JC's kick up the butt diary!

jasperconran

savingwannabe wrote: »

JC well done. You are so strong. I am so proud of you. After a couple of week's of you not bailing out OH and not being stressed, trying desperately to cover for him you will be so empowered and realise it is his fault and his problem.

I hope that he has the maturity to acknowledge this for his sake and eat some very humble pie.

Dont worry about the £6. You made money. I sold a fantastic conditioned cd of Sting and the Police for £1.04, Forrest Gump (cds) which cost me £17.99 for £0.45!!!!! so i know how you feel but it bought in cash.

Well done, you have just experienced Gestalt. Learning of the highest order. You wont look back my friend and you will fly!!!!!

:j

Thank you my friend. I have to say that after feeling sorry for myself for about 2 hours earlier, I now feel stronger than I have ever felt before. I will not let him get to me, I will not let him get me down. I do sometimes think tho that he doesnt actually realise he's doing it!!!!

I look at him sometimes now and all I feel is contempt. I want to keep things normal/stable for DD, bless her. I will carry on for her sake, and I will work flipping hard and get my debt down and gone! That is my promise to myself!

And with the help of all of you, my newest buddies, I know that I can, and will do it!!:)

speak soon xx

BLT_2

savingwannabe wrote: »

JC well done. You are so strong. I am so proud of you. After a couple of week's of you not bailing out OH and not being stressed, trying desperately to cover for him you will be so empowered and realise it is his fault and his problem.

I hope that he has the maturity to acknowledge this for his sake and eat some very humble pie.

Dont worry about the £6. You made money. I sold a fantastic conditioned cd of Sting and the Police for £1.04, Forrest Gump (cds) which cost me £17.99 for £0.45!!!!! so i know how you feel but it bought in cash.

Well done, you have just experienced Gestalt. Learning of the highest order. You wont look back my friend and you will fly!!!!!

:j

Bit of analysis here of the situation if I may, well you know I'm going to do it anyway

I don't think anyone will argue that JC is not taking the right course, however I think we all know the route this is going to take for the following reasons:

OH does not come across to be me as the type to acknowledge that this is his fault and furthermore the first time he can not access any money due to his own failings he will blame JC. His lack of maturity can be evidenced by his cavalier attitude to the situation which exists

OH comes across as a controlling type, JC mentions earlier in her post his ridiculing of her in front of the parents. This is psychological, by denigrating her and putting her down to others, it makes him feel superior and reinforces his perceived place as top dog and head of the family. It is well hidden behind a jokey buddy type of move but there are underlying factors.

The factors in Point 2 means he is not going to take well to the opening of a seperate bank account, he will see this as JC asserting her independence and as a personal attack. He is very much the silverback gorilla whose position is being threatened (has anyone spotted how many animal metaphors I am managing to slip in )

I suspect there are fraught times ahead in the JC household as she attempts to bring her life under control. I would merely urge JC to consider this; marriage is not ownership, you still have the right to your own life and your own existence. Marriage is an agreement between 2 people that they want to share their life, but it doesn't mean that one of them has to subliminate his or her needs to the other party

Good luck JC, as I say, there are fraught times ahead, but giving up at the first hurdle would merely mean that the situation you find yourself in, both financially and emotionally will carry on ad infinitum (animal metaphors AND latin, its there no end to this mans talents)

moo2moo

Very eloquently put BLT. You are full of surprises.

Its most definately a head on situation. JC you need to open the bank account, transfer everything you needs to transfer ***this should only be the things in your name! and anything essential for life like the gas bill etc**, memorise all the details or better still leave a copy of everything somewhere else (like your parents) and then tell the OH precisely what you've done because it sounds like hes the sort to explode if he finds out yoou've done it via some other means.

Don't give in to him now JC! Do it for you and DD.

Your OH should never ridicule or belittle you in front of anyone for any reason. No one deserves that. Its totally unacceptable.

BLT_2

moo2moo wrote: »

Your OH should never ridicule or belittle you in front of anyone for any reason. No one deserves that. Its totally unacceptable.

I couldn't agree more Big Nose

turfy6

I applaud you JC for taking that decision it was not an easy one to come to but totally necessary for your own wellbeing.:T Hopefully this will open his eyes to the spending at least he cant just take it when it suits him and he will have to justify it. Good luck and we'll all be keeping an eye on you.

savingwannabe

Bless ya guys, i am just hoping for the best. You never know he might come round.

BLT stop washing more often i like this. Oi, can't you marry JC and then she will be happy as you are not a bully. Then i can go shopping and get a nice dress.

:j

savingwannabe

My last post was a bit flippant and the situation deserves more than that. I agree, you must tell mum and dad what is happening.

I am worried in case he goes mad. But separating your accounts is a good thing as it will enable you to see it is his fault and him too.

I dont want you to worry. Can anyone offer any more advice?

:j

jasperconran

morning all,

thank you all for your kind words and support, its appreciated.

Well, we did have a bit of an argument last night (not about money funnily enough). Apparently its all my fault and OH said I love you more than life itself but sometimes you irritate the hell out of me! ha ha ha. do I care, no! He then said I am thinking of waiting until DD is of an age where she can cope with things and then I am going to divorce you:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: now THAT made me laugh. I felt like saying thats exactly what i've been thinking for the past few weeks.

He now expects us to spend the day together playing happy families:eek: is he really that stupid??

I dont know, im not going to let him ruin my day anyway.

Oh by the way, savingwannabe, you just want an excuse to go shopping dont you?:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: dont blame you! I would love to go shopping! I will help you pick out a dress!:)

have a good day everyone xx

savingwannabe

What a dreadful thing for him to say. I don't know why people have to be so nasty to others. Life is short and precious. What a dreadful man.

Go to a friend's, or your mum's, take a picnic and go out somewhere. I want to kick him really hard. Pig!

My house will be ready after the summer. Am having an extension added upstairs to bungalow, and decor will enter the 21st century. You are invited to come and visit me anytime for a holiday. I am a few miles from the beach but it is nice and relaxing and i have a fab garden. Focus on happy things and spend today being happy. You deserve it.

:j

BLT_2

jasperconran wrote: »

morning all,

thank you all for your kind words and support, its appreciated.

Well, we did have a bit of an argument last night (not about money funnily enough). Apparently its all my fault and OH said I love you more than life itself but sometimes you irritate the hell out of me! ha ha ha. do I care, no! He then said I am thinking of waiting until DD is of an age where she can cope with things and then I am going to divorce you:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: now THAT made me laugh. I felt like saying thats exactly what i've been thinking for the past few weeks.

He now expects us to spend the day together playing happy families:eek: is he really that stupid??

I dont know, im not going to let him ruin my day anyway.

Oh by the way, savingwannabe, you just want an excuse to go shopping dont you?:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: dont blame you! I would love to go shopping! I will help you pick out a dress!:)

have a good day everyone xx

Lets play spot the anomaly, I get to go first :rotfl: PS, You really don't want to spend all day playing happy families, that has to be the most boring card game ever.