question:- I'm mortgage free. should my girlfriend pay me rent ?

ThinkingOfLinking

Dumyat wrote: »

If I was your girl friend I'd pack my bags. Nothing to do with the money, you'd make me feel like a lodger not your girl friend. I'd be more than happy to split the bills.

SailorSam wrote: »

D.I.V.O.C.E. was originally Dolly Parton but she had to give up the rights to it to Tammy when,
she needed the money to pay half her boyfriends rent.

LOL

rugbymum wrote: »

What a wonderful, gentlemanly chap you are!
RENT????
Bills....50/50 split YES.
Chores 50/50 YES.
But rent????
I know you worked hard to pay off your mortgage etc, but this sounds a bit mercenary, if you think I'm being harsh, let me explain.
I was involved with a guy, I earned twice his salary and had my own house (+ 3 kids).
I expected him to pay helf the bills & do half the chores, but I didn't expect him to pay rent. The house was MINE and I didn't want him to be able to go to a solicitor at a later stage (if it went pear shape) & say that he contributed to the house so had a stake in it. Be VERY careful.

I agree with these posts.:D

LoobyLou1957

As I see the problem here you are suffering from 'small man syndrome' despite the fact that you have managed to buy a home (by the way you don't say whether this is an extremely desirable mansion type property or a modest two bed semi) your G/f if you can really call her that, is earning THREE times what you earn. Clearly you have an issue with her earnings being higher than yours and you feel the need to punish her by charging her rent.

The only sensible thing to do, if you two really do want to be together, and from her point of view I can only see cons rather than pros, is for her to buy a house with her three times higher earnings and charge you rent! You get to keep your house, either rented out, or sold and the money invested and she gets a house of her own which you contribute towards as after all you would be living in her house! This would also resolve the issue of her not wanting to move away from her current area, and also not jeopardise her larger earnings by having to look for a new job in this current financial climate. Then when you split because she really cannot put up with your penny pinching meanness anymore, she has a house, you have a house and everyone is happy.

I was once engaged to a man who earned obscene amounts of money, and being semi disabled I am not able to work, but guess what, all the while the government was keeping me that was fine by him, but if we were to marry he wanted me to find work even though even the government agreed I was unfit to do so, and he had so much money to throw around that he used to complain he found it difficult to spend... you can guess where he ended up..... yep on his own!

thsths

butler1882 wrote: »

course she should pay if your not married and she is working.

I agree - the mortgage has nothing to do with it, because he provides housing and shelter. So if you think this is a temporary relationship, for all means charge here market rent, maybe with a friendly discount. You can save the money for some joint occasion if it makes you feel better about it.

If you are in for the long term, pool all your possessions, sell her half of the house, or make it a gift - at least informally.

That being said, living together with someone who has a very difficult attitude to money can be extremely annoying. We don't know much of the details, but it is certainly one of those big warning signs. There are different ways of budgeting as a couple, but do proceed with extreme prejudice.

But what I really want to know is how the discussion would have panned out if she had owned the house! :-)

jonesy76

Put it all in a savings account - if all does work out go on holiday or get married on it?

mattcanary

Don't think you should charge her rent.
Hopefully, your life will have improved for the better because your girlfriend has moved in. That should more than compensate for the extra money you have paid in the past towards your mortgage to pay it off. If it doesn't, I suggest you are not really in love, are quite possibly looking for a meal ticket and should end the relationship anyway.
Money is only money, love is so much more important at the end of the day.

Of course, each of you should contribute to bills and running expenses, on something along the lines of what you both earn. However, I don;t recommend getting a calculator out and working out exactly to the last penny what each person should pay. That seems very cold and soulless to me.

I do however, think it is sensible for each of you to keep your own bank account with some money in it to help you out if you do split up in future. Although couples may well be in love, that doesn;t guarantee remaining together until you both die (obviously). That seems to me to be a sensible precaution but I think that is as far as it should go.

I think it is irrelevant if the roles were reversed. I think things should be the same that way round too.

