I am a Bridezilla and my confession is....

lisajane8482

mixenvixen wrote: »

I feel like a whole bunch of people who wouldn't even bother coming to my birthday party.
!

I don't think you're over reacting and the above quote is exactly how I feel. My OH has put people on the evening list that he didn't even invite to his 30th, I can't understand how if they weren't important enough to invite to that how they are important enough to invite to the evening doo.

Pinzy

redfragglebiker wrote: »

both my sister and his sister are naturally slim size 8 skinnyminnies with gorgeous blond pokerstraight hair where as I am a curvy 12 with dark frizzy hair and a rather large bust.

So taking as an example the tv show 2 Broke Girls, you're a Kat Dennings rather than Beth Berhs? Hey-Yo! You'd rock a curvy wedding dress in a way they never could!

mixen- that's a real pain! I hope you can work it out, I've had enough difficulty politely telling people no when they've said "I'd best get an invite!" when I haven't seen them socially more than once a decade. Mum said recently that she'd see one of her cousins at the wedding, and for a horrid moment I thought she'd told him he was invited but thankfully she hadn't, and understands our restrictions. All you can do is be smiley and say "we would love to have you and a huge amount of other people there, but budget and venue restrictions mean we've had to be very strict, guest lists is a horrible job!".

Faerie

Aaaaarrrrrrrgh!! I think i'm going to snap soon. Why does it feel like everyone is making it their mission to annoy me?

We are having a small midweek wedding - parents, siblings and grandparents, then after our honeymoon we are having an afternoon party for everyone else. (I wanted to elope so this was the compromise.)

1. His mum isn't happy that her sisters aren't invited to the wedding day. His mum and nan have 'suggested' we invite them so they can support him and give his nan a lift to and from the wedding. His cousin has wrangled an invite somehow because he is 'busy' on the day of the party. I almost combusted when my OH broke the news that he has agreed he can come to our intimate wedding!

2. My dad now won't come to the party because I have apparently put him in a difficult situation by not inviting 1 of his brothers. I actually haven't invited 3 of his brothers but he is only bothered about 1 of them. This uncle is horrible to me, my sister and mum, plus I haven't seen him since I was a teenager.

3. I bumped into an auntie whilst shopping and it seems my dad has been boasting about my wedding, making out he is paying for it and involved in all the decisions. I was too shocked to put her straight! Maybe this is why he is so annoyed at me? He's probably already invited said uncle!

4. RSVP - or lack of! Out of 11 aunties and uncles, only 3 have replied. I text my mum earlier and she replied, "uncle, auntie and everyone, auntie, cousin, her kids and new boyfriend" Who is "everyone"?! And cousins new bf? :mad: Why haven't they replied to me? I'm so annoyed!

5. Peoples opinions on everything! I am not having bridesmaids, a bouquet, high heels, my dad is not walking me down the aisle (despite what he has told everyone!) etc People are constantly telling me that I HAVE to have something. His sister rang yesterday to ask me what perfume I am having, because apparently it needs to match my flowers. She was speechless when I told her I wasn't having flowers! I avoid talking about it because I hate having to defend why I don't want the big traditional white wedding.

I am seriously depressed about the wedding and party. I want to cancel the party and I don't care that some people have booked hotels and bought outfits. Why did I agree to do this? Can I cancel with 23 days to go?

Faerie

mixenvixen - I know how you feel! Are you going to say anything to your cousin? At least they RSVP'd!

74jax

Faerie wrote: »

1. His mum isn't happy that her sisters aren't invited to the wedding day.His mum and nan have 'suggested' we invite them so they can support him and give his nan a lift to and from the wedding. His cousin has wrangled an invite somehow because he is 'busy' on the day of the party. I almost combusted when my OH broke the news that he has agreed he can come to our intimate wedding!
This is a tough one, are they paying for the wedding, if so then I think you have to realise that this probably means she would want to invite her sisters. If they aren't paying then !!!!!!, but not your argument. Your OH needs to grow a pair and deal with her.

2. My dad now won't come to the party because I have apparently put him in a difficult situation by not inviting 1 of his brothers. I actually haven't invited 3 of his brothers but he is only bothered about 1 of them. This uncle is horrible to me, my sister and mum, plus I haven't seen him since I was a teenager.
If you dad choses to take 'sides' with his brothers then unfortunately that's HIS choice. you can't be blackmailed into anything, especially not on your wedding day. Again is he contributing financially wise though? Why on earth would you want someone at your wedding who you haven't seen/spoken to for years?

3. I bumped into an auntie whilst shopping and it seems my dad has been boasting about my wedding, making out he is paying for it and involved in all the decisions. I was too shocked to put her straight! Maybe this is why he is so annoyed at me? He's probably already invited said uncle!
Not your problem.

