question:- I'm mortgage free. should my girlfriend pay me rent ?

jazmad

I think you've worked out the upper limit of what you can charge her (half the market rate) in a reasonable way. If you want to agree a figure below this, then your logic re: savings account is as good as any other.

However, the fact this is a notional cost does seem a little harsh. Fair enough, you have worked hard and made sacrifices to pay off your mortgage. However, if you're starting a life together it seems reasonable that you would share your things.

Taking a slightly silly example, if she has a computer and you don't, I assume you would expect her to let you use the computer without charging you half the lease cost. A house may be more money but if you love her the principal should be the same.

In response to some comments, I very much doubt charging her reasonable rent would give her any claim on the property in the event that you split up.

karen34

No one lives rent free, surely she is paying rent where she lives now so what is the difference. If it doesn't work out with her can I move in rent free!!!!!!!

mattcanary

Just a thought - if OP does charge rent, surely he is profiting from the situation as there is no rent to be paid!!!!
Saving money in a savings account. That seems sensible in any situation when there is surplus income coming in. Yes no problem with that, but getting a rent book out as some have suggested, come on - you've got to be having a laugh!

Upon thinking about it further - this is totally money-grabbing and in no way should a relationship be based on this. If I was in the girlfriend's shoes, I would soon kick boyfriend into touch if he pursued this line. How much would he really came about me??!!

epm-84

Another way round could be she pays the utility bills in full. She benefits from not paying rent and the owner benefits from not paying utility bills.

SofaChi

If i were you, i would agree to go halves on the bills and food and maintenance of the house etc from now on but i don't think it's reasonable to ask her to pay rent. (but only go halves on the bills if you actually end up living together, which you have said you don't at the moment).

Either that or rent your property out and get a new place together, go 50/50 on everything at the new place and keep the rent money from your first property to yourself.

If you get married then you can draw up a pre-nup to stop her from getting the house should you get divorced and if you died you could leave the house to her in your will if you wanted to.

But i have to say that i agree with one of the other posters on here, is this love?! Your posts paint you as a 40-something, money-pinching cynic who earns less than his girlfriend and treats all interactions in life as business transactions. What makes you so sure she wants to marry you and have your babies - ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

money_saving_fan_3

justwondering25 wrote: »

Okay , so should my girlfriend pay rent ?

we've had a debate about this tonight, she seems to think that I'm profiting from the situation ! , basically to put some figures into this, similar property to rent 600-650 , propery value 140k , I said I would not expect half of what the property would rent for , but I said how about let's prentend half the value was in the bank in a high interest account at say 4% , work out the interest and divide by 12 = 250 a month ( plus half of bills) , she still seems to think I'm profiting ! to me it seems fair , she does except that she should pay something , but has yet to come up with the figure she has in mind.

considering I had to work hard to pay off the mortgage , what should I do ?

she also posed the question , what if we where married with 2 children would you I still expect her to pay , after a short thought I said Yes !

well am I been a right old meanie or am I using plain old common sense !

like they say love don't pay the rent , not even on a paid for house etc ! I.M.H.O

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Insert by Martin

Thanks to justwondering for allowing us to use this as a Money Moral Dilemma - not an easy one - both sides have a lot to go for it. I'm glad to see a question like this - too many move in without considering the financial implications of a relationship and often its one of the biggest causes of it going wrong - plaudits to just wondering for thinking of it.

One note, unlike the theoretical MMDs this is about a real couple, so please be sensitive to that in your answers.

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I suppose if you purchased a house together you would jointly pay the mortgage but then you would both share in any gain on selling. It really is a difficult one this. Could your girlfriend consider paying more for a different aspect for example the annual holiday, treats, decorating, furnishings instead of rent?
As a couple you will need to sort this out in an agreeable manner for you both and you don't want either party feeling short changed. Are you both working full time, earning similar salaries? It is all a matter of fairness and consideration to each others needs. Good Luck and enjoy your new lives together.

therixonator

Blimey, if she's moving in then surely this is a serious relationship so you're not looking to get rid of each other anytime soon. So she pays you rent every month, what are you gonna do with it? Buy a sofa for you both to sit on, sort out a holiday for you both to go on. Face facts early, once you live together it's basically all the same money. Tell here to keep some back for whatever she wants to do, you keep some back for your fun, and put the rest in a joint a/c to pay all the bills and buy stuff for the place. If you don't trust her, why is she moving in?

PollyLL

To the original poster & whoever else is interested:

I'm a London landlord as a full time living. If I were living alone in my own place with low expenses and had a girlfriend wanting to move in, I'd consider the following:

- Does she want to move in more than I want her to?
- What is her motivation - the chance to save money?
- What is my motivation - I like her, but do I see a big future or do I hope for income and company?
- Is she the woman I want to have children with, do I value her that much, does she value me that much?
- Do I NEED her rent? Does she have excess income and can easily afford it?

When I knew the answers to these and whatever similar questions came up, I'd make a choice which was dependant on what future I saw for the relationship. If I knew she was the one, I'd share my place willingly and look to foster a sharing relationship leading to marriage. If you would consider marrying her, you should consider whether she's the type of person who wants to share all with you (ie for example, your incomes would go into the pot together in a real marriage, so why should the question of rent after marriage be on the table unless you're both only considering yourself?).

At the end of the day, changing from a selfish money driven view to a selfless caring and sharing view is not an easy transition because none of us want to be cheated and being too generous in a relationship can sometimes show weakness that the other person loses respect for you over. But being too strong, in my opinion, will mean you're not genuinely asking yourself whether this is the right person for you in the long term.

If you don't feel she might be right, keep thinking commercially. However if that's the way you are thinking, then I suggest she shouldn't move in at all. In the meantime, if it's a blossoming caring/sharing relationship, then a contribution from her that keeps you both happy will find it's own level over time, so maybe you should just leave it to chance and see what happens.......

Hope you found something useful in here.

Missypooks

I am in a similar situation with my OH, it's his flat I have moved into. Currently, I pay rent and 1/2 bills but this wasn't always the case and I agree that this should be sorted out early on.

When we first moved in together I didn’t pay anything more than a small contribution to the bills (his decision) and it led to an inequality in our relationship as I felt that I owed him, I tried the cleaning approach, but then I felt like a skivvy and less like his GF. I also felt like the flat wasn’t part of “us” and I felt like I couldn’t be totally at home there, and he too, despite it being his choice, got resentful and in arguments the point would always come up.

Nowadays, we have it sorted. I earn less than him so I contribute 2/3 valued rent, ½ bills and I look after the shopping bills (mainly because I insist on doing the shopping J). Things are much more balanced and the place now feels like “ours” because it’s a more even contribution between us. He’s worked hard in his past to afford this and I would never expect a “free-ride” because of this. And personally, it is up to my OH what he does with the rent I give him, as it would be with any other lodger, but yes it does frequently go towards home improvements or treats for us.

If the relationship changes - engagement/marriage/kids, then I would expect this arrangement to change to, i.e. some stake in the value of the house, as it then would be "our" future. But if marriage is definitely on the cards, then I would wait until that happened before we discussed the options then.

Glad to see that she is keen to pay something, let’s hope you can come up with a balance between what you both expect.

epm-84

planning_ahead wrote: »

Assuming she moves in with you and pays something - what will happen if a few years down the line you split up. Could she possibly have a claim to a share in the property as you were in a relationship and she was contributing to the property?

I don't know the answer to my question - just thought it was something you need to consider.

No it's rent not buying a share in the property.