MFin5 - my diary to make it happen

pammyj74

If the money is in a savings account but on a lesser rate than your mortgage and you have your emergency fund set up then it is common sense to pay and save the interest on it.
Can you work out how much interest you would save on £800 OP? That might open his eyes!
He should see how hard you are now working to save money on your side of it and should see the benefit of how much interest you will save by paying it off sooner rather than later.

craftingmad

pammyj74 wrote: »

wow thats brilliant, do you have to be quite pushy? Do you get some rude people that just hang up on you lol.

I don't class myself as pushy (well I don't think I am). I am just polite and point out the benefits to them of advertising in the magazine (I'm lucky because the magazine's advertising rates are pretty good) and tha majority of people are lovely back.

I have had a couple of people who have been rude or hung up on me but the majority of people are lovely.

I was terrified on the first phone call I made but the person on the other end was lovely and expressed an immediate interest so that put me at my ease straightaway. I think it helps being in my own own home too with no one else (apart from my 3 year old!) listening.

craftingmad

pammyj74 wrote: »

If the money is in a savings account but on a lesser rate than your mortgage and you have your emergency fund set up then it is common sense to pay and save the interest on it.
Can you work out how much interest you would save on £800 OP? That might open his eyes!
He should see how hard you are now working to save money on your side of it and should see the benefit of how much interest you will save by paying it off sooner rather than later.

Hi Pammy,

Great advice thanks.

Unfortunately I have just shown him the benefits (and I even showed him the benefits of just a £400 OP) but he is still adament that this "spare" cash is not going to be used to OP. In fact he was so nasty he reduced me to tears. He gave me the lecture that its his money as I don't work etc etc. I might not work but I do look after OUR kids 24/7 without asking him for any help and I would have a part time job if he did'nt work every hour god sends and he could look after the kids whilst I was working as it would not be worthwhile me working as all my wages would be taken in childcare/petrol etc. We moved to where we are now about 4 years ago (having moved before this 4 years before again) because of his job so I have no family anywhere near who could help with childcare.

I really thought I had done well but at the minute I am beginning to wonder if it is all worth it?

pammyj74

oh big (((hugs)))) hun. I know how it feels when you are the carer. the 'breadwinner' thinks they are King as they bring home the bacon. BUT if it wasnt for you keeping the home together and looking after his children, cooking, cleaning etc, he wouldnt have a nice home and family to come home to. Its a partnership which needs give and take on both sides. They dont seem to see that part of it! Its so frustrating.

I can see that he is probably a bit stressed with his work and everything but that doesnt mean he can take it out on you hun. You are trying to be mortgage free so you have a better stress free life earlier than expected ans maybe he wont have to work such long hours and spend a bit more time with his family.

The money you have saved yourself by not buying your mags etc, can that be OP'd or does he pay the mortgage from his account?
Do you have any control on the money in there? Can you OP what you have saved?

Sorry he has made you feel low, you have been doing so well and so upbeat about it all.

At the end of the day though he really does need to be on board and on the same page when it comes to your finances.
You have your safety net in place already and its not like you are using ALL of the spare money left. Even a qtr of it would make a huge difference.
You are also doing all you can to save your own part of the money so its not like you are sitting back and doing nothing.

I hope you can sit and talk to him and sort it with him, being mortgage free does not work if it causes problems between you. You also need to have a normal family life.
((hugs))

craftingmad

Firstly thank you so much for your posty pammy, it really helps to know that someone is on my side and understands that looking after children full time is also a job although the only payment you get are the smiles and cuddles of your kids and the enormous sense of pride when they do something special like walking, talking etc. Thats plenty enough reward for me!

OK I have woken up with fresh vigour despite hubby still being as stuborn as a mule!

I have decided to carry on with my efforts and make sure that all the money I earn from Ebay, Card Sales, Telesales, delivering etc goes into my sole account so I can make OP as soon as I can.

