question:- I'm mortgage free. should my girlfriend pay me rent ?

fingerbob7

In my opinion asking your girlfriend to pay rent when the mortgage is paid off is really unromantic and stingy. Even if she earns more than you, women still want a man to be a provider in some way. What better way than to give her a roof over her head for free. I agree that all bills should be split, and maybe she could pay for something else, as a thank you. Anything else is profiting from her and she will not forget it. If you don't want her to live with you for love, then don't ask her to move in.

If I were her I would be feeling very resentful. I had a boyfriend once ask me to move in with him and suggest I pay rent in his owned house and he was given the boot.

And by the way, the reverse happened when I did once have a partner live with me rent free in my place, and we split the bills. It worked fine.

vl2588

If she moves in and the boiler goes wrong who pays for it? I'm willing to bet it's the house owner. By moving in she is using the boiler (as a single example) so why shouldn't she pay rent (which she can afford) towards things like this?

If she was a low income earner it night be a different matter. When I was on about £7k a year I paid all the bills and my boyf paid the rent and council tax as that seemed fair at the time. I was lucky in that I knew I could trust/rely on him!

kiwigirl49

i think the problem here is the guy's expectation of fairness. ie it is only fair that she pays rent because he worked hard to pay the mortgage off.
I work as a therapist and the idea that life is fair gets you nowhere and leads to bitterness and resentment, and is not applicable in a new relationship. Maybe the best approach is to accept it is not fair.???

immoral_angeluk

Is this still going? :rotfl:

*Jellie*

LittleMissAspie wrote: »

I can't believe this thread is still going, and nobody seems to have noticed that some pages back the OP said
HIS GIRLFRIEND DOES NOT LIVE WITH HIM AND SHE HARDLY EVER VISITS HIS HOUSE
So the whole idea of rent is preposterous and I think it's a troll.

From all his posts it seems they are having a discussion prior to moving in together.
As for whether he is a troll I think the discussion is still beneficial and it is bound to have lots of interest having been included as a moral dilemma in Martin's email

kathryn1501

They also say money can't buy you love. In my experience, couples who have seperate money etc etc & live like you plan to always either split or have a lot of issues & I question do they still love/care for eachother?
If you make your relationship a caring one where you share, money shouldn't be an issue. What's the point in one of a couple being flush & the other being skint? You can't enjoy it the same on your own - meals/holidays alone? Money can also be a power issue which can cause resentment. Try putting some of her wage away towards luxuries like holidays & treats for you both but in my opinion you'll never be happy if you think of yours & her money. It shouldn't matter if you are married or not. Are you sharing your life or looking for a lodger? It comes down to trust in eachother.
Sorry if it sounds too romantic for you but it works for us although we do tend to be skint together then flush together!

vl2588

Some people just aren't like that. I can be romantic but my practical side is stronger!

Cleany

so what if he worked hard to pay his mortgage, is his girlfriend going to give him money to compensate for the past?

his house may have cost him something in the past, but whats that got to do with her? he owns it now and doesnt have to pay for it, so why should she?

mroot84

I've read a couple of pages of replies to this question with interest, I'm 25 and have a bf who does own his own house. We dont live together at the moment, but should that situation ever arise I would have no problem paying him rent. I dont see this as him profitting from me. On the contrary, not paying him rent would mean i profit from him, since my outgoings would be hugely reduced.

I have no doubt that my bf loves me but I would also not be offended if he asked for some sort of legal agreement in place to stop me taking half the house should we split up. Its protecting your own assets and good common sense to ensure we are all protected.

At the same time, I'd have my own personal savings account / contingency fund should anything go wrong.

When marriage / kids come into it, things change - as women our earning capacity is significantly reduced when we leave work for maternity, so contributing to rent would be difficult. At that point I would start pooling the finances.

donal_f

I agree that she should pay rent. However, I can understand how this could be emotive and she could see it as you taking advantage of her. A lot of people don't think as clearly about these matters as people on MSE!

Maybe if you suggested she pay most (or all) of the household bills it would get you to the same result but make it more palatable?