4. RSVP - or lack of! Out of 11 aunties and uncles, only 3 have replied. I text my mum earlier and she replied, "uncle, auntie and everyone, auntie, cousin, her kids and new boyfriend" Who is "everyone"?! And cousins new bf? :mad: Why haven't they replied to me? I'm so annoyed!
I've replied on the other thread but next time you're talking to them just ask. If you don't talk to them, why are they invited? Strike them off, they can't be bothered to rsvp - you can't be bothered to feed them.

5. Peoples opinions on everything! I am not having bridesmaids, a bouquet, high heels, my dad is not walking me down the aisle (despite what he has told everyone!) etc People are constantly telling me that I HAVE to have something. His sister rang yesterday to ask me what perfume I am having, because apparently it needs to match my flowers. She was speechless when I told her I wasn't having flowers! I avoid talking about it because I hate having to defend why I don't want the big traditional white wedding.

I am seriously depressed about the wedding and party. I want to cancel the party and I don't care that some people have booked hotels and bought outfits. Why did I agree to do this? Can I cancel with 23 days to go?

And breathe..............

Your wedding sounds amazing, and very very much like mine.

As long as you and your OH are in agreement over who you have and haven't invited then everyone else can butt out.

We have only invited a small few, some cousins are invited, some aren't. Why would we have people there who we couldn't pick upt the phone to and say 'yey we're engaged'.....

I'm not having flowers, a wedding cake, neither of us are having wedding rings. OMG NO WEDDING CAKE, I'LL MAKE YOU ONE.... no you bl00dy won't, if I wanted one I'd have got one.

Seriously, a wedding is the only time I think guests every contribute stupid ridiculous comments. 'Where can I stay, can I book a hotel' yet for the rest of the year they manage perfectly to get from A to B.

Luckily I've had no dramas like most on here, probably as let everything go over my head.

Maybe have a chat with your hubby2b and make sure you both know what you want and you deal with your side and he with his side.

Your day, your way.

gaynormurray

Lol Can I have a MOTB zilla moment? I have laughed and cried all the way through this thread, my daughter got engaged on Xmas day 2012 and planned to get wed july 2014, well last night she texted me to say they have postponed the wedding until july 2015, and I am ashamed to say I cried like a baby, I have been sooooo excited looking at wedding things and now its all gone flat Sounds silly but my daughter is 36 and my dad died on fathers day 2011 and Ive looked after my own mum since then, been so miserable and down, and this wedding was the one thing that kept me going lol! There, does that sound selfish? my daughter has no idea thats how I felt, couldnt lay a guilt trip on her! They have only postponed it so they can have the wedding of their dreams and save up more. On the plus side, we are having a mother and daughter photo shoot soon and we are going to a Bridal shop so she can try dresses on so as to make a day of it. God it sounds so bad reading this through, I have another daughter and son but didnt really have any imput at their weddings, as they didnt live locally. Am I bad for feeling this way? xx

jtr2803

I am a bridezilla and my confession is:

Why on earth do people wait for me to hand them the printed invite I had made over xmas to tell me that they can't come to our evening reception because they are on holiday.....why not tell me BEFORE I spent money on it?!

Why do you then ask me why my reception is in May, you thought I was getting married in April? I AM GETTING MARRIED IN EFFING APRIL! It's been well publicised that our reception is when we get back so don't start acting dumb all of a sudden! :mad:

Faerie

74jax - We are paying for it ourselves, none of our family are paying for anything. His mum has even moaned about how the party is getting expensive but then has the nerve to invite whoever she wants!

My mum asked how I was yesterday and I burst into tears! I haven't cried like that in years! She is now going to chase her side of the family and put some others straight.

I feel a lot better now, it seems more manageable and we are meeting with the caterer tonight to ask his advice

mixenvixen

I'm so sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time faerie. I think weddings really do bring out the worst in people sometimes. I've started to use the word 'guestzillas' about some of mine. Lol. I think just try and relax and deal with one issue at a time and I'm glad to hear that it sounds like your mum is helping a little more I didn't say anything to my OH's cousin in the end, I just let it go- as I figured I was just going to have to pick my battles for my own sanity! I think in the end, on the day (or at least I hope!) these problems seem to melt away and seem a little insignificant. Guests seem to be able to get away with being pretty rude before the day. But I guess when they get there and realise how much effort has gone into the day, they tend to chill out a bit! Or at least for all our sanity I hope they do!!

TimBear

frannyann wrote: »

Deep down I really want my guests to all match my colour scheme



(I would NEVER ask them, its just a bit of fun!!)

When my friend got married last year she specifically DIDN'T want people to wear the colour from her theme. She didn't make it public in so much as actually requesting on invitiations people didn't wear the colour, but with us girls, her close friends, she did ask us to avoid it!