When should children start pre-school?

Spikey_2

Best advise... Research Research Research and don't forget to listen to the child as he/she will give you all the answers you need.

Spikey

Spendless

Hi purplepatch

I've been thinking - one thing we've not asked you about is if you have any or enough 'me time'

For various reasons i get little family help, have a husband who works long hours, is often away overnight (including abroad).So i do enjoy any time i get on my own to do chores or even run myself a bubble bath.

Best wishes - keep us posted.

purplepatch

Spendless wrote:

Hi purplepatch

I've been thinking - one thing we've not asked you about is if you have any or enough 'me time'

For various reasons i get little family help, have a husband who works long hours, is often away overnight (including abroad).So i do enjoy any time i get on my own to do chores or even run myself a bubble bath.

Best wishes - keep us posted.

Interesting you should ask that spendless. Honest answer to how much me time I have is "none whatsoever" at the moment.

However, now we have got to a point where daytime naps have been knocked on the head, the plan is that her grandparents will have her for one afternoon a week, so that is shortly to change .

Not that I don't love being with her, but you know how it is I'm sure!

Spendless

purplepatch wrote:

Not that I don't love being with her, but you know how it is I'm sure!

I most certainly do as my own daughter will also be 2 in March. Naps are becoming hit and miss here. No nap yesterday but is asleep now.

Don't forget yourself then when deciding what to do.

Best wishes

purplepatch

Spendless wrote:

I most certainly do as my own daughter will also be 2 in March. Naps are becoming hit and miss here. No nap yesterday but is asleep now.

Don't forget yourself then when deciding what to do.

Best wishes

She could probably do with the occasional nap, but bedtime is becoming a bit of a trial lately so better for her to be too tired than not sleepy at all!

Thanks for all your advice spendless

jellyhead

as part of a course the school is running we were in the reception classroom this afternoon to observe their literacy hour. most of the boys couldn't sit still and one boy even fell asleep twice! he kept getting on all fours and putting his head on the floor, poor little thing lol! the teacher didn't comment on it, if probably happens every day. he was so tired he could barely walk across the room. we were discussing it afterwards, how most of the girls were alert and interested but most of the boys were fidgeting, rocking and playing with their clothes. the boys were told off constantly, none of the girls were told off at all. the SENCO agrees that the sex of a child usually makes a difference, as does their age. one thing i noticed was that most girls were enjoying being at school, regardless of their academic ability they just liked being there, answering questions, etc. and enjoyed the lesson.

so a little girl might be ready for pre-school earlier than a boy although obviously every child is different. when my boy went to a pre-school nursery thing he only went twice a week, i think that was enough for him. you could always try one session per week and build it up to more sessions if she enjoys it.

chloe99_2

hello purplepatch

My son grew out of his naps at aged 3 as well but DO NOT DESPAIR!!!!!

I needed some time out in the day as I was too exhaused to stay up in the evening for "me time" so, I hatched a cunning plan!!

Basically, I continued to send him to his room for a rest instead. And I can tell you he really loves this time. I feel like I am giving him a gift, HE enjoys this time out and has learned to enjoy his own company - he is so refreshed when I tell him he can come down again. PLUS I feel much better and ready for the rest of the day. He doesn't actually rest in the way that we would, but he has time to himself, he sings the whole time, looks at his books, does jigsaws, plays teddies, farms, trains etc.

I starting out with a rest of just 10 minutes (as you've got to persuade them to stay in their room) - with a big treat if he stayed in there for the 10 minutes. I also used a kitchen timer so he could see the thing counting down and when it went off he'd grab it and run downstairs to me. This all took a little patience but it was sorted in less than 2 weeks - we gradually went from 10 minutes up to one hour (kitchen timer only had 60 minutes!!) - then I got a £1.99 alarm clock and set that for his getting up time (whatever time of day he went for his rest, I'd adjust the clock time so that the alarm would go off when the clock showed 3.00pm - this helped him understand how long there was left as he obviously can't tell the time) . Now I can leave him for 1.5 to 2.5 hours (depending on what suits me) with no problem.

