The cutting out/cutting down alcohol thread (part 7)

graemecarter

treepotato1 wrote: »

Hmmm...this is where you and I may differ in our views although i fully respect yours and see that they have served you very well :j

I believe that people who stop drinking have actively chosen to stop drinking and actively stay stopped. This is what will power is and does, for me. When we were stil drinking, our will power was not strong enough to stop us...when it gets strong enough, or is reinforced by another motivation, it works for us.

If we accept full responsibility for our drinking then why are we not also responsible for our recovery and able to take credit for it, rather than crediting a higher or other power? It wasn't a higher power that made us drink! This aspect of the AA philosophy reminds me of how God only ever does good things - all the bad things that happen are done by us and our free will! Of course AA has a religious basis...

I agree that many people can't do it entirely by themselves but I also believe that when they do it, they do it, just with some support.

Good post - there are of course paradoxes and things that don't make sense. However, I just look at my own experience and it is obvious that something works. I cannot explain it, but I don't have to. As long as it works, then I just continue doing it.
I tried for years with will power (and I had all the will power in the world when I wanted a drink) and it never worked for me. Though I wouldn't say I am 'weak-willed' around alcohol. I'd say I am alcoholic.
I don't think everyone who posts here is not lacking enough will power. I think it is more complicated than that.
I am not religious by the way - in fact I am pretty anti-religion.

However, what works for one will not necessarily work for someone else. I am fascinated to hear about other methods to stop drinking.

yellowmonkey

treepotato1 wrote: »

To be honest i hope they get put out early :eek: to encourage the commentators to talk about the other teams more instead of making every single game/team/player about England or how they're connected to England. It's horrible to be a supporter of another team, football in general or the World Cup and live in the UK. Whenever England aren't playing the teams may as well be called Not England and Not England. :mad:



I want The Netherlands to win. :j

Engerlaaanndd !!!!!!. Cant wait for the footie

Something about the World Cup. I had the opportunity to go to France 98. Had no ticket but the atmosphere and camping and meeting loads of other people and characters was great. Going to down town Marseille on match day with 40,000 fans all in red and white is a day I will never forget. Had to get out in a hurry mind when the fighting started but thats a whole new different story.

I am a cutter downer but I am trying to see how long I can go without. I only really drink indoors so if I stop buying them and have none in the house then I wont drink so much.

Also Lost 4lbs this week. Just cut out crisps and chocolate and snacking on fruit seems to work.

Have a good one all

yellowmonkey

Thanks tp1...Also my wallet has gained a few £'S

newroadahead

Good morning All

Miss P Hope you are feeling better and that piglet is ok now:)

Well as you know I was very bad last night and woke up at 5.30 feeling blurh:(

But now Im up , had a shower, read the post on here...Thank you everyone:A and have decided that this house really needs a good clean up.

Has been raining heavily most of the night so dont think I will venture out which should give me more incentive to get the place looking better.

Hope you all have a good day.

NRA xxx

skintscottishgirl

graemecarter wrote: »

I know what you mean. I wouldn't intend to drink, and then a little later I would have a drink in my hand! That did pi55 me off a bit, and then I felt guilty, ashamed, and a little out of control. Which in turn made me drink more to escape those feelings.

Stopping drinking is not easy, and for many people it requires a lot of support. There is no right solution for everyone. It has to be found by the individual.
On the whole, people stop looking for a solution when they have found one that works. I know what works for me today, but couldn't say what would work for you or anyone else.
Explore all avenues. Try not to give up.

One has to want it enough to stop. If one's heart is not in it and one is not ready, then it's a waste of time.

Thanks Greame your words of wisdom are so relevant and true, i know i have to sort this and i will

skintscottishgirl

treepotato1 wrote: »

awww bless you hen - to be honest I have no idea how I'm not posting the same thing this morning. i was even thinking about how i could get a drink after midnight because I was too excited to sleep...so I really hear you.

No need to apologise. All we can do when we slip is bum along till we can get back on our feet and carry on the good fight, eh? All is definitely not lost. We can really only do this one minute/hour/day at a time and all you've lost is one of those days.

I know it feels awful though. But maybe instead of us beating ourselves up when we have a bad day we should try to focus on the days we have managed to stop/cut down?

