my mum had a heart attck i could not drive her to the hospital.
Ditto my dad.
Or anyone else at this moment in time,

Well i could but but i would be breaking the law and risking my life and others.

If I could stop drinking WOMO I would be very happy!!!

skintscottishgirl

Or maybe nor drink for potentially the good of eveyone around me? Is the way forward??

But smashed now so in no position to make decisions

yellowmonkey

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beachbeth

treepotato1 wrote: »

i definitely would view fizzy pop as having so many calories anyway that it would serve me better with some bevy in it, or being replaced by fizzy alcohol......Why have all those calories for nothing???

I would drink fresh and diluting juices rather than fizzy ones. There is also iced tea and other things with less calories to drink....I don't drink much juice though.

I have had fruit juices give me stomach aches in the past (I think its the acid in them) so I tend to avoid these. Plus I only tend to drink diet pop, so hardly any calories there! Its the alcohol that gives me the calories.

beachbeth

treepotato1 wrote: »

To be honest i hope they get put out early :eek: to encourage the commentators to talk about the other teams more instead of making every single game/team/player about England or how they're connected to England. It's horrible to be a supporter of another team, football in general or the World Cup and live in the UK. Whenever England aren't playing the teams may as well be called Not England and Not England. :mad:

Can I just say - wouldn't this be the case in any country that is taking part in the world cup? I bet if you went to any of the home countries of any of the teams that this would be the case.

As an English person myself, I feel as though English people are always frowned upon whenever behaving in any patriotic way. If I was abroad on holiday and sporting an English flag people would assume I was a football hooligan (though not if they actually saw me - a petite lady!). Yet I often see Welsh flags around the pool area and this is ok?

Don't get me wrong - I can't stand football - but this is the one time that England is allowed to get together, wave flags and behave in a patriotic "we love England" kind of way!

PS. If we weren't in the World Cup and Scotland or Wales was, I would definitely be routing for Scotland/Wales at each of their matches!!! (In 1978 when Scotland were in the World Cup, England were definitely cheering their "comrades" on, believe me!)

newroadahead

treepotato1 wrote: »

I am THIS close to getting on me bike and going to buy drink...... *sob* This was one stressful day.

Hope you're all faring better than I am today....

Just wanted to send a :grouphug:. You have been so understanding to others on this thread when we have had bad days.

Hope you start to feel better soon.

NRA xx

69chick

yellowmonkey wrote: »

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Am with you YM