question:- I'm mortgage free. should my girlfriend pay me rent ?

mroot84

fingerbob7 wrote: »

In my opinion asking your girlfriend to pay rent when the mortgage is paid off is really unromantic and stingy. Even if she earns more than you, women still want a man to be a provider in some way. What better way than to give her a roof over her head for free.

Any of my friends and myself would disagree with this wholeheartedly, it seems really unfashioned to assume that a man should provide for a woman.

We are all equals and should act as such!

Cleany

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvzTV6wfkvA

Thegreatestislove

justwondering25 wrote: »

It's not a commerical rate , it's a attempt at setting a fair price based on real life factors , I agree when married with two kids etc, but if the worsed happed D.I.V.O.R.C.E as Dolly Parton might say , I wonder who would end up with my house ?

currently she earns twice as much as me , the amount I suggusted based on external real world factors seems reasonable .

matters of the heart should not over rule this , as I think that clouds the issue , the idea of putting the money into a bank account and used when needed etc sounds like a good point to make.

I do love her , but what's fair is fair .

What an interesting question and what unusual standards you live by. I see how difficult life becomes when we try to work out moral decisions on the basis of other people's opinions.

I wish to live by the maker's instructions which advocates making a total joining of assets before you move in together. Love being a lifetime decision rather than a barometer of emotional commitment.

After 26 years of happy marriage I am very grateful for the advice I received as a teenager to wait for someone who was happy to enter marriage with the same lifetime view and without any trial periods or testing out beforehand.

To help with your question.... it seems to me that the financial aspects of your relationship are paramount in your thinking. Maybe that it is typical today. By posing your question for this forum you are seeking some popular wisdom that may help sway your girlfriend's views. This is a risky step to take if you are serious about the relationship.

As you are happy to take this kind of risk would you be equally happy to take a risk on deciding to make this lady a permanent fixture in your life? If so you may wish to see the free sharing of your home as a wise investment. Equally, your girlfriend may respond to your unselfish approach by warming to the idea of a lifetime investment in you.

It's just a thought.

Ebenezer_Screwj

The fact that the house is paid for is irrelevant to their relationship and the girl's new status as a "live-in girlfriend". They should however consider a division of living expenses.

Kirstiana

I have to say I'm appalled that you even have to consider charging your girlfriend rent on a property where there is none?!? You don't have to pay rent so why should she?
Obviously, you have done very well and worked very hard to be mortgage free, but why should your girlfriend pay a penalty for not being with you then? You obviously think she's getting a free ride from you, which is just not true. If she was with you during the mortgage paying years, then she would have contributed but she wasn't so don't penalise her for that. She would have been living in her own place paying rent/ or a mortgage.
There should be no problem with splitting bills, overheads, chores etc etc 50/50 as that's what any normal couple would do, and I think that you suggesting that she does ALL the chores is unreasonable also.
As another person suggested above why not agree a price that you BOTH pay and put it into a savings account for you both to benefit from in the future, or for house repairs/ redecoration?
It seems to me there are bigger issues here than just paying for a mortgage that's paid off... what happens if she does marry you, have your children and you both decide that she won't go back to work to look after them are you going to make her pay rent etc even thought she has no income?
She is your girlfriend, who you should love and respect, not your cleaner or a lodger. I think you should show her this discussion thread and see what she says.

GreenMan

Cleany wrote: »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvzTV6wfkvA

Thanks for that - made my morning. But in the case of the OP the answer is 'no'.

Though I've heard that a recently discovered missing lyric goes:

'so I am willing and able..
to charge you for using the table'

'we'll share the shelter...
at a reasonable commercial rate'

'and Jah (me) shall provide the bread...
(but only the wheat based kind ofcourse not any monetary arrangement you understand)'

'I wanna love ya....
As long as petrol costs don't get to high in which case I will have to reconsider'

GM

rosie.harness

Well, you did ask. You're being mean.

deedee71

mroot84 wrote: »

I've read a couple of pages of replies to this question with interest, I'm 25 and have a bf who does own his own house. We dont live together at the moment, but should that situation ever arise I would have no problem paying him rent. I dont see this as him profitting from me. On the contrary, not paying him rent would mean i profit from him, since my outgoings would be hugely reduced.

I have no doubt that my bf loves me but I would also not be offended if he asked for some sort of legal agreement in place to stop me taking half the house should we split up. Its protecting your own assets and good common sense to ensure we are all protected.

At the same time, I'd have my own personal savings account / contingency fund should anything go wrong.

When marriage / kids come into it, things change - as women our earning capacity is significantly reduced when we leave work for maternity, so contributing to rent would be difficult. At that point I would start pooling the finances.

I think you should remember that while you would be paying rent you wouldn't be accruing any equity, and when/if you have kids you may be reducing your pension contributions too.

I was married for 10 years (with a pre-nup) and despite ploughing all my savings/earnings into our home and raising 3 children, it was the court's decision that "I had been fed and clothed during that time" and my ex had kept me, therefore I left my marriage with literally my clothes and nothing else.

At mid 30's I had no equity, no pension and no savings and have had to start over, no financially better off than if the previous decade hadn't happened.

I would advise any young woman to think carefully about her future and protect herself.

Cleany

Kirstiana wrote: »

I think you should show her this discussion thread and see what she says.

what a fantastic idea

Cleany

greenman wrote: »

thanks for that - made my morning. But in the case of the op the answer is 'no'.

Though i've heard that a recently discovered missing lyric goes:

'so i am willing and able..
To charge you for using the table'

'we'll share the shelter...
At a reasonable commercial rate'

'and jah (me) shall provide the bread...
(but only the wheat based kind ofcourse not any monetary arrangement you understand)'

'i wanna love ya....
As long as petrol costs don't get to high in which case i will have to reconsider'

gm

__________
:-)