I know that had I given in last night i would be SO SO angry and disgusted at myself and would be thinking "well that's everything down the toilet I'm only 8 days AF instead of 9, what a f***ing complete failure"...But I have a choice (and this is something I am only just learning to accept) to look at it differently. I could think "well it is bloody hard and I HAVE managed to stay AF for 8 days out of the last 9 and I am going to jump right back on the wagon and this is the best i can do as a daft human"!

Then i would go right back to beating up on myself!....but me changing my negative thinking patterns is a long-term thing and I am a work in progress.

You ask what is wrong with you, skintscottishgirl. Since I 'met' you, I've only been thinking what's right with you. You're here, you're trying hard and you're supporting others doing the same. That goes a LONG way for me. :T
Be kind to yourself.

I am that !!!!ed off once again. What is wrong with me and why can't i sort it out??

Sorry

I am smashed again and it's through the day but therebyoungo. If ni could get away from drinking on my own what avictory that would be!!!!

skintscottishgirl

Hi All

I have been reading through previous posts and it strilkes me that we are all just being totally selfish. If you put your desire for drink over your colleagues/friends/family etc you are being selfish. Maybe i and others are being selfish but we can't seem to help ourselves. Is that the whole problem. I might be selfish but i genuinely don't think i am a bad person.

skintscottishgirl

And by the way how can i possibly be an alkie when i can speell so good LOL
That's spell!!!:rotfl:Amloving these icons

gwingwyn

hey y'all, i'm in AA and i for one am glad i found it. i know some people don't like it, but i've been going to meetings a while now and i'm generally a smiley sort - if a little bit in debt!

so - i'm 6 and a half years clean and sober and it's a good life. oh and i don't believe in God, I don't go to church and I use, well - I suppose it's a sort of moral psychology as my basis for understanding the Higher Power bit. Of course there are lots of people that do believe and that's cool. AA doesn't amend the literature much, especially not the steps or the main books, so you got to bear in mind that the God stuff was written into the program in the US in the 1930s, a pretty religious time - they had a hard time convincing the original authors to even put ' a god of your understanding' in - because some of the founding members were so religious. But a bunch weren't and realised that you've just got to change the way you think, so they asked for 'Higher Power' / 'God of your understanding' to be used instead.

Ultimately it's a self-help program, you go to meetings, you get someone to tell you what they did, but you follow the program yourself and interpret it your way, you stick with people from AA that you want to be around, cos there's hundreds of groups and types and sorts in there.

I was desperate to stop drinking and wrecking the lives of everyone around me, and quite selfishly, of being so morosely depressed all the time at the shabby state of my life, I was hideously boring to be around. All my cold, anxious, morose desperation forced me use my noggin to find a way to interpret the God / Higher Power aspect in a way that worked for me, and it's given me access to a new way to live. It's also a voluntary thing, you stick around to share how you got sober to help other people out, kind of like these forums I guess! And attending regular meetings reminds me that I could never, and will never drink safely, but, and this is the most important on for me - meetings also remind me (which I can forget when I go about my daily business) that life is precious and best experienced without any anaesthetic, despite the intensity of emotional experiences, and that there is always a way to work through what's going on. And finally, it's really freaking nice that a group of virtual strangers want to help each other, and no matter where I go in the world, people hang out together to keep each other sober and live (not just cope with) their life - it's a beautiful community.

If you want to know what it is like there are open meetings that anyone can attend. Every meeting is different and for me I had to find a small group of people that I lliked and admired best, I stick with those guys and we have a pretty good time

I am not a representative or spokesperson for Alcoholics Anonymous, this is my personal view and experience and I just wanted to share it with you. It might help some and to anyone who isn't interested, don't mind me

have a lovely sober day and good luck to all who are cutting down and stopping, however you are doing it.

Gwi x

gwingwyn

love this quote from Graeme, so true:

graemecarter wrote: »

Stopping drinking is not easy, and for many people it requires a lot of support. There is no right solution for everyone. It has to be found by the individual.
On the whole, people stop looking for a solution when they have found one that works. I know what works for me today, but couldn't say what would work for you or anyone else.
Explore all avenues. Try not to give up.

One has to want it enough to stop. If one's heart is not in it and one is not ready, then it's a waste of time.