MSE Parents Club Part 12

weezl74

aless02 wrote: »

Fitzio, fab news! Does anyone recall who far in advance I need to make a flexi hours request?

can take up to 14 weeks but that's rare

and now you must give me the lemony stuffing recipe you made-I've lost it again and I need a photo:o:D

tiamai_d

weezl74 wrote: »

was the knowing why scary because you didn't know if it would happen again, or was it the reminder of exactly how very bad things could've been for both of you, or another thing I'm being thick and not getting?

ignore question if too private

Initially, getting over the birth was bad. I didn't get over it and the first year was horrid. Then at 8 months we were told he had some degree of brain damage, which was hard but deep down I knew that we couldn't have been that lucky to get out of it unscathed. At the time there was no explanation of why I had the abruption, as well as the fact that I knew there was something wrong for 8 hours and didn't do enough to get someone to listen. In my head there has always been that thought that if I had been a stronger person and demanded they check his heart rate he would be fine.

The reason I now don't want to know exactly why is that it could be that the brain damage happened in say, the second trimester. If I was told that and they were sure, it would kill me to know that it happened when he was supposed to be growing within me, as well as meaning that I went through that horrible thing as well.

Kind of kick me while I'm down, I failed in this way and also I failed in that way too?

From what I now know and beleive, I was failed the day he was born because when I told several people how I felt, someone should have picked it up as classic signs of a hidden abruption. The abruption was caused by me being put on too high a dose of anti hypertensives that meant my BP came down too far too quickly, then the dose was altered so it went back up again. So it wasn't my fault. It was a combination of mismanagement and bad luck. I have came to terms with that after 5 years, now if I were to be told it was something else, I would have to get over that too, and feel guilty for wasting 5 years thinking about it!

(I know, I'm well messed up)

tarajayne wrote: »

For me, sorry to butt in , was because it might have been my fault and that's scary!

How are you all?

Tia, thanks for your comments last night, was stoopid to get upset as it could be sorted, just had a very bad day, it happens.

(((hugs))) what shoes were they? We need to see!

jillie1974

tiamai_d wrote: »

Oh, I got a letter from my morgage company, they want rid of us. They have offered us, £4'000 off the amount we need to repay the morgage and no fees for moving elsewhere!

ooh nice one.

we'd be screwed if ours did that. with the DMP no-one would give us a mortgage.

not northern rock is it??

tarajayne

Doesn't matter Tia, really not important!

tiamai_d

tarajayne wrote: »

Sounds good to me , could you get another, how much equity do you have?

Between none and £5000 depending on who you talk too.

weezl74 wrote: »

eh?

that's amazing! go for it! firstdirect have one at 1.89% above base rate :money:

I'm going to go speak to the mortgage adviser next week and see what he says. He did say that they wanted rid of us, we were with a company who went bust, they bought us over but they don't do long term loans, they now want their money back.

Jillie, it's JP Moragn. Thing is, they can't force us to switch, because we are still paying them, they are just trying to get us to choose to switch, and since they can't up our rates or anything, they are offering incentives.

angelfairy

hi everyone :wave:

oh weezl... i keep missing you when you are on.

where does the lunch hour go??? had intended to chat on here for a bit but all my time has gone.

off to look at the teething anklet glam recommended as LO had her funny 1.5hrs at 3.30am and i think it's teeth related as her side gums look full and i think we have a small break through with another front bottom.

xx

tarajayne

But the Halifax reckons house prices have gone up over 10% in the last year, that must help. What % is that equity?

Krystaltips

I'm Northern Rock Jillie... I'm hoping they never want their money back off me, I don't have a hope in wotsits chance of getting a mortgage elsewhere seeing as I don't have a job!

Millie's_Mum

Good luck Ladybird, and Congrats Fitzio sounds fab!

Gonna put on fairy exchange (but i find things tend to get missed on there) a sealed pack of 2 medium flow teats, they are asda's own but fit avent bottles. free to whoever wants them.

angelfairy

ladybirdintheuk wrote: »

Fizio that is great news

and I'm loving the pictures.

I'm just off to do a quick wardrobe change, and head off to my interview, but I first of all have to tell you the very important news - Izzy has grown out of her first shoes ... but she has some new ones Proper big girls black patent leather mary-jane type shoes, with a butterfly on the toes. She looks everso grown up in them. I'm glad she is big enough to wear black shoes too - nothing will clash with them! She hates having her feet measured, so the sales assistant just went up from the size she is now, and we tried a few pairs till we worked out what she needed. For someone who loves shoes as much as Izzy, it is a bit inconvenient for her to be scared of the sales assistants, but never mind, I'm sure it will pass! (it's funny though, as she is so friendly with most strangers - it is only the shoe shop and the doctors that she isn't... I need that shrugging icon back.)

Anyway, must go get changed and out the door. Wish me luck!

good luck

we have those shoes