I am a Bridezilla and my confession is....

Magicboo

it does make sense-we've all been there!
Especially with not telling the OH because of their reaction. I keep telling him every time my family say something that upsets me re the wedding (or life in general!) and I just let it wash over me, always have, probably always will (I hate arguing and conflict) but he gets SO cross on my behalf! Very sweet but very hard to deal with when he is all moody with my folks because of something they've said/done to me and I'm acting like it doesn't matter!
Does that make any more sense than your post?! I don't think so!
x

clearing_out_my_pockets

It does make sense and I'm normally the same. But this one comment has really !!!!!! me off. I've relayed it to one of my other bridesmaids and she's reassured me I'm not over reacting. I don't like keeping secrets from OH, but if I did tell him he'd hit the roof. He's already been biting his tongue about her, but wouldn't be able to for this.

Why can't weddings be simple?

shellsuit

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

It does make sense and I'm normally the same. But this one comment has really !!!!!! me off. I've relayed it to one of my other bridesmaids and she's reassured me I'm not over reacting. I don't like keeping secrets from OH, but if I did tell him he'd hit the roof. He's already been biting his tongue about her, but wouldn't be able to for this.

Why can't weddings be simple?

I was friends with someone for 18 years until last December when she said something that made me furious too! I told her exactly what I thought of her and her comment and we haven't spoken since. That wasn't a comment about my OH, but about my Dad, who she had always got on with great and vice versa.

You need to speak to her about what she said if it is upsetting and angering you so much. If you feel the way I felt, then never mind sacking her as a bridesmaid, that would be the friendship over for good. Why can't you tell your OH about what she's said? If it's because he would go nuts, then is this really a friend?? Why would a friend say something about him, knowing that this is the person you love, want to marry, and stay with for the rest of your life? I wouldn't keep it a secret from him, I'd tell him.

Hope you manage to sort it out though x

clearing_out_my_pockets

shellsuit wrote: »

Why can't you tell your OH about what she's said? If it's because he would go nuts, then is this really a friend?? Why would a friend say something about him, knowing that this is the person you love, want to marry, and stay with for the rest of your life? I wouldn't keep it a secret from him, I'd tell him.

Hope you manage to sort it out though x

It wasn't something she said about him. It was kind of about me.

thebettingbride

Was it a put down? btw I'd say trust your feelings - if you're feeling this way then there is probably a very good reason for it. Over time I've learnt to trust myself more - I used to always be quiet and never tried to rock the boat either for fear of causing conflict and for somehow feeling as though I was in the wrong for doing so. I've become a lot more outspoken lately.

shellsuit

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

It wasn't something she said about him. It was kind of about me.

If its upsetting you, your OH should know ~ I wouldn't keep secrets from him before you've even got married x

Magicboo

shellsuit wrote: »

If its upsetting you, your OH should know ~ I wouldn't keep secrets from him before you've even got married x

I agree with this in principle, but sometimes it's not really keeping secrets, more omiting to tell him something. As I said in a previous post, my OH is very protective of me, so sometimes I don't tell him things that my family have said that have upset me because it will end in an argument..
him "you should tell them they've upset you"
me "it's not worth it, it doesn't matter that much"
him "you need to stand up to your family"
me "but I never have before and it's easier not to"
etc...etc...
However, if you are so upset that you want to say something, then having his support will steel your resolve. Also, if it is a biggie, then yes, I agree with shellsuit, you should tell him.
Very difficult and unfortunately, at the end of the day, only you can decide what the best thing to do is.
x

codemonkey

Another wee bridezilla moment. Got my bouquets through and mine is, well, disappointing. It's not hideous or anything, just not as lovely as it looked on eBay. I just want to cry.

sammy_wheeler

oh no codemonkey- how about us having a look to see if there is anything anyone could do?

codemonkey

Thanks Sammy. H2b is sniffing around but i'll try to take a photo later. They just look dull and a bit old lady.