condom split, whats the chances

littlerat

ceridwen wrote: »

But - it's a case of "first things first" - ie deal with the immediate crisis as per above advice. THEN have a good old go at son for being so stupid as to have sex at his age anyway (which would include explaining to him that there are girls out there trying to get pregnant regardless - in order to get the Council housing/benefit package - and telling him I wouldn't want to see him used by a girl like that). I must admit I wouldnt trust my temper as to just how much I would "let fly" at any girl that used any son of mine for such a purpose....but I would still go and see her if need be (complete with chequebook in hand in case the morning after pill was too late - ready to pay the cost of an abortion to solve the problem).

I hope I'm reading this bit wrong... but it reads to me like basically you'd do your best to force the girl into having an abortion?

Doom_and_Gloom

littlerat wrote: »

I hope I'm reading this bit wrong... but it reads to me like basically you'd do your best to force the girl into having an abortion?

That is exactly like I read it also and I'm very sure that is what they would do in that situation.

ceridwen as it stands full time education finishes at 16 anyway after GCSE's - although I do think that the age of compulsory education be going up to 17 and then 18 in the future. However as 16 is the legal age of consent for sex in this country what you are saying is horrific (and I'm also not sure how the age rise will work either??). #

As I have said before in a different thread I do have a friend who has been forced into having an abortion more than once by her mother and one of them was after she was 16 :mad:. Her mother was not doing the best by her daughter as my friend has never been the same since. You would not be doing best by your son or any girlfriend he had to force her to get an abortion - end of! You would just be selfish in doing this. If she wanted to have one fair enough but otherwise really it would be up to her. I've seen the result of forced abortion and I do not care much for people who think it is a good way of 'solving the problem'. It's just sick that anyone would think they have a right to do such a thing.

Glitzkiss

Mrs_Imp wrote: »

Well clearly you haven't.

I'm not going to go through and quote the times that people have said how much their lives would be ruined with having a baby, and the son would be 'lumbered' with a child he didn't want, or the person who said to slap the gf for not wanting to take the MAP. Or the fact the the OP not once mentioned supporting whatever decision the gf wanted to take.

I think you'll find I have;) And I've re-read it to check my facts and make sure I wasn't mis-remembering things.

Mrs_Imp wrote: »

And yes, someone did ask why talking about education was relevant. It is, as some people clearly think that having a baby stops people from having an education.

And one poster did mention their pill failing in them twice, hence the need for talk on contraception never being 100% effective.

All other people and not Julie

Mrs_Imp wrote: »

I guess you didn't read from page 1 all the way through.

Not only did I read it from page 1, I checked it twice to make sure I hadn't misunderstood the slant of the thread. Yes, Julie mentioned in her 1st post that she asked her son to push for the gf to take the MAP but she also asked what the chances were of the gf falling pregnant if she refused. To me this indictated acceptance that the gf had the final say in the matter. By post # 36 the true story came out of a painfully shy teenager who wanted to bury her head in the sand and hope for the best rather than ask for help in preventing a, clearly, unwanted pregnancy.

The thread descended into a debate about conception, how the MAP works, and how lucky we are now to live in an "enlightened" age of easy access to contraception. Well until post # 88 at least and smartpicture's comment about how they would feel if another parent helped their daughter obtain the MAP and brought back the idea of the gf feeling uncomfortable about it. btw, just because you feel awkward and embarrassed about a course of action doesn't mean it's the wrong thing to do and sometimes we need a little help to get us through the bad things in life. In fact if you read Julies post #105 it explains that the gf didn't want a baby and was simply too embarrassed to do the sensible thing

Which is why I wondered if you were reading the same thread as me. You seem to be reading a thread about a wicked adult dragging a teenager to the fpc and forcing her to take the MAP (ok, an exaggeration I admit ) instead of a responsible adult guiding her son and his gf into making a sensible decision.

Mrs_Imp wrote: »

OP, are you going to be taking son and gf to the GUM climic. A split condom can spell much worse than a baby (chlamidia, herpes, crabs, warts, HIV etc etc). And don't forget to book the gf in for a smear test. Now she's active she's at risk of cervical cancer from the HPV.

I agree with this

ceridwen

My understanding of being a parent is that one puts the interests of ones own child before the interests of someone else's child actually - well...obviously...bar ones own child having done something wrong that is (in which case you read them the Riot Act).

So - if anyone wants to read it that I would be strongly encouraging someone else's child to have an abortion if need be - rather than ruin the life of my own child - then what else would a responsible parent do?

I very much doubt many parents would stand by and see the life of their child ruined by someone else and not raise a finger to stop that.

samandona

I still don't understand the girls reasons for not wanting to go and get the morning after pill. She can't be THAT shy if she's willing to get naked and have sex with someone of the opposite sex....

System

in reference to smear tests sadly the recommended age in england is 25, and as someone who's 23 i've found it nigh on impossible to find anywhere that will give me one. Its "unnecessary" apparently as it can give false positives and it less likely someone under 25 will get cervical cancer. :mad:

Apricot

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

in reference to smear tests sadly the recommended age in england is 25, and as someone who's 23 i've found it nigh on impossible to find anywhere that will give me one. Its "unnecessary" apparently as it can give false positives and it less likely someone under 25 will get cervical cancer. :mad:

Seems ridiculous to me - it's 21 in Wales and when I hadn't made an appointment within 6 weeks of receiving a letter the doctor's surgery rang me and I booked there and then. Can't understand how false positives can appear in England but not in Wales? The age should definitely be lowered in England, my OH's cousin has just had to have a full hysterectomy at 24 (second smear test and cancer was too advanced)

ceridwen

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

in reference to smear tests sadly the recommended age in england is 25, and as someone who's 23 i've found it nigh on impossible to find anywhere that will give me one. Its "unnecessary" apparently as it can give false positives and it less likely someone under 25 will get cervical cancer. :mad:

Ain't it lovely when the NHS lies to people in order to save itself money?:mad:
Yet - on the other hand - I'm still getting letters at intervals calling me for smear tests and (being middle-aged and single) haven't had sex for years - so the way I figure it is nuns don't have smear tests, so I dont need one either these days (having had the last one I ever had "after the event").

Shame I wouldnt be allowed to send my next referral letter on to you - as, at your age, you do need to have them.

littlemissmoney

ceridwen wrote: »

Yet - on the other hand - I'm still getting letters at intervals calling me for smear tests and (being middle-aged and single) haven't had sex for years - so the way I figure it is nuns don't have smear tests, so I dont need one either these days (having had the last one I ever had "after the event").

OT, but important. You should still be having smear tests. Nuns don't have them because they have never had sex. You have so you need smears as something could develop years after the event. Get yourself booked in.

clairec79

Nuns are still offered smear tests unless they specifically ask to the taken off the list if you have a cervix you are offered the smear tests regardless
HPV may be the most common cause of cervical cancer it isn't the only cause