question:- I'm mortgage free. should my girlfriend pay me rent ?

Sav

Put your property up for rent and buy somewhere else together. That way you share a mortgage and build a life together as a partnership. But have the extra rental income that you can do with as you wish.

shopaholic2639

This is a difficult subject, one that really is very personal. I can see it from both sides! I have to say though, personally I would not make my partner pay towards something I didnt have to pay (if that makes sense) I would expect him to pay for half of the living costs but to then ask for additional money that would be just extra income for me I would not wish to do. At the end of the day your house is YOURS, perhaps make sure she wouldnt be entilled to it if you ever broke up. Get something written up legally maybe?
Obviously if you ever married and/or had children then it becomes a bit more complicated. I believe that if she prooves she has put money into the property to improve it etc then she would be entitled to money out of it. But then I could be wrong?
Do you really need her to pay you to live together? Or can you live without it? If its the second and you are only wanting to protect whats rightfully yours then I would seek proffesional advice from a solicitor and get something drawn up that you can both agree on.
I wouldnt want to be in your position right now, money matters in any relationship is hard enough...good luck and I hope whatever the outcome I hope it works out for you both.

hopalong53

Shopoholic wouldn't ask partner to pay for something she didn't...... surely this man already has paid for what he is asking the girlfriend to pay for. It's the timing that is different, which makes the situation even more difficult. That said, I do believe that in not asking for rent or a half contribution towards bills, is the quickest way for someone to lose respect for you. I fell for the "love is greater than that" line ten years ago and ended up giving half of my house away after 5 years living together. I wish I had then, the common sense I have now, whereupon any negotiations and mutual solutions are arrived at, before anyone moves in.

It is a hard road to walk down though_pale_

shopaholic2639

hopalong53 wrote: »

Shopoholic wouldn't ask partner to pay for something she didn't...... surely this man already has paid for what he is asking the girlfriend to pay for. It's the timing that is different, which makes the situation even more difficult. That said, I do believe that in not asking for rent or a half contribution towards bills, is the quickest way for someone to lose respect for you. I fell for the "love is greater than that" line ten years ago and ended up giving half of my house away after 5 years living together. I wish I had then, the common sense I have now, whereupon any negotiations and mutual solutions are arrived at, before anyone moves in.

It is a hard road to walk down though_pale_

Thats why I said this is a very personal thing to decide!! Thats how I would feel personally and also why I suggest getting everything written & agreed legally that way all parties are protected and if the worst did happen then no-one could complain. I have been through a very messy divorce a few years back & wish I had done things differently also...we all live n learn.

shopaholic2639

The other thing you have to consider is that if you want her to pay a 'rent' so to speak she could then have a claim to the property if you did ever break up. I guess you have to decide which you would prefer?
Check out your options with someone legally if I was you then go from there!

justwondering25

jjww wrote: »

Hi Just wondering,

I completely agree with you about your views on children (when they do come into the equation) having to earn and respect the value of money. My eleven year old son knows he has to earn every penny he gets. He works weekends helping out in our own business and gets paid a fair hourly rate plus tips, he does chores at home for his pocket money and any additional chores he does are priced and he is paid accordingly.

He respects all of his belongings as he knows that if he keeps them nice he can sell them on when they are no longer any use to him at car boots, internet auctions etc. and all of the proceeds are his to do as he wants with.

He also buys at least 90% of his own clothing with the money he earns because he realises that money is a commodity that gets you what and where you want out of life but it has to be worked hard for, a lesson I am sure thousands of children and adults in Uk could do with learning!

It is possible to discuss money and come up with practical solutions as you have regarding the situation with your girlfriend and still be in love.

My husband and I run 2 small businesses both of which are successful and have done for the past 12 years we treat every financial aspect like a business deal because whenever money changes hands that is effectively what you have.

Money as all of the MSE posters know is a vital aspect of life and therefore should be discussed thoroughly before any arrangement is entered into. Well done to both you and your girlfriend to have the common sense to see that as well as being financially important to discuss it, doing so early on will prevent any resentment over who pays what or does not pay what from happening.

Good for you and good for them , its never to early to learn and understand the value of money.

justwondering25

Andy_Anon wrote: »

My (now ex-partner) was living in rental accomodation. I moved in with her for about three months (I did not need to, it was to be with her and I did not rent out my flat to make money out of this situation). She said I should pay half of the rent which was ok. For the first 6 months she had just equivalently got it free as I spotted that as she was starting a new business up she could claim some money (worked out about the same as the house rent) as a start up which she didn't know. While I was with her, her visiting aunt borrowed my flat for about 6 weeks and paid nothing except the gas/electric and never said thank you - neither did my partner.

Subsequently we moved into my house with no mortgage (sold the flat) (for about a year) and shared the utility bills. I found it interesting that she insisted that I paid part of her rent (on top of utils) for the 3 months I stopped with with her to be nearer, but that she paid nothing towards my house when she moved into it for a year - and gave no thanks whatsoever. She also got about a fifth to a quarter of my time for free for helping her business around the country helping her sell at various shows etc for which I recieved no thanks - indeed she seemed to see it as her right.

So to your question - I think it depends on whether she really recognises and is thankful or just sees it as a way of saving money - which is clearly what my gf did. I would not have minded if she had just said thank you once in a while. Instead she complained about how little I treated her to things (I had taken a career break for a year and was living on equivalently between 800-900/month so not that well off) even though she had my lots of my time helping in her business and had free accomodation (and business premises). Oh, we did share pretty much equally cooking and cleaning etc. I agree treating her once a month to a meal out and occasional flowers is not that often. How often did she offer to treat me to things - never.

So with my experience I personally think that your gf should pay something towards the house - she is after all saving some money by sharing accomodation. If she thinks that she should be freeloading, then you might want to consider where it might end up.

When I moved into a new current house with a new girlfriend and now wife, she bought part of it (equivalently had the mortgage with me so we didnt have an overall mortgage). She was content with this as I had 15 years more working than she, and has been happy that I might retire early and thought that was fair. I love treating my wife to things as she is always so thankful whenever I do (I can afford to do this more often now), as opposed to expecting it as a right - indeed she occasionally gets me meals out which is kind.

Andy , thank you for sharing your real world experinces , i'm glad things are moving in the right direction for you now , its a shame , love really is tough at times , but its also rewarding , glad its worked out for the better.

hopalong53

shopaholic2639 wrote: »

Thats why I said this is a very personal thing to decide!! Thats how I would feel personally and also why I suggest getting everything written & agreed legally that way all parties are protected and if the worst did happen then no-one could complain. I have been through a very messy divorce a few years back & wish I had done things differently also...we all live n learn.

20:20 vision happens after the event....unfortunately for us shopoholic!!Sorry to hear you had a bad time of it;)

shopaholic2639

hopalong53 wrote: »

20:20 vision happens after the event....unfortunately for us shopoholic!!Sorry to hear you had a bad time of it;)

We all have a story to tell, the only comfort of going through bad experiences is knowing your not alone...it makes you wiser & stronger for future events thats for sure! Im glad to report that I am much more settled now in life, have a fantastic partner & we agree on almost everything in life, we also split our rent & everything else 50/50 with no arguements...we earn practically the same anyway. He has 2 children to pay for & I have my debts...they are the only things that are kept seperate!

hopalong53

Hi Justwondering

Savings? Interest? Maybe as you would both have equal amounts, you could use some or all of that to buy a new house....problem solved!:j