Luckily the child benefit money goes into a different joint account from the main one so I am going to see today if I can change this payment to go into my sole account mentioned above and then set up a further DD for an additional £130 OP from this account (to run at the same time as the current OP from the main joint account).

I am also hoping that as I am saving all this money from the main joint account each month I am going to withdraw £30 each week from the account and put this into my sole account so that this money can also be used for overpayments. I am going to be a bit sneaky and when I go to Tesco's to get milk and bread each week I shall withdraw the amount as cashback so that it shows on the statement as Tesco's rather than a cash withdrawal. He hardly ever checks the statements as this is usually my job so am sure that he will not even notice this amount coming out and it will make a huge £120 extra for me to put towards the mortgage. Call it charging him for childcare as he never helps!!!!!! I'll just tell him that I made the overpayments from Ebay sales etc. What he dos'nt know won't hurt him on this occassion will it?

cha97michelle

I was going to say similar to being sneaky. I.e. every time you have saved the purchase of an item for your crafting. You have worked so hard this month, and it must feel like a slap in the face.

DH doesn't know half of what i do. It is all for his benefit though and i would explain it all to him if he could be bothered. Not like i am blowing it secretly on lots of things for myself.

Was he not impressed by all the extra money you had this month? Was he tired when you talked to him, maybe have another conversation over the weekend when he is more relaxed after a day of not working.

Men can be funny creatures. You need to get it so he suggests overpaying then he will think it is the best thing in the world to do.

craftingmad

cha97michelle wrote: »

I was going to say similar to being sneaky. I.e. every time you have saved the purchase of an item for your crafting. You have worked so hard this month, and it must feel like a slap in the face.

DH doesn't know half of what i do. It is all for his benefit though and i would explain it all to him if he could be bothered. Not like i am blowing it secretly on lots of things for myself.

Was he not impressed by all the extra money you had this month? Was he tired when you talked to him, maybe have another conversation over the weekend when he is more relaxed after a day of not working.

Men can be funny creatures. You need to get it so he suggests overpaying then he will think it is the best thing in the world to do.

Like your thinking cha!

Sadly OH is working all weekend too!!!! He prefers to be in work than be at home as it is easier (his words not mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Off to Tesco's now to get some cash, sorry bread and milk!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SmlSave

Big hug for you michelle


and a to your DH

craftingmad

SmlSave wrote: »

Big hug for you michelle


and a to your DH

Perfect, thanks xx

craftingmad

OK I took £30 out of the joint account today via cashback at Tesco like I said I would. It felt a bit wrong but it's not like I'm stealing it is it. I worked hard to ensure that this (and lots more) money was left at the end of this month so that makes me feel better.

I also looked properly in my purse today and found that I had more money in there than I had thought so emptied all but £30 out and paid this, the above £30 and all that was in my Mortgage Pig (apart from 5 1p coins) into my sole account ready to make an overpayment as soon as I can. I was so surprised as I banked a total of £127 today so I'm well chuffed!!!!!!

Also have the following to report today:

Little

1. 5 piggypoints clickthrough.
2. Lightspeed survey completed - 80 points
3. Phoned 5 more companies re: advertisning
4. Global Test Market survey completed - 30 points
5. 3 DooYoo reviews written - worth £1.50
6. Springboard Survey completed - 50p
7. Turned off and unplugged kettle, toaster & microwave to save electricity.

Large

1. 250 Lightspeed survey points credited for telephone survey completed re electioon debate.
2. Sold three items on Ebay totalling £21.07 (after fees & costs).
3. Won piggy travel quiz and gained 3000 piggypoints (worth £10 voucher)
4. Sold £85 advert so will earn £8.50 commission. Plus company are likely to take out more adverts in future so fingers crossed will earn even more.

My resolve is definately back but dare not approach hubby tonight about OP's again as did'nt want a scene in front of the kids!

We will be MF in 5 years whether he wants to be or not!!!!!!!!!