Just my twopennies worth!

irishrugbyfan

This situation is very similar to my own - but I am the girlfriend. When my OH asked me to move in, I was very wary about the financial situation as I did not want to appear as getting a free ride. I happily signed an agreement that I would stake no claim on his property, as I am with him for him, not his house or money. However, I have still benefited financially as I am paying half the bills plus a little extra (£300 a month ), which is WAY less then when I lived by myself (nearly £900 :eek: a month in total).
It still comes up occasionally that 'its his house, his rules etc' but usually just in frustration and the heat of the moment. Luckily he has a really nice house decorated in the same fashion as I would, so there aren't many arguments on that front .

Eventually we are going to look to buy a house, with my name on the mortgage and rent his out, so that if we do split, we each have our own property to fall back on.

welshspender

Like most posts I was horrified :eek:that you wanted to charge your partner RENT ! but after I calmed down and thought about it , Its just asking for trouble not too.

HOWEVER this rent should be a figure that you both agree to ( I think about £250 pcm depending on her salary) and should be put into a savings account maybe for a special holiday / wedding / home improvements. That way you wouldn't resent her for living for free but also she wouldn't have any claim on your home if you split up !!

My now husband had our home when I met him although it was mortgaged I paid him £100 pcm plus half of bills and shopping every month ( My salary was just £650pcm when we met) . What I didn't know was this money I was giving him he just put into savings and when we married it paid for our honeymoon.

As for if you married and had kids hell NO !!!!! I gave up work when I had my little boy and OH was main breadwinner I didn't have any money to give ! Besides which when you marry you share everything if you really want to protect your assets get a pre-nup !!! Although if my hubby had suggested it I don't' think we would be married now :rotfl:come to think about it i don't think he would be here now:rotfl:

aliasojo

MiserlyMartin wrote: »

Love doesn't pay the bills.


Its terrible that someone can work hard for years and see it robbed from them in the name of love. Love is blind and it seems it is blinding a lot of you from sensible precautions.

1) Of course it doesn't. No-one is advocating the lady in question should get a completely free ride. But nor should she pay a 'bill' that isn't there in the first place. (Imo.)

2) I agree with your thoughts but charging rent is not the best way to go about protecting his assets. If anything it will only allow her more of a claim. The OP should have sought legal advice in order to ensure his home was protected in the event of a break up, no-one would have blamed him for being careful. As it was, he simply came across as money grabbing. (Sorry OP.)

kellyv2011

Yes Yes Yes...she should! I am sure if it were the other way around, she would expect you to pay something (and BTW I am a female so am not biased on men/women in anyway).

Unfortunately in life, you can't live anywhere without paying some form of living expenses (rent/mortgage) so why should she not contribute. I would ensure that you are water tight from a legal perspective if all doesn't work out in your favour as a couple (you are set to lose a lot) but I think the main thing is to try not to let this dominate your lives for too much longer.

My advice....make a decision that she will pay rent, sign some basic agreement to this effect, set up a direct debit from her account to yours and then forget about it! You can then relax and just enjoy being together as a couple without continuing to let it worry either of you.

I would suggest that rather than reason the discussion based on facts and figures (she possibly leaning on the more emotional, principle based views on this) - trying reasoning this with facts and figures about house prices etc. probably would not be helpful). Instead, agree a 'rent' at a level you are both happy with, albeit I would suggest lower than possibly the 'standard' rate that someone living as your roomie would pay, which may soften the blow. Then put this money aside into a savings account which you can then use for future things such as house repairs, marriage etc.

Not an easy situation, but resolvable.... Good Luck!

trying_2_b_good

If she is earning twice as much as you and has not rent / mortgage to pay, then what is she doing with all of her money?! Spending it on clothes and pampering herself?!

If I was in this situation, I'd WANT to contribute something. Ste up a joint savings account and ask her to put in £200 a month. She can have her own savings account for any more that she might have. You can contribute to the joint savings if you ever have any spare. Use it for wedding/ holiday / house fixing as suggested earlier.

If she says no, then ask her if she is willing to buy a new washing machine if it breaks, a new carpet when dirty shoes ruin the old one etc. Tell her this would be much easier if she was saving now!

If she doesn't want to do above, then it's her that needs dumping and not the other way around!

DON'T go the way of solicitors, getting house valued etc. That is too formal, and you need this relationship to be built on trust. It's like the whole pre-nup argument!

Alternatively - she does all of the food shopping and you never pay for a Tesco run etc?!

Curious as to whether she knows about this and is reading it...???