JC's kick up the butt diary!

savingwannabe

Hi JC i hope you are ok. Stick with new bank account let this give you the strength to realise that you still have some control. Bless you, SW.

jasperconran

Thanks for popping in weehev and savingwanabe. I have now had the forms from natwest for a week and still have not sent them off I have been so busy this week I completely forgot.

So I am determined to get them sent off on Monday first class so that hopefully, I can get everything sorted out for the end of the month before I get paid again, otherwise the finances are going to be in real trouble.

I am having to use savings to make ends meet for the next week or so due the overspending thats gone on this month. I am partly to blame for this as I too, got a bit carried away, probably comfort spending or something. We are going to be so near our overdraft its scary, but I will sort it out, as always.

I cant really afford to tax the car which is due at the end of this month, so that might have to be begged or borrowed from somewhere. I know that I shouldnt wish our lives away, but I cant wait for the year 2014, I have worked out that all the credit card debt and the 2 small loans we have got will be more or less gone, and I am going to feel so good when that day comes.

Its going to be down to my hard work and mine alone. I get really down some days and feel that my debt free day will never come. But then I have my postive days, when I think, what the hell, I will get there come what may!!!!!

Sorry guys, I know that I am whinging and whining tonight, its been one of those months (again!) but it feels so good to get it all off of my chest.

I hope that you are all well and still fighting to be debt free. take care and speak to you all real soon.

JC xxx

chevalier

Your OH should have enough self control that he would buy stuff 'to get away with'.

If the stress of managing the DMP yourself is getting to much, there is nothing to stop you asking payplan or CCCS for help.

good luck going forward. I wish you OH would just leave...
chev

turfy6

Hi JC just popping in to see how things are going for you. I know youve had a really tough month and things have been a bit low lately, take heart you are making positive steps towards getting DF and well done on passing your course, hugs.

chevalier

Hi there JC hope things are well with you. This is your reminder from down under to POST YOUR BANK FORMS OFF!

Take care and hope you can updates us soon.
chev

savingwannabe

JC i am on another site now I moved with Nid and the gang from Ann's thread. You are on my subscriptions so i will always see your posts but there may be a delay. I hope you are well. Remember he is the problem not you. By trying to help you are actually enabling him. I should know I allowed my brother to do it for years.

Go to dr as you are doing too much. Ask for counselling and they will help you to think assertive thoughts so you can escape. I cannot tell you how much nicer it is when you feel safe and don't need to keep looking over your shoulder. Please do it for you and your daughter.

My house is being done up and i am saving for furntiture.. When it is ready i would love it if you and dear daughter popped down for a weekend away to chill ok?

love ya always,

kit

turfy6

Hope all is well hugs

jasperconran

hi all,

thanks for popping in. sorry I havent been around for a while been away. spends not budgeted for as per previous post, but cant change it now, so not going to go on about it!

The bank account is all set up and should be ready to go by end of the month!:j So I will start september in the black for once, and I have to say, I cant wait!!!!! We have not been in the black for years. I have not closed the old bank account, I have decided that OH can have that as a spending money account whilst I sort out paying off the overdraft (yes, me again!!!!) That way I can keep a much closer eye on him, which is sad really, but it needs to be done.

Whilst out walking the dog today I found 10p yay! lol. not found money for a while so was quite pleased, sad really lol.:rotfl: But then did one of my free scratchcards and won a fiver!:j so I am feeling quite good today, which makes a nice change:)

I have been feeling quite low and depressed lately, but I have decided now that enough is enough, I need a good kick up the butt!!!!! As of the 1st Sept, my life is going to change for the better! new bank account, new start etc.

Hope you are all well, glad things are going well for you savingwannabe, shame you've moved sites though:( keep in touch.

speak soon guys, hope you are all having a great day!:)

savingwannabe

Congratulations on opening the bank account. I am so sorry to say this and i am sure it will upset you but you must look at it from a different perspective. A whole year of NLP has taught me that nothing will change if we do not change our behaviour and a big change is needed here. He will only start to think he has done something wrong and spent too much money when the safety net you have provided is removed.

I am usually not a betting person (and you are not going to like this) but I'll wager that if you have kept your previous bank account open you will still end up being liable for his debts and you will be giving him money from your new bank account to do this. The whole point of a new bank account was to reduce your stress. By keeping the joint one you have negated the advantage of sorting only your own debts.

I dont understand how a grown man who hits his wife and scares his child cannot be responsible enough to manage his own spending. He is using your love and guilt for him as a manipulative tool, you must be brave enough to allow him to sort his own mistakes. Inadvertantly through trying to make things ok and keeping the account open you are enabling his abuse.

I am sorry but i had to say it. You know i have been there the best thing is a distance from him in all forms. This is going to take time and be worrying. Fear of the unknown is but start with small steps and please do not keep the joint account open.

Love, kitX

chevalier

^^^^ what she said. Don't keep yourself entangled financially. Let him fall on his own. When is he leaving by the way. Perhaps you might look at juliff's thread on here 'am i too controlling with money' to give you some perspective. I think there are a lot of similarities....

good luck going forward
c hev