help!! dont want children there on the big day

blissfull-bride

hi guys, gosh this forum is a lifesaver!! im getting married 2nd sept 2011 venue is all booked so this is my major worry out the way. i having some issues with telling guests that there is a no children policy at our wedding haha! i work with children all day and absolutely love it, but i want my day to be child free.
problem is one of my bridesmaids has just given birth and the other is due in June, both were asked to be bridesmaids before i knew they were pregnant haha! im just stuck with how to tell them we are not having children at the wedding with out offending the, we cant have one rule for one and one for another, we have told my other half's side of the family who are travelling down from up north that its adults only.

need some advice guys? has anyone else had this problem?

thanks

talulahbeige_2

Make your decision and stick to it.
Prepare your reasons in advacne and then sit down with the people who have children and explain them. They might think it's unfair, but its your day and if they are your freind they will respect that.
You might find that they love the idea of a child free wedding and they can let there hair down without worrying aboutt he child.

What i would say tho is give them plenty of notice and make it perfectly clear where yuo stand on it.
Be prepared for the "Well it's only one baby, what will it matter" It will matter on the day when your other guests who respected your wishes turn up to find kids thre and are !!!!ed off about it!

cheekydi

Why not just say that there will not be any other children at your wedding so you would recommned them to get a baby sitter and enjoy a night out on without the kids. We're not inviting al the children we know just the ones we would like there, we're under no obligation to have them all there and tbh some parents would jump at the chance to go out without the children again!!

iamana1ias

blissfull-bride wrote: »

hi guys, gosh this forum is a lifesaver!! im getting married 2nd sept 2011 venue is all booked so this is my major worry out the way. i having some issues with telling guests that there is a no children policy at our wedding haha! i work with children all day and absolutely love it, but i want my day to be child free.
problem is one of my bridesmaids has just given birth and the other is due in June, both were asked to be bridesmaids before i knew they were pregnant haha! im just stuck with how to tell them we are not having children at the wedding with out offending the, we cant have one rule for one and one for another, we have told my other half's side of the family who are travelling down from up north that its adults only.

need some advice guys? has anyone else had this problem?

thanks

Thousands have.

While I understand some of your reasoning, you should expect lots of your invitees to be upset by it and to turn down the invite.

Unfortunately when you start planning soooooooooo far in advance things can change (ie children come along).

Hopefully you'll start thinking of it as 'our day' a little more in the next year and a bit

iamana1ias

cheekydi wrote: »

Why not just say that there will not be any other children at your wedding so you would recommned them to get a baby sitter and enjoy a night out on without the kids.

But the bridesmaids will be there all day, not just in the night!

blue_monkey_2

I'd be telling them now, not leaving it. They might be like me and have NO access to 'babysitters' they can (or want) to leave their kids with for the entire day and so you'll have to find new bridesmaids.

If they were to have more children they might also be breastfeeding and would not be able to leave their children so you need to make your intentions clear to everyone now and get it over and done with.

talulahbeige_2

iamana1ias wrote: »

While I understand some of your reasoning, you should expect lots of your invitees to be upset by it and to turn down the invite.

Don't listen to a word OP, my wedding would have 30 children there if I invited them and not one of the parents is upset by us choosing not to invite children. Most are looking forward to having a good time without the kids there. The only issue we had was one when friend hadnt listened when we told her no children, but when we explained she was fine with it.

iamana1ias

talulahbeige wrote: »

Don't listen to a word OP, my wedding would have 30 children there if I invited them and not one of the parents is upset by us choosing not to invite children. Most are looking forward to having a good time without the kids there. The only issue we had was one when friend hadnt listened when we told her no children, but when we explained she was fine with it.

I can only assume they're not having to travel hundreds of miles then!

ellay864

I've chosen a 'no' kids' wedding to. Luckily I only had one very close friend with very young children and I went round to see her first, ready to have a talk, explain it all and ready with suggestions re working round with the kids...waste of time, she looked amazed when I asked if she was OK with it, said she wouldn't have dreamed of assuming kids were invited too.
I think as long as you're prepared for the fact some people may have a problem eg if they are feeding or travelling and don't have family support, you're fine to stick to what you want. I once had to turn down a wedding invite as I just couldn't get anyone to mind my baby and 2yr old for 2 full days with an overnight but the bride understood and we made sure it didn't cause an issue between us. You do have to remember that although it is your big day, for a parent with young children I'm afraid their child will be a bigger priority than your wedding. That's not a personal affront to you...it's just how it is. But I agree with talulah that most people will probably love the excuse for a night out childfree

iamana1ias

ellay864 wrote: »

I once had to turn down a wedding invite as I just couldn't get anyone to mind my baby and 2yr old for 2 full days with an overnight but the bride understood and we made sure it didn't cause an issue between us. You do have to remember that although it is your big day, for a parent with young children I'm afraid their child will be a bigger priority than your wedding. That's not a personal affront to you...it's just how it is. But I agree with talulah that most people will probably love the excuse for a night out childfree

Thank you for confirming my point.

talulahbeige_2

iamana1ias wrote: »

I can only assume they're not having to travel hundreds of miles then!

Suggest you keep your assumptions to yourself and go play your "let's troll" games on another board.

Everyone else - this person has a reputation across all the boards on MSE for playing troll games, have a look at her previous posts.