JC's kick up the butt diary!

savingwannabe

Hey glad you are ok. Hope you enjoyed course. Weather is glorious here. Am taking great hayfever tablets from Asda only 99p!!!

Remember it is his spending that is causing problems not yours.

hope you and dd are having lots of fun in sunshine. My mum and dad are visiting and it is lovely.

hugs, sw.

turfy6

Hi JC, glad youre ok and that youve finished your course, you will be back on track in no time, we all have times like that re the takeaways etc. Hope the hayfever improves soon. Dont worry you will get there baby steps.:beer:

jasperconran

hi guys,

sorry I havent been around for a while. I have now finished my course!:j:jand i passed yay! Its going to take a while to build my money up but I know in the long run it will really help.

Things are still not good on the money front, I am ashamed to say that I have really let things slip and OH has been getting away with loads lately on the money front. I have just sat here in depair and tears looking at our bank account, its my fault, I know this. We go away for a week soon and I had all the spending money saved up and now its all gone.:( had to use it to bail out 2 of my hubbys cc's before they would accept his offers as we are doing our own dmp.

Dont know what to do, I am also ashamed to say I never sorted out the new bank account, so will be doing that today.

I need a good kick up the butt guys, I need to get motivated again and I really really need your help to do this and get myself back on track. please help guys, I am feeling so lost at the moment:(

JC x

savingwannabe

Hello petal.

Well done on course. That must feel good, a useful qualification.

There is a lot to do and thinking to be done. You must do things one step at a time.

I had years of abuse from birth till the age of 23, i had no ego and it was only when my doctor gave me permission that i allowed myself the luxury of leaving. And i have not looked back. So i know exactly what you are going through and noone will hold anything against you. We know how hard it is.

Arrange a bank account today. First.

Make sure you only are responsible for your debt Not his. Please don't trust him. OH wont care if you end up paying his luxury items off, he has not cared so far has he? You and your poor daughter are having to make sacrifices for the rest of your lives whilst he gets off scot free.

Set up a savings fund for yourself.

After that write down a list of why you are with him still and why you may want to leave. Spend time on this.

back after work,

Chin up pet. It will get better. hugs, kit.

Choc-addict

Hi there,

Don't be so hard on yourself lovely - we all have blips no matter the reasons.

I echo what's been said, just ensure you sort out your dmp and make sure you are covered as I suspect that hubby will just continue as he has been - does he realise as soon as you enter a dmp (self adminstered or not) that you are NOT allowed to use any credit cards you have or indeed actually take any further credit anywhere??

If you are going along lines of dmp why not go through payplan or cccs and let them take the hard work on for you for a while until you feel stronger in yourself?

First things first - go open that separate bank acc and whilst you're at it a sep savings acc too to go along with it.....put money aside regularly (even small amounts add up)

Keep chin up, just aim to do the account today.....baby steps and certainly one step at a time xx

Choc-addict

jasperconran wrote: »

hi guys,

I had all the spending money saved up and now its all gone.:( had to use it to bail out 2 of my hubbys cc's before they would accept his offers as we are doing our own dmp

P.S - normally if you are managing to meet payments they won't consider a dmp option.....accounts normally have to be in arrears etc to basically show that there is a problem.....it may have changed but that's what I thought??

jasperconran

hi guys,

thanks for your support, its appreciated as always. Its really been May and June that I lost my way, and now I/we are paying for it. I rang Natwest yesterday and had to re-do my application but I am determined to see it through this time!!!!! I must admit, its partly my fault as I have been lazy with my meal planning and have spending far too much on my weekly food shopping (its been quite :eek:). but now my course is out of the way, and after feeling extremely sorry for myself yesterday, I am back and feel more determined than ever!

In response to your post choc-addict, the two cc's of hubbys I mentioned, scalifax and evil egg, they refused to accept the offers until the arrears had been sorted. So I panicked and paid up, thinking about it now, I probably should have made us stick to our guns and just said no! you cant have what we aint got!

I've certainly learnt a hard lesson from that one!!!! as I said yesterday all savings that I had worked so hard for and got together for hols and any extras etc all gone:eek: but hopefully now I am determined to get back on track, I will soon get everything sorted out. I had got money put aside for the flaming car tax (due this month) but thats gone, so dont know where im gonna find that kind of money:eek:.

Oh well, Im sure we will muddle through, we always do. hope you are all ok. have a great day everyone.

speak soon..........and it feels good to be back:)

JC x

Choc-addict

Hey lovely,

Keep posting - it helps to off load if anything and that's always good.

Re the food shopping - perhaps a bit of emotional spending?? I'm quite bad for that and in the long run it makes me feel worse. I now sit and ask myself two questions before doing anything random with spending or eating.....they are.....

1. How is this going to make me feel right here and now?

2. How am I going to feel after I have actually carried out the event of perhaps buying item or eating a cake....

Normally the latter one makes me realise that the nice effects are short term and the answer to my second question will linger for a long time in making me feel bad/worse....especially with spending as then I have to make up the money elsewhere in the month.

Hope i'm not waffling too much?!!!

I was on a dmp with payplan for a while and now deal with creditors myself - it's not easy in the first instance but if you set a really good budget (and stick to it ) then it can be good. You will get calls/letters from debtors - just stick to your guns, send them a copy of your buget together with offer of payment and stand firm. Egg were great, cancelled card, stopped interest and now just a repayment facility until cleared. Yes my credit is ruined but I can't worry about that just now and in time to come it'll improve.

Please PM me if you want any help lovely xx

jasperconran

morning all,

just thought I would pop in quickly before i start work.

Re did my application for bank account online so just waiting for paperwork to come through, I will make sure I sign it straight away this time! I spoke to an online advisor just to make sure my application was submitted as I kept getting the savings thing come up and couldnt get out of it!!!!

I need to get this sorted out and come to some sort of arrangement with my current bank as we are going to be over our overdraft again this month by at least £200:eek: thanks to you know who!

I am sick and tired of number crunching, I feel thats all ive done this week. I know we will be ok in the end. I need to stop worrying and stressing as I will end up ill.

I will catch up with you all later if I get a chance. have a great day everyone

JC xx

weehev

Hi JC,

Just dropping in to see how you are??

hope all is well

xx