Am I being cruel?

Queen.Bess

You are absolutely correct in what you did! Kids nowadays grow up thinking that if they make enough fuss and noise they'll be given what they want and so become very spoilt. And as you say your daughter was perfectly happy with what she got for £5.

I wish more parents were like you and your husband in teaching their children the value of things!

gerretl

Hi heres my hap'worth.
Look at the flip side of the situation. They are looking at a man who is strong enough to say "No, we just don't have the resources to get you the toys". It would not surprise me if there was a little amount of jealousy that they hadn't done the same years ago, and now it is too late to stop. They are up to their eyeballs in debt in the bank, and crappy unused toys in their house.
Good on you. This will teach her that, not only are there a limited amount of things you can have, but there is a limit to what you actually need.

duncans-mum_2

I agree with everyone else, you and your husband are wonderful to bring up your child in this way. Hopefully when she is in her late teens, early twenties, she will not be tearing her hair out with the stress of not having enough money to pay her bills and clear her debt that spirals out of control, saying "if only my parents tought me the value of money", she will have grown up knowing the value of money in a sensible way. It would be cruel if you gave in !!!!!!

LookingAhead

Not cruel at all. Good for you.

I wish there were more parents like you out there!

earwig

if you couldnt aford to buy it then you were being honest my kids get thing allyear round but they only get one xmas pressant and one birthday presant around 25.00 as they get thing form other famley members and end up with so much they dont even notice what they have got but in aprill they was really made up with their new roller blades and they have played with them lots so if feeling guilty is about not let her her have the car try it the way i do it then they can have treats allyear round instead of 100 pounds twice a year on birthdays and christmas

Let_Robinson_Sing

milliejon wrote:

My hubby took my little girl shopping yesterday - she's 3 years old.

It was a treat day, and she had £5 to spend. He took her into the toy shop and let her loose. She inevitably picked up more expensive things, but Daddy explained to her why should couldn't have them. She was happy when she left the shop with a huge bag of toy soldiers, cars, an aeroplane and a play mat.

However, when my hubby was explaining that she only had £5 and couldn't afford a £30 remote control car, he was looked up and down by other parents as if he was really cruel.

I believe that my kids should understand that they can't have everything they want, and that they should understand the value of money.

Are we cruel?

Hell No. I personally think you are great parents. You are teaching your child the value of money. My parents were like to me when i was a young fellow. If Children are brought up that they can have everything they want might live beyond their means and end up in debt.

If those parents are looking down upon your OH, thats just sanctamonious and if I was your OH i'd tell them where to go

jen30_2

I don't think your cruel - I agree with you 100%. I have 3 small children and have started to explain to them that they can't have everything they want because we can't afford it. My kids love going around car boot sales and getting things they want for a fraction of what they would have cost in a store. It doesn't matter to them that it's not brand new - it's new to them.

Stick to your guns, your child will thank you for it when they are older.

Bargain_Rzl

I was brought up in a family that had enough, but no more (working dad, SAHM, big mortgage) ... We got bought things only at birthdays and Christmas, and all other toys and books, and the majority of our clothes, were hand-me-downs from my granny's neighbour's kids who were slightly older ... My mum reminded me recently of the time when I was about 4 and I went into playgroup wearing a new dress my mum had made for me, which I was really proud of ... The playgroup leader said to her "It's so nice to see a child who appreciates having new things" ... This would have been in 1982 and I think it's even more unusual these days, as credit is cheap and so many parents think nothing of showering their children with material things ... Your OH did exactly the right thing, and your DD will appreciate both what she has bought and what she has learnt

BestFootForward_2

Not cruel at all. Just teaching your kids a bit of reality.Kids don't need expensive things. They just think they do from all the marketing that gets bombarded at them.My attitude has changed so much from being here, that I now think it's sad that we all buy into "must have" that the media and corporation want us to buy into.I feel a rant coming on so I'll stop now...

kwisstan

I always tell my kids (3&5) whether or not we could afford stuff. if you are being cruel then I definitely must be as I tell them "we can't have that as we don't have the money"

As far as I'm concerned they are happy and it's easier about being honest if you are honest with them.