JC's kick up the butt diary!

savingwannabe

Well done on DMP. But it is his debt why are you signing up to it? Why can't he take responsiblity. You dont want to be tied to an abuser financially and physically.

So sorry about your job. Do your parents know that he hits you? I am sure that you told them. He is manipulative and has charmed them again i bet. It is unacceptable. We live in the an industrialised country, England is the best country in the world. NO woman should have to live under these conditions. Can you speak to your doctor? I bet there is a way you can move out and get away and then your life will move on JC.

Bless you, if you want to you are welcome on 3dogs's new thread. Dont be stressed but we seem to have pulled a few trolls - am too good looking for my own good - ignore them if you bump into any ok. Hugs, sw.

beanielou

I agree with SW.
No one in this day & age needs to put up with being physically/mentaly abused.
Big hugs x

chevalier

i take it there are good reasons why you are not kicking him out, and doing a DMP for just your debts. Sorry but i suggest you let him sink.....but don't let him pull you down with him.

Please talk to your local women's refuge if you are scared of him
chev

jasperconran

hi all,

I appreciate your comments guys and I do know what you are saying. I have been thinking over the last few days as to where my debts have come from and now I remember!!! I kept transfering my OH's debt onto my 0% CC's to bail him out years ago:( what an idiot and now we are both in the same mess.

I am going to be stuck for a bit yet, but no worries I will get there and get myself and DD out of here as soon as I can. I have been meal planning and for the next 14 days I have got meals planned out which I was very happy with, plus I am going to do some baking as I havent done any for a while. and then tonight, OH says to me, oh next week I want to go and spend at Mr T's and fill our cupboards:eek: and i was like, what the hell!? dont you notice anything?! We cant afford this and I am going to have to be strong and put a stop to it ( dont know how, but im going to!)

On a brighter note, I have been thinking about starting my own little business selling on ebay plus making my own stuff to sell in the new year. I dont want to say too much about it yet, but watch this space!!!!! I am fed up with being let down with work (being self employed does have its downsides) and have to rely on other people and their rules and regulations is getting me down. Its about time I did something for me! To have something of my own would do me alot of good especially with regards to self esteem/confidence etc.

My self esteem is mega low at the min due to being constantly told that I am a useless wife/mother/housekeeper etc.:mad: some men are pigs........better off without em!

with the weather being so bad, be safe guys and be happy!

JC xxx

NorthernLas

JC - You are in charge of your self-esteem, please do not let other people's comments drag you down. You are better than that!

Can you do like the TV add? The one where the person has their fingers in their ears and says La, La, La, can't hear you!!

Use your time wisely and get your escape route planned as well as any new business you might be thinking of. If you are planning slow and steady, is there somewhere safe that you can start moving things to? If you do a little at a time, things going missing won't be noticed so much.

Hugs

NL x

chevalier

Yep to being strong. Can you not show him the meal plan and say that you don't need to go to Tesco's? Will it make any difference? Well done on the ebay business idea, and at least if you are self employed you know about registering for tax and all that on there, so that is sorted.

By the way now I know you have a DD be strong for her. Because you don't want her to think that being walked over by a man is the correct way to be in a relation ship do you?
chev

jasperconran

CCCS have advised us that our dmp will run for 5 years which aint bad considering the amount of debt we actually have. However, I am going to do my very best to get mine down and gone within 2-3 years! hard I know, but doable from what ive read from other peeps on the forum, they've managed it!!!

Last night was awful, OH launched into a horrific verbal attack which came out of nowhere and I was totally unprepared for it:(:(. I have to say, I know Im not the best housekeeper in the world, but he cant shout. As quick as I tidy up, he comes home and makes a mess! It was awful, the names I was called, well, I cant even print them on here......and to say im a terrible mother, well that finished me! He can say what he likes, but I can honestly say with my hand on heart, I am NOT a bad parent!

He did say that he is leaving after Christmas, so will wait and see. If he doesnt go then I will go back to my original plan, get my debt gone and then me and DD will go.

If I dont get a chance to post anymore, have a great Christmas everyone, happy new year and speak soon.

I hope and pray that 2011 will be a better for me and DD

beanielou

Take care & hoping too that 2011 is a better year for you & your DD.

jasperconran

thank you beanielou. I feel like I am being constantly punished with bad luck and I dont just mean with regards to OH. We were expecting a big bonus this year from both our works but now it would appear that the money is being held and we dont know why. The monies were going to go towards some of the very small debts being paid off and we were going to save for a small holiday next year to try and get OH away from all the stress etc and work on our marriage. Now I dont know when (or if) we will get it:( Why is life so harsh???? Will it ever end? I feel so down and depressed today its unbelievable, OH is now down which means his bad mood will make us all suffer.

However, I am hoping that in some small way this will make him wake up! As he was still talking up until last night about spending silly money on the car and various other bits n bobs which really makes me :mad::mad::mad:......its like money burns a hole in his bloody pocket! why cant he be like me? OMG!

No wonder im going grey already :rotfl:

Another battle for me to get through, I really dont need this right on top of christmas.......I just hope and pray that this mess sorts itself out and it will all come good in the end!

savingwannabe

Remember this song JC? This is what got me through my childhood. You be selfish ok put you and DD first. Change your destiny. We have faith in you.

Marlene on the Wall by Suzanne Vega http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoI9yVOb_xY

I see you are making progress, small steps but then you get scared. Do you want to live with fear all your life? You deserve better. Talk to a woman's refuge. just having spoken to them will make you feel more in control. Do it, for you and for your daughter.

What does Beanie say small steps? Ps what are you doing next summer? if you fancy a visit down south my house is open I should have furniture by then too.

Always your friend, kit.