question:- I'm mortgage free. should my girlfriend pay me rent ?

jamespir

i know were in ahrd times but charging your partner rent is extremly harsh

johncolescarr

nancyjms wrote: »

I have a live-in boyfriend who owned his own house (with mortgage) when we got together. He came to live with me, but as his mortgage was much bigger than mine, we decided he wouldn't pay anything towards rent or any bills, and thus our outgoing were about equal (if not a little in his favour). He then sold his house (with a £75k profit) and decided he would pay me £50 a week towards the bills (which was a 50/50 split), but that he would not pay anything towards my mortgage, as he hadn't in the past. He then quit his job and started living off his money. 6 years later he is still paying £50 a week towards bills and refuses to raise the amount as he doesn't see why he should just because gas/food bills have increased (his reason is: if they dropped again I wouldn't reduce the rent). His proportion of bill payments is now about 35/65. He's got about £30k left, and plans to sit on my sofa for the next 5 years until it runs out, and then think about getting a job (or just living off the state).

Because we didn't sort the finances out properly in the beginning, now (12 years on) there is ill-feeling on both sides.

BTW he also refuses to marry me as "he doesn't believe in marriage", and I am stuck, as I do love him, but I hate the way he treats me financially.

I hope he does all of the household chores if he doesn't work!

Shirleykitten

I am amazed that you want your girlfriend to pay rent. If I was in your position I would just split ALL the bills for the house and ensure you had protection if the relationship fails, in that you both walk away with what you went into it with. How can you charge her for something that you are not paying for yourself?? If I was in your girlfriend's position I would not be moving in with you under those circumstances.
I am a very fair person and what you are suggesting does not sound fair to me.

justwondering25

nancyjms wrote: »

I have a live-in boyfriend who owned his own house (with mortgage) when we got together. He came to live with me, but as his mortgage was much bigger than mine, we decided he wouldn't pay anything towards rent or any bills, and thus our outgoing were about equal (if not a little in his favour). He then sold his house (with a £75k profit) and decided he would pay me £50 a week towards the bills (which was a 50/50 split), but that he would not pay anything towards my mortgage, as he hadn't in the past. He then quit his job and started living off his money. 6 years later he is still paying £50 a week towards bills and refuses to raise the amount as he doesn't see why he should just because gas/food bills have increased (his reason is: if they dropped again I wouldn't reduce the rent). His proportion of bill payments is now about 35/65. He's got about £30k left, and plans to sit on my sofa for the next 5 years until it runs out, and then think about getting a job (or just living off the state).

Because we didn't sort the finances out properly in the beginning, now (12 years on) there is ill-feeling on both sides.

BTW he also refuses to marry me as "he doesn't believe in marriage", and I am stuck, as I do love him, but I hate the way he treats me financially.

Thats a shame that hes not increased the money , i know its in hindsight , but perhaps it should of been talked about once every six months and moved accordingly , the money could of gone up and down if needed , everything has gone up in price , i'd say 50.00 is too little to be honest.

But your situation is what i'm hoping to avoid , sort out the business side of life first then get on with the loving.

free

Dear Poor penniless me,

I understand that your poor and penniless

Why are you at war with God?

I am sure that if you continue to harbour these venomous thoughts towards Him

You will continue to be poor and penniless and poverty wont depart from your family for generations to come

Find God...You know He loves you

xxSaffronxx

free wrote: »

Dear Poor penniless me,

I understand that your poor and penniless

Why are you at war with God?

I am sure that if you continue to harbour these venomous thoughts towards Him

You will continue to be poor and penniless and poverty wont depart from your family for generations to come

Find God...You know He loves you

So because he doesnt believe in god he will be poor forever??? Come on thats like saying he will be punished if he does not believe.

jamespir

free wrote: »

Dear Poor penniless me,

I understand that your poor and penniless

Why are you at war with God?

I am sure that if you continue to harbour these venomous thoughts towards Him

You will continue to be poor and penniless and poverty wont depart from your family for generations to come

Find God...You know He loves you

god loves him everyone else thinks hes a tight wad :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

jenibbean

i think she should, I would if asked too.

you didnt know her when you had the good sense to pay your mortagage early.

Maybe draw up a contact so that in the event of a split you can both walk away with whats legally yours in profit etc.

If she works, she cant expect to live you free/ at a reduced rate. I share with my b/f and friends and i would hate to think i was sponging off any of them.

Saetana

butler1882 wrote: »

course she should pay if your not married and she is working. if you get married and have a family its a completely different situtaion. Ie would you be the bread winner and she looks after the kids ( what i would want in an ideal world) but again it doesnt pay the bills. Why should she live a free life spending her money on what she pleases and you pay for her water, electricity etc.

I dont think your being out of order asking for something. If your situation changes then maybe you can think about it again.

Sorry not much help just my view

I believe it is whether she should pay rent and how much that is the issue here, not bills, as I think it said bills would be shared in any event.

pennypinchUK

Let's look at it from another viewpoint. If she moves in and it all goes sour will she expect to get a share of the house in a financial settlement? Currently the law says she'd have a claim, whether she pays rent now or not. Sadly, with the law as it currently stands, a partner's financial position prior to the relationship starting is irrelevant to what any financial settlement will be.

If there was a mortgage to pay on the property it would be a simple case of her paying her fair share. But there are other costs associated with houses - repairs, maintenance and improvements, etc. And she should certainly be prepared to pay her fair share of those.

There's a compromise here. She pays a fair share of the upkeep of the property. She also pays an agreed sum equivalent to half of what the mortgage would be in to a savings account. After (say) 5 years, if they're still together it becomes joint funds. If they've split up she's got funds to help her get back on her own feet. This would probably need a prenuptual agreement, but it sounds like they're being sensible and having the tough financial conversation at this early stage, rather than a later stage when it could be a lot more difficult if not nasty. Doubtless you'd review the arrangement if you went on to have a child/children together.

Good luck to you both, anyhow.