Am I being cruel?

milliejon

My hubby took my little girl shopping yesterday - she's 3 years old.

It was a treat day, and she had £5 to spend. He took her into the toy shop and let her loose. She inevitably picked up more expensive things, but Daddy explained to her why should couldn't have them. She was happy when she left the shop with a huge bag of toy soldiers, cars, an aeroplane and a play mat.

However, when my hubby was explaining that she only had £5 and couldn't afford a £30 remote control car, he was looked up and down by other parents as if he was really cruel.

I believe that my kids should understand that they can't have everything they want, and that they should understand the value of money.

Are we cruel?

Molanole

No way are you cruel. Your little girl was happy with her treats and that's all that matters. Who cares what other parents think for all we know they could be saddled with massive credit card debts themselves. No way are you cruel so banish those thoughts altogether.

LJD1_2

I think you're spot on and not cruel at all. They have to learn that they can't have everything they want. We have friends whose children just have to look at something and they buy it for them. There bedrooms are full of discarded and broken toys as they don't look after anything. I sometimes feel mean but the look on my children's faces when they do save up for something that they really want is worth it.

You are NOT cruel!

Littlemiss-lotsofdebt

Not at all! Kids are never too young to learn that mummy and daddy aren't made of money. My god daughter wants for nothing and now her mum is having problems telling her they can no longer afford things now she's not working.

Start them young and well done to you for sticking to your guns x

Noctu

Absolutely not. I work part time in a toy shop and I see all kinds of spoilt brats being bought expensive toys, paid for by credit cards of course.

Yesterday one of the parents actually said no to their daughter, and she had a screaming fit in the middle of the shop, which resulted in the father having to literally drag her out.

You are not bringing up spoilt children; you are teaching them the importance of sticking to a budget. Well done

jiblets1

hear hear........

kar

Your daughter is growing up to understand that she can only have what she can afford and shes happy to be getting any treats at all and having fun choosing her own. I think i'm going to have to come see you for advice when i'm ready to have my own kids.

An example of wonderful parenting and definately not cruel

milliejon

Thank you everyone. Why weren't you lot in the shop?? My hubby felt like he wanted the ground to swallow him up, and I was really upset when he told me. But at least he stuck to his guns.

I will never again use credit cards, so this is just the start of fighting against peer pressure I guess.

My sister in law is in really bad debt, she works two jobs as does her hubby, but their three kids get exactly what they want. She's in a terrible state but her eldest is 12 so it's difficult for her to say no because she's been used to getting everything all her life. Saying that, I'd find that easier than trying to find money I don't have to pay the debts.

MinnieSpender

Well done, you!

It's a well known fact that kids prefer boxes to expensive toys anyway.

themaccas

I think you did just the right thing for what it's worth. Kids will always want what they can't have though! We have always been strict with our children, but between the ages of 7-10 are the worst in my opinion, tantrums galore even when they have grown up with having only a little pocket money (£1-2 per week).

seven-day-weekend

You've done absolutely the right thing. Your little girl will grow up finding pleasure in simple things and knowing it doesn't matter how much things cost.

We gave our son an IOU for Christmas once as we knew the thing he wanted for his main present would be about half price in the January sales. (He had stocking fillers and presents from other people to unwrap....it wasn't as though we left him with nothing!).

He was about 10, we explained he could have the thing in January....he was fine about it! But several other parents thought we were cruel skinflints.

Guess whose son isn't into designer clothes and the latest mobile phone now they've all grown up?

Keep leading them in the path they should go.