Splitting up - Help

74jax

Pinkfairywings wrote: »

Thanks for all the advice.

74jax - stupidly I have splept with him since the break up as he said he wanted to try again, I understand my stupidity for believing this and it wont be happening again!

Reading between the lines I thought so, I can totally understand you wanting to go over there and telling her this too! You will have moments of weakness, he's the one who called it a day - not you. you can't just switch feelings on and off.

Do you have anyone at work you are close to? maybe you could talk over lunch or arrange a drink after work? now might be a good time to look at a wider circle of friends, I don't mean NOW as in this second, but when you feel better. Join a gym, a night class etc and meet people who don't know you as half a couple.

You are being very brave by sharing a house, you are bound to feel this way. You can move on though but it will take time.

That's what this site is for, never feel you're all alone.

neneromanova

Now I don't know what you look like or anything like that, but is there any way you can join a gym (mainly to meet friends) but also to start looking after yourself. Maybe wear makeup and show him what he's missing as after 3 years I'm guessing things have started to get same old same old as it does with any relationship. But this is only if you want him back.

If you think that hey, he's left me once when he was talking about marraige and a holiday then he could do it again and what happens down the line when we start having kids and he gets "scared". Then you're probably better off walking away and saying bye bye thanks for the good times.

Pinkfairywings

Thanks again for all your kind replies, makes me feel I'm not going insane!

I know I have to stop doing things for him, I have been doing his shopping and washing etc and I know it must stop!

I am going to try and get out there! I have just joined a gym as like neneromanova says I have let things go a bit and although I dont want him back now as I could never trust him, I want to make sure he sees what he is missing out on!

74jax - you are right I am not quite ready to start going out to classes/night college etc but I am looking in to it as I really need to get out there and find some company/ support that is in no way related to 'us'! My work friends are being amazingly supportive but have never suggested going out, but I might bite the bullet and see if a couple want to go for coffee or something, I have nothing to lose

Thanks again, its so nice to feel I have some support!:T

neneromanova

What you have to do is think, when he comes crawling back to you, just think to yourself "Do I really want to show him I am this kind of woman who will be walked on? No! I am stronger than this and someone who actually wants to spend his life and time with me is just around the corner"

Person_one

Pinkfairywings wrote: »

Thanks again for all your kind replies, makes me feel I'm not going insane!

I know I have to stop doing things for him, I have been doing his shopping and washing etc and I know it must stop!

I am going to try and get out there! I have just joined a gym as like neneromanova says I have let things go a bit and although I dont want him back now as I could never trust him, I want to make sure he sees what he is missing out on!

74jax - you are right I am not quite ready to start going out to classes/night college etc but I am looking in to it as I really need to get out there and find some company/ support that is in no way related to 'us'! My work friends are being amazingly supportive but have never suggested going out, but I might bite the bullet and see if a couple want to go for coffee or something, I have nothing to lose

Thanks again, its so nice to feel I have some support!:T

Go you! That's a much better attitude to have than trying to win him back. He doesn't deserve for you to be spending any energy or time on him anymore.

Take the plunge and invite your workmates out if you get on with him, you never know it could be the start of a whole new social circle!

emsywoo123

What a total toss pot. Can I say that on here?! :eek:
(Yikes let me know if I cannot and I will edit. )
You, lady, are a hero in my eyes.
No further advice than what is on here, but felt the need to post

WORCSLASS

Hope you are okay and feeling a little better with the replies you have had on here, my heart go's out to you, what an awful person to treat you like that. When my ex split up with me out of the blue, i had my time out where i cried and cried and then eventually pulled my self together and got my life back on track, we worked in the same office to make matters worse but the very first day that i knew i would see him i got up extra early, did myself up to the nines, dressed amazingly and walked into that office with my head held high (stomach in too!!) and boy did he feel it!!!
My point is that only you can make yourself feel good and better, its still early days so dont run before you can walk but you will get through this and you sill see how much better off you will be without him in your life. Promise you!

Chin up and think positive hon xx

Rachel85

One of my favourite sayings ever is "if a another woman takes your man, the best revenge you can get is to let her keep him".

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Sounds like he's been 'friends' with her for ages on the side and she's got a bit possessive, probably threatened to tell you if he didn't first. Or someone else has found them out and had a word with him.

I suggest you get tested for the standard STDs people like this have a habit of sharing around with the unsuspecting partners.

fluffmagnet

Rachel85 wrote: »

One of my favourite sayings ever is "if a another woman takes your man, the best revenge you can get is to let her keep him".

I think this is my new favourite saying too now (& so true!;))

Pinkfairywings - hugs what a dirtbag! the advice on here is spot on. Keep your chin up and take every day as it comes.
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