Am I being cruel?

lynsayjane

i'm just amazed that she didn't throw a tantrum when dad explained she couldnt have it! well done you on raising a little star!

Murtle

I used to work in a sweet shop and one day a child came in with her Daddy, she had been given about 30p to buy sweets for her and her sibling. When she asked Daddy if she could have a big chocolate bar, it was explained to that if she had that, then she couldn't get anything for her sibling. The child then looked at the penny sweets and said if I get those then we can both share can't we......sorry for going on, but your situation reminded me of this and I thought it was a great example of teaching children to appreciate what they have, unlike the little blighters that used to come in with £5 sent over from the pub by their parents as they were causing them to much bother! I want, I want, I want.....no I don't blame the child, the parents had a lot to answer for......

no1gymbunny

I completely agree. My partner has an 8 year old son from a previous relationship who is spoilt rotten by his mum and stepdad who run a business, own several cars, houses, etc. Yet my partner and I have only just been able to scrape together to buy our modest starter home. Whenever we have his son over he's always got the latest PS2 or whatever they are and wants to know why we can't take him to amazing places every time we see him. I think it's important that children understand the value of money. Hopefully it's not too late for my partner's son.

Please don't think you are being cruel. If anything, the moneybags parents are being cruel getting them used to the finer things in life. How will their kids understand the importance of earning money rather just being spoilt?

seven-day-weekend

milliejon wrote:

seven-day-weekend that's a brilliant idea! My kids were born on 1st and 9th of January - mmmm could I be that bad?

Me, my husband and our son are ALL in January!:rotfl:

violetb_2

There is a great article in this week's obeserver online about the effect of bringing up kids with too many activities and too much materialism. I think you are right, but maybe the other parents weren't watching with regard to the money - often other parents are fascinated by how others deal with such situations - it sounds as though your OH was being a firm but loving parent so maybe the other parents were looking on to see how they could follow suit.

Chrismojam

I agree with what everyone else has said......you both did good!

I'm sure the other parents were a bit envious really.........if only they could 'get away' with not spending so much!

I grew up getting very little in the way of pressies...never got pocket money off parents (couldn't afford it)..used to get 20p a week off my nan (don't laugh this wasn't that long ago....am only 32 now)...which I used to save up to buy christmas presents for everyone else (albeit from the 50p shop)

I knew never to complain or whinge about what I couldn't have....what would have been the point? The money simply wasn't there anyway.....to be honest.....I cannot remember anything that I ever really wanted anyway...

Turtle

Yes, I totally agree. I was always encouraged to save as a child. When I was about 11 or 12 my dad showed us his pay slip, explained about tax (in easy words), mortgages , bills etc. He used to grow plants which he sold at the garden gate, I helped with the money, working out change etc which paid for our 1 week annual holiday at Butlins. I've always grown up knowing the value of money and am constantly disgusted at the attitudes of the kids who grow up with everything and will not have a clue about the value of money when its time to stand on their own two feet.

Imelda

I think you have definitely done the right thing. I used to be the odd one out of all my friends, only got new clothes and toys on my birthday and christmas. When I was a teenager I had to jobs around the house to earn pocket money and then when I was old enough I worked in a restaurant at weekends. From this weekend work I gave my mum £10 "rent" (although I was given £1000 cheque when I went to uni), had to buy all my school uniform, shoes and pay for anything else I wanted. Although I have recently got into debt I think it has stood me in good stead for my adult life and wouldn't change a thing.

isgman

No you are not cruel, it's a good thing for kids find out that "money" does not grow on trees, it will do them no harm and will in the end teach them the "value" of the £

apples1

I think if you take a firm parenting stand on anything in public that other parents close by will not help themselves from listening and/or watching. I don't think it necessarily means they don't agree with what you are doing or saying just that they are interested in the situation.

For the record I totally agree with what you did but I'm not sure your husband's interpretation of the situation was spot on. If he dealt with it well then he should be proud to think that he will have given some of those parents in the shop some good tips!