Am I being cruel?

Graham_Devon

I haven't got kids, but it must be so hard to say no to something that they like. However, I used to get taken every month to buy a computer game from a second hand shop (back in the day's of the commodores!). I was so happy as a kid and looked forward to going shopping. It was either that computer game or lego, remember it now! Second hand meant I couldnt have the brand new one others were going on about....would get it after they had had it!

Anyway, I never got the bigger stuff other kids were getting, this was in the eighties. I've grown up and around me are two types of friends. On one side, i have a mate who's exactly the same as me, was bought up the same as me, had a job at the age of 14, same as me, paper round paying 7 quid a week for 6 days work! Anyway. On the other side, theres 2 who had everything given to them. To this day, they are still getting everything given to them. Ones just had his first house bought for him by his mum and dad (they took the mortgage out for him) and he pays them £200 rent a month. In the end, it will be his anyway, aswell as his mum and dads house. They also just paid off his 25k student loan as they felt it wasn't fair on him and he should enjoy life while young. The actual mortgage is costing them £900 a month.

Difference is, me and my mate work for everything we got, we haven't got as far as him in terms of cars and furnishings, but bought everything we own and worked for it. We understand that we can't just 'have'. If the other friends want something they go to mum and dad. If I want something, I work for it.

So, what's this mean? It means we have learnt DIY skills, mechanic skills, we look after everything we have got. If he needs a hand, we work together to sort it out, same with me. If I asked the other two to give me a hand with the car or if they could give me a hand painting the outside of the house they would laugh wondering why on eart I'm doing it myself.

Both of us who work for everything take great pride in looking after, waxing etc our older (compared to their newer) cars. The other two, newer cars, dent's, filthy and couldnt give a damn if the engine has the correct fluids in it.

So think your child will grow up with a much better understanding of what materialistic stuff actually means - not much.

milliejon

seven-day-weekend that's a brilliant idea! My kids were born on 1st and 9th of January - mmmm could I be that bad?

C_Ronaldo

no your not cruel, its better that you teach her the importance of money, it can pay off later in life as opposed to spoiling her rotten

spud30

Good on you.

My two kids are now having to learn the value of money, and dont like it very much.

I wish I had done as you are doing years ago :beer:

overbudget

Not cruel at all. Not only will she learn how to budget but I bet she'll have a lot more fun with her collection than she would've done with a remote control car! After all - there is only so much you can do with a remote control car - and all sorts of different games with those different toys! I bet she'll grow up not only to be good with money but will have loads of imagination too!

chevalier

I do not think you are cruel at all. One of my main rules in life is that I don't go into toy stores with the children all that often. I have a friend who virtually every time they go shopping, their child gets a treat. The consequence is that though we parents are friends, their child doesn't want to come to our house, because it doesn't have mountains of toys in it. And this one child really does have enough toys to equip a day nursery.

So well done you are doing fine
chev

annie-c

I think it is 'cruel' to bring kids up in the belief that they can have everything they ask for... there is a real world out there that they will have to be a part of one day, whether they throw a tantrum or not - and the sooner you prepare them for it the better....

You taught your daughter a valuable lesson and she was happy with the outcome.... gold stars all round, I say!

Sweet_Pea_2

I have learnt that my two get as much pleasure from cheaper things as they do from more expensive ones.
Also you are teaching your daughter a very valuable skill in being frugal and stretching her pocket money, one that will stay with her into adulthood if you keep it up.
I think that if kids get everything they want fairly easily then they believe as they go into adulthood that they should still have what they want, which is where problems with debts and credit cards come in.
Well done!

newleafer

No you are not cruel.

Stick to your guns.

And blow what other parents think.

:T

LittleL_4

Absolutely not!!!!!!

I read somewhere once that spoiling your child rotten is a form of abuse!

They need to learn the value of money (although it's taken me until 36!).

When I was growing up we had pocket money and when it was spent then there was no more. If we wanted more then we had to earn it. We also had one night per week when we were aloud sweets and crisps.

It did'nt do me any harm other than appreciate things alot more.

L
xx