help!! dont want children there on the big day

RainbowDrops

I still have the choice to make of what to do about having children there or not.
I'm certainly not anti children, but part of my concern is the extra cost per head for children (trying to be MSE here!).

There are certain ones that we will invite, eg the OHs sister has a 10 year old, and they would both be coming from overseas, so we would invite both. Also, my sister has a 5month old baby & will possibly have another on the way / born by my wedding. I certainly wouldn't want to exclude her from my wedding for the sake of having it "child free".

But there are a couple of cousins with children on both sides (totalling about 10 kids) and we need to make a decison.

I guess the things is, you don't have to say publically that it's a "no kids" wedding, just make sure you're speciffic on the invites - eg naming people in each family individually.

Sorry for the ramblings!

Alyssa_C_2

floss2 wrote: »

Talulah - it's lovely isn't it, we know she's posting but we don't have to worry about what she's saying! :rotfl:

Haven't ignored yet as I like the entertainment of watching the bitter miser type and be publicly hated a little more

hayleythedaisy

I can see both sides of the coin here, I am a little concerned about having children crying through the ceremony and mothers/fathers not enjoying their breakfast because they are having to feed/change etc.
However, my closest friend has 2 children, one will be 6 months, the other will be 2 years on the day. Although she could leave the 2 year old with grandparents she is feeding the 6 month year old, I know she could express however the baby won't take it from a bottle. So they are all coming. And one other baby wouldn't make a difference being there, but would cause ruptions not being invited so OH cousin's baby is coming too.
If I were your bridesmaid in this situation I think I would have to turn down the honour of being one because my baby would come first, especially being so young. I am not at all saying this is what she will do, or that you should not have a child free wedding. Just that it might happen that way.
I think you've just got to be honest though, I think people who are worth being your friends would understand that you didn't want crying babies all around you, but you have to be just as understanding if they choose not to come.

And I love franny's suggestion of the wedding nursery. :-)

blue_monkey_2

Good grief, I often flick through the forums and post on anything and everything if I have a spare 10 minutes while the kids not playing up because I am a nosy so and so), but I come back after posting this morning more of the posts on here are directed at slagging off another poster rather than commenting on the OP's situation - seriously, some of those posts are making you all look a tad deranged in all honesty.

I saw nothing wrong with the post in the first place. It's like you are all defensive before you even get a reply and I kind of agree with her, if someone has a long journey to add onto finding someone to offload their baby onto then they might not want to.

Chill out ladies.

Tell your bridesmaids now though because they might not be able to come and it's not like they are an 'ordinary' guest where it does not matter either way whether they are there or not, these girls will probably have a huge role to play on your big day and need to be told as soon as. Do they already know if they are bridesmaids, surely they are involved in helping with some of it?

floss2

We recently went to a child-free wedding - only 2 under-12's & 1 baby there, the groom's son / usher & grandson and the bride's grandaughter / flower girl. They made it clear from the start.

We are also having a kid-free wedding day, with only my 18m-old niece attending, no others.

jamespir

i think its slightly mean not expect people to bring there kids to a wedding its supposed to be a family event but i can understand peoples reasons too
i think you just have to say to people op what you want

what about the reception do you want not children there 2

Cat1

I agree with the previous poster who mentioned the cost issue of inviting kids. My friend got married a couple of years ago and she had kids there and they were all eating from the adult menu!! The service went ok, no screaming children running up and down but the wedding breakfast and speeches were pretty much ruined by them I don't understand people who don't just take their children out of the room when that happens!!! (before you jump on me I have 3 kids, one with behavioural issues)

If I ever get married I'm afraid it will have to be no kids or partners I don't know to keep it cheap. They can all come to the evening do though :j :beer:

blissfull-bride

i have to be honest it is the money issues also as we are paying £35 a head,but we dont mind children in the evening its just the ceremony and breakfast.only problem with telling my bridesmaids they can bring there babies is my oh auntie has a baby and his uncle has four children including young twins,so we dont know what to do like i said you cant say yes to children for some and not for others,im in tears now im just so stressed with it all already,i just hate to upset people i really do,i dont really have any close girlfriends so having them there is important to me,my other bridesmaid ( without child)is my OH sister.

tartantotty

We are having a kind of compromise at our wedding. I would happily have no children, but out of a wedding ceremony guestlist of 30, there will be 5 under 3's. I really dont want wee kids chattering/figeting/crying through the most important ceremony of my life, but my sis and nephew will be coming over from the US, and my sis-in-law and her daughter will be coming up from down south, and with both sets of grandparents being parents of the bride and groom, they wont be able to babysit!
Anyway, we are setting up a wee creche for the ceremony, with a couple of nursery nurses (thanks to my chief bridesmaid owning a nursery!), and then if the parents want a babysitter at night in the hotel room they can negociate and pay the nursery nurses.

Best compromise that we could come up with!

Fire_Fox

I don't think weddings are 'supposed to be a family event' they are supposed to be an expression of deep love and commitment between two adults, in front of the people closest to them. :huh: Most children don't have any concept of the importance of what is going on, and who feels 'close' to a baby other than their own? There are too many places or occasions hijacked by parents, your big day should not be one unless that is what the bride and groom wants.

I got married at 22 with no children present, I would not have wanted them there and in fact we were the first to 'settle down' so there were none to invite! We had a wonderful day, our own vows and sit down meal during which the aunts, uncles and old family friends were singing drinking songs and calling for more wine!! We wanted the day to feel like Christmas lunch (boozy and foody and tuneful affair for both families) and we succeeded.