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question:- I'm mortgage free. should my girlfriend pay me rent ?

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question:- I'm mortgage free. should my girlfriend pay me rent ?

edited 22 May 2010 at 10:24AM in Debt-Free Wannabe
523 replies 97.9K views
justwondering25justwondering25 Forumite
234 posts
Ninth Anniversary 100 Posts
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edited 22 May 2010 at 10:24AM in Debt-Free Wannabe
Okay , so should my girlfriend pay rent ?

we've had a debate about this tonight, she seems to think that I'm profiting from the situation ! , basically to put some figures into this, similar property to rent 600-650 , property value 140k , I said I would not expect half of what the property would rent for , but I said how about let's prentend half the value was in the bank in a high interest account at say 4% , work out the interest and divide by 12 = 250 a month ( plus half of bills) , she still seems to think I'm profiting ! to me it seems fair , she does accept that she should pay something , but has yet to come up with the figure she has in mind.

considering I had to work hard to pay off the mortgage , what should I do ?

she also posed the question , what if we where married with 2 children would I still expect her to pay , after a short thought I said Yes !

well am I been a right old meanie or am I using plain old common sense !

like they say love don't pay the rent , not even on a paid for house etc ! I.M.H.O
_____________________________________________

Insert by Martin

Thanks to justwondering for allowing us to use this as a Money Moral Dilemma - not an easy one - both sides have a lot to go for it. I'm glad to see a question like this - too many move in without considering the financial implications of a relationship and often its one of the biggest causes of it going wrong - plaudits to just wondering for thinking of it.

One note, unlike the theoretical MMDs this is about a real couple, so please be sensitive to that in your answers.

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update for those that may not have time to read the whole thread i posted this on page 13:-

Hi , I'm the original poster , just to make clear a few things for those that have not yet read the whole post.

I live in leeds , i'm self sufficiant , i have ./ soon to of had my own business for 15 profitable years , basically going to adapt my business to be soley internet based , so i'm going to start up a new business and leave the old retail business with my current business partner , the business has no dedt.

I got a ten year mortgage in my early twentys and paid it all off v.quickly , my girlfriend whom i love dealry lives in the west midlands , she does not want to move to leeds (dont blame her lol) because she wants to be close to her family , i visit her every weekend , each way the trip is around 25.00 in diesel etc , no complaints , worth mentioning to show i'm not tight fisted , i owe nobody nothing , no loans , dedts of any kind and i have good savings , one of the many reason i visit her every weekend and not her to me , is that she has 2 lovely cats , that dont take too kindly to travelling 2 hours 15 mins each way , dont blame them.

My girlfriend is currently renting.

I posted this on page 9 :-

Sorry for not logging in for a while ,Ive read through all the comments , ideas and sugguestions and ive put thought into the ideas offered and picked out the best bits for the solution, thank you all , i'm glad to let you all know that me and my girlfriend have pretty much come to a happy and what appears to the two of us to be a amicable agreement in principle.

Basically :-

i would buy a cheaper investment property down in the west midlands (rent my place in leeds also), with a good sized deposit , she would not pay me rent , but based on the market value of the property to rent in its area for e.g 500 , she would put away in a joint account 250.00 each month , this would after say a 2-3 year period give us a deposit for another place , i would then rent out my investment property and we would use the rent/us fund deposit for a joint mortgage , if we did split in the period before we bought a place , then the money would be divided equally among us , which is kinda fair , my girlfriend would not leave with nothing and i would perhaps not feel aggrieved at how the not paying rent idea worked out.

Bills would be 50/50 and my girlfriend would (hope not if things went wrong) have a claim on my property etc. , which she clearly has stated to me she would not want to take anything of mine anyway.

The joint fund can also be used for emergency repairs etc , but with the investment property been mine , i would not expect any of are joint rent/saving funds to go into the doing up of the place.

if when we choose to buy are first joint property , the potential theoretical joint sum after 3 years would be a quiet healthy £9000 (plus interest) we could then if we choose to add equal extra amounts to the £9000 to up are deposit to suit are needs .

We feel this is win win situation for us both , my girlfriend is not stuck in a rent trap and i feel the money is going towards are future for the greater good of us.

I love my Girlfriend , But i feel it is best to sort out the business side of any relationship, business or private life , not thinking through and discussing the idea of paying some form of rent is perhaps to some a elephant in the room , i dont like the smell of elephant dung ! and i dont want it living with us , If any of you feel this is a perhaps a tad cold to have to broach such a subject then that is your choice. But We felt after talking the situation through for the 2nd time the idea will pay dividends and add strenght to are relationship in the long run and will add a firmer base for us.

In conclusion i cant help but feel ,Life is a buisness , Money is the building bricks , Love is the mortar. IMHO
!!!!! Lifes wonderful !!!!!
«13456753

Replies

  • course she should pay if your not married and she is working. if you get married and have a family its a completely different situtaion. Ie would you be the bread winner and she looks after the kids ( what i would want in an ideal world) but again it doesnt pay the bills. Why should she live a free life spending her money on what she pleases and you pay for her water, electricity etc.

    I dont think your being out of order asking for something. If your situation changes then maybe you can think about it again.

    Sorry not much help just my view
  • Put this to her, if you were to rent your house to a family member. You are required to get the rent valued at a commercial rate for tax purposes (not letting family/friends live significantly undervalue) to prevent cash in hand jobs and also for any housing benefit payments.
    I would look for similar properties in the area, and take the lower of the estimates. Even go as far as get an estate agent in to value the property if you really want a true value.

    You can't go on mortgage rates and general interest rates. Although to be honest rent usually is about making profit, but for a few years has been about keeping the buy-to-let mortgages paid (if only interest payments)

    End of the day, if you stay together the money is shared, if you don't no offense you don't want to give her a free ride living rent free.
    Although no trees were harmed during the creation of this post, a large number of electrons were greatly inconvenienced.

    There are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies
  • niccatwniccatw Forumite
    3.1K posts
    Originally, when I saw the title, I thought "off course you should let her live rent free if you love her"... however, reading through your post, it occurred to me that, next on my agenda (after debts are paid off) is overpaying the mortgage as much as I can... if during that time I met any-one, why should they benefit for all my hard work. We all know their are no guarantees in life.

    Besides, what if you needed to release equity or remortgage for some reason? Obviously that would change things.

    Though I appreciate coming to a reasonable compromise about the amount is difficult! I'd probaly take into account wht my OH earned in relation to me and sort something out that way. Though DC's post is, as always, very practical, common sense and based in fact, thereby taking some of the emotion out of the discussion for you both - if that's possible! ;)

    And if the money isn't actually needed for the house, how about putting it into a high interest savings account for home improvements or emergencies or something like that?

    Good luck!
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  • moggylovermoggylover Forumite
    13.3K posts
    okay , so should my girlfriend pay rent ?

    we've had a debate about this tonight, she seems to think that I'm profiting from the situation ! , basically to put some figures into this, similar property to rent 600-650 , propery value 140k , I said I would not expect half of what the property would rent for , but I said how about let's prentend half the value was in the bank in a high interest account at say 4% , work out the interest and divide by 12 = 250 a month ( plus half of bills) , she still seems to think I'm profiting ! to me it seems fair , she does except that she should pay something , but has yet to come up with the figure she has in mind.

    considering I had to work hard to pay off the mortgage , what should I do ?

    she also posed the question , what if we where married with 2 children would you I still expect her to pay , after a short thought I said Yes !

    well am I been a right old meanie or am I using plain old common sense !

    like they say love don't pay the rent , not even on a paid for house etc ! I.M.H.O


    I personally would not take "rent" at all! Reason: if you want to split up then you really do not want her to have any claim at all on your house;). However, I might want 50% of all the bills including the Council Tax, with some adjustment if her income is low perhaps.

    I have actually been in your exact situation (except I am a woman) and I would not have wanted to make any profit whatsoever from my loved one, just that they shared our living expenses:)

    If I were married to you, with two of your children, and you were still expecting me to pay a share of a non-existent rent your anatomy could expect to get re-arranged though:D

    Yep! You may be very MSE: but I certainly don't think you are in love:cool:
    "there are some persons in this World who, unable to give better proof of being wise, take a strange delight in showing what they think they have sagaciously read in mankind by uncharitable suspicions of them"
    (Herman Melville)
  • Charging your girlfriend rent at a commercial rate? What a catch you are!
  • justwondering25justwondering25 Forumite
    234 posts
    Ninth Anniversary 100 Posts
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    It's not a commerical rate , it's a attempt at setting a fair price based on real life factors , I agree when married with two kids etc, but if the worsed happed D.I.V.O.R.C.E as Dolly Parton might say , I wonder who would end up with my house ?

    currently she earns twice as much as me , the amount I suggusted based on external real world factors seems reasonable .

    matters of the heart should not over rule this , as I think that clouds the issue , the idea of putting the money into a bank account and used when needed etc sounds like a good point to make.

    I do love her , but what's fair is fair .
    !!!!! Lifes wonderful !!!!!
  • DumyatDumyat Forumite
    2.1K posts
    Part of the Furniture Mortgage-free Glee!
    ✭✭✭✭
    If I was your girl friend I'd pack my bags. Nothing to do with the money, you'd make me feel like a lodger not your girl friend. I'd be more than happy to split the bills.
    x x x
  • ToomuchdebtToomuchdebt Forumite
    2.1K posts
    I would be happy to split the bills but paying the non existent rent would annoy me just a little bit.
    Debts Jan 2014 £20,108.34 :eek:

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  • If you were sharing rented accomodation she'd pay half the rent but because it's your house she doesn't have to?
    Tell her you're putting the rent into a savings account to pay for your wedding. Don't specify whether the wedding will involve her.
    Get a standard lodger agreement sorted out and have her sign it. If she won't then you could always say that she's only with you for the free accomodation.
    "Gold is the money of kings; silver is the money of gentlemen; barter is the money of peasants; but debt is the money of slaves." - Norm Franz
  • I though the D.I.V.O.R.C.E song was Tammy Wynette?

    Anyway, all I can see is this leading to trouble.
    "Life is a sexually transmitted disease....... with a 100% mortality rate"
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