I am a Bridezilla and my confession is....

lisajane8482

I am so angry. My nana told me that one of my cousins from the US (who I've just had to ask to be bridesmaids as my nana implied to them I would be) is apparently bringing her friend. She hasn't asked anyone (we were supposed to be putting them up between us all), hasn't asked me if she can come to my wedding. My aunt overheard a conversation with her mum And has told them she had cleared it with us. I said yesterday there was no way she could come to the wedding, it's extra cost and we're already over budget plus we have never met her.

My nana was ringing my aunt and uncle last night to find out if they had actually purchased the tickets and to find out the whole story and said we'd talk about it today. However, last night I got this email
"Also I would like to know if it would be okay if my friend came with us to the wedding...? My parents got her a ticket with me and Hannah to go to England but I totally understand if you don't have room for her or whatever I could always find something else for her to do. I was going to ask
Nana if it was okay if she even came at all yesterday but I forgot,"

I'm not overreacting thinking " how f'ing cheeky" am I? I've been left in a position where I can't really say no. You could hardly leave her friend in one of our houses all by herself.

I'm now wishing we'd just had a small wedding with my parents and nana's, OH mum, and a few close people then just had a big party 6 months later.

Well now I've had my rant I'm going back to sleep for an hour before I ring my nana and find out what my aunt had to say.

johannalf88

I would say that you don't have the space to put her up, n if she is staying with someone else, does it matter if she stays there alone. It sounds like you have already given in on somethings you dont want anyway. It's your wedding not your nanas or anyone else's- put your foot down!

minerva_windsong

Roz_V wrote: »

What Joolz said!

As a compromise though, is there a quiet area in the venue which you could set up as a chill/sleep room? Put some big cushions in there & the kids could go sleep without your sister leaving early

There is an upstairs bit in the venue which we were planning to use as a 'quiet space' away from the disco for people who want to chat (the way they do it is you have your ceremony in the downstairs bit, then the meal upstairs and the disco downstairs, but they can leave some tables and chairs upstairs for people who want a bit of quiet), so I may look into doing something like that - thanks for the suggestion!

lazer

lisajane8482 wrote: »

I am so angry. My nana told me that one of my cousins from the US (who I've just had to ask to be bridesmaids as my nana implied to them I would be) is apparently bringing her friend. She hasn't asked anyone (we were supposed to be putting them up between us all), hasn't asked me if she can come to my wedding. My aunt overheard a conversation with her mum And has told them she had cleared it with us. I said yesterday there was no way she could come to the wedding, it's extra cost and we're already over budget plus we have never met her.

My nana was ringing my aunt and uncle last night to find out if they had actually purchased the tickets and to find out the whole story and said we'd talk about it today. However, last night I got this email
"Also I would like to know if it would be okay if my friend came with us to the wedding...? My parents got her a ticket with me and Hannah to go to England but I totally understand if you don't have room for her or whatever I could always find something else for her to do. I was going to ask
Nana if it was okay if she even came at all yesterday but I forgot,"

I'm not overreacting thinking " how f'ing cheeky" am I? I've been left in a position where I can't really say no. You could hardly leave her friend in one of our houses all by herself.

I'm now wishing we'd just had a small wedding with my parents and nana's, OH mum, and a few close people then just had a big party 6 months later.

Well now I've had my rant I'm going back to sleep for an hour before I ring my nana and find out what my aunt had to say.

I think it is fine to say to her that no you don't have room, however do you have an evening part that the friend could come to?

Roz_V

minerva_windsong wrote: »

There is an upstairs bit in the venue which we were planning to use as a 'quiet space' away from the disco for people who want to chat (the way they do it is you have your ceremony in the downstairs bit, then the meal upstairs and the disco downstairs, but they can leave some tables and chairs upstairs for people who want a bit of quiet), so I may look into doing something like that - thanks for the suggestion!

There's no accommodation at our venue either so we had a similar dilema re. our friends with kids leaving early. We're putting some colouring in/sticker activity books, some "bedtime" storybooks, and some pillows in there so people get the message... We've also got a load of foam masks (pirates, butterflies, bumble bees, monsters etc) which are meant to be for the kids but I suspect some of the grown ups will end up playing with :rotfl:

lisajane8482

lazer wrote: »

I think it is fine to say to her that no you don't have room, however do you have an evening part that the friend could come to?

johannalf88 wrote: »

I would say that you don't have the space to put her up, n if she is staying with someone else, does it matter if she stays there alone. It sounds like you have already given in on somethings you dont want anyway. It's your wedding not your nanas or anyone else's- put your foot down!

After a little time to think and having my nana on the phone for over an hour in tears yesterday, OH and I came to the conclusion it's just not worth the hassle. In reality one extra person won't hurt as we are slightly over catering. I think it's more the cheek than anything else, that they had already bought the tickets two weeks ago without metioning it to anyone even though I've spoke to them several times and my nana has spoke to them every other day.

ETA: my nana wasn't upset that I wasn't inviting my cousins friend, she still thinks I should say no but will support my decision. The whole thing ended with my nana giving them a few home truths and venting how she really felt about the way they treat her. I'm thinking it would have been easier to run away and elope.

johannalf88

Glad you have got it sorted.

[Deleted User]

lisajane8482 wrote: »

....The whole thing ended with my nana giving them a few home truths and venting how she really felt about the way they treat her....

Good for your Nan! :T

BugglyB

I am a Bridezilla and my confession is...

I just got the 'suggested order of the day' through from the venue and felt so delighted looking at it that I forwarded it to friend, fiancee, mum and sister, and no-one has got back to me, so I rang fiancee to tell him and he said 'great, whats do you fancy for tea' and now I feel AWFUL WHY IS NO-ONE RINGING ME TO SAY 'ooo how lovely' and discuss my anxiety about when to have speeches?! WHY!

BugglyB

If I post my phone number will one of you ring me :rotfl: