question:- I'm mortgage free. should my girlfriend pay me rent ?

Johnboy36

I don't pay any rent towards my boyfriend's mortgage. It's his name on it - not mine. Yes, and he does politely remind me about it being HIS house from time to time etc etc...

I try and help towards bills as and when I can. I am in a financial mess right now and trying to get through it. I do buy a lot of the household food etc.

By the way he earns a week what I earn in a month.

My real name isn't John by the way..

I hope you and your girlfriend can sort it out - but if the shoe was on the other foot, what would you think then?

benzondog

I think if you charge rent then why not go the whole hog and charge for every cup of tea, piece of laundry, time spent tidying and everything which can be charged for. If you think hard enough, you'll probably find you can calculate an hourly rate and charge each other that too. If you're lucky, you might still be able to afford each others company.
Less extremely though, I think a token contribution isn't unreasonable - but in proportion to your relative needs and income, and nothing like market rates.

digitalphase

Just seen this!
I can't believe you'd even consider asking your girlfriend for rent! Would she be your lodger, or the woman you love???!!!
Yes 50/50 for all the bills, that goes without saying, but why would anyone charge their partner rent just because they have been fortunate enough to have paid off their mortgage already.

Luckily, my OH would never ask me for rent in that situation - but noway would I stay with a man who would!

Cabbagewhite

I was in a similar position to your's nearly 20 years ago. My boyfriend owned his house outright, whereas I was in an assured tenancy. I earned more than twice as much as him, but I just qualified for council tax benefit etc., before I moved in as I had a six year old child and earned fairly low wages, whereas his were really, really low. From the beginning we treated our income as 'ours' and our outgoings likewise. We maintained individual bank accounts for several years, only combining everything after 3 years together. That was only because he stopped being paid cash (remember wages in cash?!!!).

I think your updated proposals are exactly the right way to go. There are many things that can go wrong with a relationship, from drifting apart to something more extreme (you only have to read some of the other threads on here to see that). Having money to fall back on whether it is for an amicable split or otherwise is not a bad thing. We would all like everything to be 'perfect', but the divorce statistics do not support the 'happy ever after' scenario for a large proportion of people. When we did pre-marriage guidance, we were told that money is the biggest cause of relationship breakdown, way ahead of infidelity. I think sorting it out in advance is a good way to go.

I wish you all the very best. I also think the 'paying for sex' comment was both uncalled for and very offensive.

Little_Miss_Uni-Debt

How about your GF purchasing her own house as she is on a higher salary than you. Then you can sell up, move in with her.

And live rent free of course! ;-)

I think if she was struggling for money then it would be unfair to ask for rent so long as she is financially stable then why not ask for a contribution! Then it's up to her to decide if she puts the money towards living with you or paying her own mortgage where she gets to own the house in the end.

You might not like what she decides though!!

epm-84

justwondering25 wrote: »

the comments are ill informed and under researched , which clearly demonstrates there ingnorance of the situation , which reached a situable conclusion some time ago.

I think because it was included in the MSE weekly email it has meant that millions of people have received the email and some have views but haven't previously had the chance to respond so they want to write a reply.

It could be an idea for a new thread to be set up and base it on a fictious scenario that gives some more details e.g. income and age of both persons and then responders wouldn't be assuming things. In this case most people are probably assuming you are well off as you have paid off your mortage, but that obviously may not still be the case.

Saynoto23

Don't be like me - share your house, sell it after a few months and raise extra funds in your name to buy a property which is more to your partner's taste(!), move to a remote property miles away from family and friends less than 18 months later with the new house and an even more massive mortgage still in your name and buy another property for cash as an investment in his name - and then, a couple of years of misery and his sponging off the residue of your remaining savings later, 'allowing' him to sail off into the sky blue yonder with the cash proceeds of the property which was bought in his name! I am not a fool but I was naive and very trusting - decent people tend to believe that all people are decent! I am still naive but no longer trusting.

So, yes, get things straight from the outset and should things go pear shaped you won't end up lonely and unable to trust anyone again. What is yours now, stays yours - and what you both work for from the point at which you consider yourselves a couple should be shared - expenses, profits and loss in proportions equal to the investment made. Fair's fair and I am sure your girlfriend, if she has any integrity at all, would not wish to be seen to be taking a free ride on your hard earned independence.

jenheiffer

Cabbagewhite wrote: »

I also think the 'paying for sex' comment was both uncalled for and very offensive.

I don't find it any more offensive than the idea of charging someone you are supposed to love 'rent' for the priviledge of living with you as your partner, provided she shares all the genuine expenses (utility bills, etc.) and does her fair share of household chores.

justwondering25

jenheiffer wrote: »

I don't find it any more offensive than the idea of charging someone you are supposed to love 'rent' for the priviledge of living with you as your partner, provided she shares all the genuine expenses (utility bills, etc.) and does her fair share of household chores.

How odd , you think been asked to pay rent is equally offensive as been asked to pay for sex !!!! what utter maddness , i can only LOL at your comment.

Why do you see sex with my g.f as a commodity ? are sex is ares / equal , if i was to sugguest on this forum , that i would charge my g.f for sex , you'd be in uproar , because your female , you see it as your right to be able to make such comments because i'm a man , believe it or not men are just as equal as women , this is modern world that we live in .

Please have some respect.

epm-84

jenheiffer wrote: »

I don't find it any more offensive than the idea of charging someone you are supposed to love 'rent' for the priviledge of living with you as your partner, provided she shares all the genuine expenses (utility bills, etc.) and does her fair share of household chores.

If you read the original post she says it's right for her to contribute for rent but £250 is too much. Therefore unless the OP thinks paying for sex is normal and OK then it's not the same. The OP did also point out that she'd make a 3 figure saving every month by moving in with him - it's not as though she would have paid £250 when she isn't paying anything now.