Lastly, about the preschool - I wouldn't worry. The fact that you've asked the questions on here tells me that there's nothing your child will learn from preschool at this age that she won't learn by your side. So send her when YOU are ready to send her. Remember too that with a March birthday, even if you send her when she is 3 she'll get 1 year and 1 term in preschool, or if you left it til after the summer holidays she would have a full year, which really is plenty of time to prepare small children for the school environment.

Sorry so long - I think I got a bit carried away!

purplepatch

jellyhead wrote:

so a little girl might be ready for pre-school earlier than a boy although obviously every child is different. when my boy went to a pre-school nursery thing he only went twice a week, i think that was enough for him. you could always try one session per week and build it up to more sessions if she enjoys it.

That's interesting jellyhead, that girls seem to cope with it better. I'm reasonably confident that she would cope fine with it, its just me that feels reluctant to let go! LOL

chloe99 wrote:

Basically, I continued to send him to his room for a rest instead. And I can tell you he really loves this time. I feel like I am giving him a gift, HE enjoys this time out and has learned to enjoy his own company - he is so refreshed when I tell him he can come down again. PLUS I feel much better and ready for the rest of the day. He doesn't actually rest in the way that we would, but he has time to himself, he sings the whole time, looks at his books, does jigsaws, plays teddies, farms, trains etc.

What a great idea chloe. Will give that a go as she enjoys her own company to a degree, starting to get really absorbed by certain toys etc. I will certainly give it a go.

Also thanks for the vote of confidence that she will be ok whenever she goes to pre-school. Like you say, even a year and a term is sufficient time to prepare for school. We go to weekly music classes and see friends with kids, go swimming regularly, do drawing/painting/reading etc etc etc so I don't think she's missing out on too much

stardoman

"Also thanks for the vote of confidence that she will be ok whenever she goes to pre-school. Like you say, even a year and a term is sufficient time to prepare for school. We go to weekly music classes and see friends with kids, go swimming regularly, do drawing/painting/reading etc etc etc so I don't think she's missing out on too much."


She's not missing out on anything. My second child was 4 in October and starts reception next September. I felt under a lot of pressure from friends to sent him to nursery. This pressure started when he was just 9 months old. I got told he was missing out because their children did lots of activities at nursery - well we do lots of activities together too. The pressure became stronger as he got older. I was told that I'd have terrible problems in getting him to nursery because he had rarely been separated from me. TBH, all these comments did make me worry. This was partly due to the frequency of the comments and partly due to the number of people who made them to me. As a SAHP, I didn't have the money to send my child to nursery and on top of that, I was SAHP because I wanted to be with my child. I feel as though I missed out on a lot with my first child as I worked long, full time hours from when he was 8 months until he was 2 years 8 months. I didn't want to miss out on my second child too.

The week of As 3rd birthday, I started to send him to the school nursery for just 1 afternoon a week. Everyone predicted that he would scream his head off and I was very worried. In the event, he ran in without a backward glance and I was left at the door shouting "Bye". My older child who was in nursery from 8 months cried the first few times and had a really bad spell at school in his reception year where he cried every morning when I left and then continued crying periodically throughout the day until hometime. He seems far more insecure than my younger child. So IME, just because you leave your child young does not mean there won't be problems later. And just because you keep your child with you longer doesn't mean you'll have problems in getting them to go to school. Its more complicated than that.

Good luck with whatever you decide. Do whatever feels right for you.

Mandy.

stardoman

"Just as a matter of interest - what toys are in your nursery that would be considered unsuitable for a child under 36 months?"

Any which you buy which are labelled as 3+. Also things like scissors, glitter etc. Although these can be used with younger children under close supervision this can be difficult when there is 1 adult to 4 children. So in a parent and toddler group where the parent is responsible for their own child, toys labelled as 3+, scissors etc. can still be used. But in a nursery, if a younger child was to hurt themselves with scissors or swallow a wheel from a toy car the nursery would be held responsible.

Chunky toys, play kitchens, food etc. are all fine, but by 3 plus to aid the development of those children, you would want to introduce toys / puzzles etc. with smaller parts. One of the areas early years workers are supposed to develop with pre-school children is the fine motor skills as they are needed for tasks such as writing later on.

My son's nursery is in a small room and there isn't the space to have one area for under 3s and one for over 3s. Bigger places could have separate rooms.

Mandy.