question:- I'm mortgage free. should my girlfriend pay me rent ?

justwondering25

dolcelatte wrote: »

Many couples pool their money and share as some have commented on here. If you two were to do this, then the writer of this post would be better off, as he stated that his girlfriend earns 3 x his income. Put like this, everyone seems happy with the sharing idea, but not with the 'rent' idea which would make him worse off than 'sharing'. Its the label 'rent' that seems to be upsetting people.

Yes the word "Rent" does appear to be a bit of a dirty word , many others have sugguested , my G.F pay for meals out and all the food and days out , hoildays etc.

But guess what they all = MONEY , its all about rounding the edges off of the term "Rent ", repackaging the whole idea and reselling as other goodies , Marketing strategys are in play at that point , once again, hard not to see life as a business.

justwondering25

maracasman wrote: »

Sounds like a match made in hell rather than heaven. As a male person who has provided for wife and children without ever thinking of trying to turn matters to a money-making exercise I find it incredible that you seek to reduce a relationship to a means to make money.You have to decide whether you are having a human relationship based hopefully upon love and mutual respect or a business partnership.Are you going to charge for hire if you let her use your car? I don't think you deserve her, given that you have had to ask the internet world the question you have posed.

Having a financial strategy in todays crazy credit laden world will does us both good , to be honest we've talked about when we have kids etc and i've said i'd like the kids to be into the idea of earning money in one form or other by the age of 12 at the very latest , i had my first part time job at the grand aged of 4 , it was 5p to do the washing up and 5p to do the drying , this is back in 1975 , a fair sum back then .

As an example I'd like my kids to recycle there unused toys on something like Ebay and start to understand the value of money , the buy and selling of product , maybe even producing a product to sell on the internet via Ebay or there own website , what ever the fad is when there kids , they will be a marketplace for it , understanding the value of money very early on is not a bad thing .

Or course i would not push any of my off spring to be in business if that was not something they showed a passing interest in , but Daddy is bound to viewed and asked about what he does and how he does it which should hopefully spark a naturual interest and help to educate them a tad.........

I no doudt face a barrage of "child labour " based comments etc which will be ill founded and nothing more than a mental knee jerk reaction ,if thats your reaction then please re-read the post .

justwondering25

penthouse wrote: »

Suffice to say this has been a really interesting topic that many readers have views on, things get murky when we bring money and love into relationships that are not otherwise bound by law. I think it was wise of you to take the subject by the horns and discuss it further with your girlfriend.
Your addition justwondering25 to the dilemma seems a good win win situation, you get to look after your interests by still bringing in some rental income from your investment property but you help her to get on the housing ladder which she may or may not have had the opportunity to have got on without your help. Both your interests are protected, your investments in each other and in the brick and mortar are looked after. Crucially you are working towards the future together and look forward to having a property in both your names rather than her giving money to a property in your name that has been paid off.
Thanks for the interesting post.

Thank you for reading my update on page 1 , it does seem like a fair , business like and loving way of doing things , both of us are happy with the idea and think its been well thought through.

justwondering25

rosybunny06 wrote: »

Ha ha brilliant mrstinchcombe! He sounds like a right tightwad he obviously loves money more than anything else, imagine gurning about his petrol money going to see her and then making out how good he was for not asking her to cover the expense!!!
I would walk over hot coals for a loved one and I wouldn't ask for money to pay for the coal!
Actually he would be better staying single and alone in his mortgage free house, counting his money.
His "dilemma" doesn't reflect very well on his opinion of his girlfriend does it? Has she read this forum I wonder?
Being tight is a distasteful and hateful character trait, Martin Lewis advises being savvy and cautious with our money but I don't think he meant for us all to turn into untrusting tightwads! This has outraged and saddened me, I wish I hadn't read it.

Savvy and cautious with my hard earned is what i had to be to be mortgage free , its all about your take and your opinion on things , thats what makes forums so interesting , thank you for reading.

EC135_mate

How things have changed. I would not ask her to pay rent but would have a "pre nupt" to protect my investments.

jjww_2

Hi Just wondering,

I completely agree with you about your views on children (when they do come into the equation) having to earn and respect the value of money. My eleven year old son knows he has to earn every penny he gets. He works weekends helping out in our own business and gets paid a fair hourly rate plus tips, he does chores at home for his pocket money and any additional chores he does are priced and he is paid accordingly.

He respects all of his belongings as he knows that if he keeps them nice he can sell them on when they are no longer any use to him at car boots, internet auctions etc. and all of the proceeds are his to do as he wants with.

He also buys at least 90% of his own clothing with the money he earns because he realises that money is a commodity that gets you what and where you want out of life but it has to be worked hard for, a lesson I am sure thousands of children and adults in Uk could do with learning!

It is possible to discuss money and come up with practical solutions as you have regarding the situation with your girlfriend and still be in love.

My husband and I run 2 small businesses both of which are successful and have done for the past 12 years we treat every financial aspect like a business deal because whenever money changes hands that is effectively what you have.

Money as all of the MSE posters know is a vital aspect of life and therefore should be discussed thoroughly before any arrangement is entered into. Well done to both you and your girlfriend to have the common sense to see that as well as being financially important to discuss it, doing so early on will prevent any resentment over who pays what or does not pay what from happening.

hopalong53

Ok this is how I see it.... your girlfriend should pay rent and half of the bills. When there are rows about money, love flies out the window. So in order to keep things "clean" and to avoid as much building resentment and bad feeling as possible, it is important for you both to sing from similar hymn sheets in this matter. Negotiations are tough, its not easy. However the very adult thing to do would be for her to pay rent, pay half the bills, (which each of us has to do wherever we live), then if the relationship works out, you could both consider at a later date, the possibility of her purchasing half of your property. That way the house can be classified as jointly owned/shared; leaving you both (hopefully) with a healthy sense of having worked towards something together. The alternative, is to "give away" what you have worked so hard to create for yourself. It sounds like your girlfriend needs to respect this. Stick to your guns as love doesn't equate to giving away your money. The romance of that thought is nice but it is pure fantasy.

A difficult situation to work out but good luck!:)

epm-84

wigglebeena wrote: »

If she should pay the market price for rent, shouldn't he be paying the market price for sex?

Because it's legal and usual practice to ask for rent off someone living in a house you own, it isn't legal and usual practice for her to be a prostitute.

Andy_Anon

My (now ex-partner) was living in rental accomodation. I moved in with her for about three months (I did not need to, it was to be with her and I did not rent out my flat to make money out of this situation). She said I should pay half of the rent which was ok. For the first 6 months she had just equivalently got it free as I spotted that as she was starting a new business up she could claim some money (worked out about the same as the house rent) as a start up which she didn't know. While I was with her, her visiting aunt borrowed my flat for about 6 weeks and paid nothing except the gas/electric and never said thank you - neither did my partner.

Subsequently we moved into my house with no mortgage (sold the flat) (for about a year) and shared the utility bills. I found it interesting that she insisted that I paid part of her rent (on top of utils) for the 3 months I stopped with with her to be nearer, but that she paid nothing towards my house when she moved into it for a year - and gave no thanks whatsoever. She also got about a fifth to a quarter of my time for free for helping her business around the country helping her sell at various shows etc for which I recieved no thanks - indeed she seemed to see it as her right.

So to your question - I think it depends on whether she really recognises and is thankful or just sees it as a way of saving money - which is clearly what my gf did. I would not have minded if she had just said thank you once in a while. Instead she complained about how little I treated her to things (I had taken a career break for a year and was living on equivalently between 800-900/month so not that well off) even though she had my lots of my time helping in her business and had free accomodation (and business premises). Oh, we did share pretty much equally cooking and cleaning etc. I agree treating her once a month to a meal out and occasional flowers is not that often. How often did she offer to treat me to things - never.

So with my experience I personally think that your gf should pay something towards the house - she is after all saving some money by sharing accomodation. If she thinks that she should be freeloading, then you might want to consider where it might end up.

When I moved into a new current house with a new girlfriend and now wife, she bought part of it (equivalently had the mortgage with me so we didnt have an overall mortgage). She was content with this as I had 15 years more working than she, and has been happy that I might retire early and thought that was fair. I love treating my wife to things as she is always so thankful whenever I do (I can afford to do this more often now), as opposed to expecting it as a right - indeed she occasionally gets me meals out which is kind.

interesting_person

Noooooooo! She is your girlfriend after all! There is a limit to money saving!