question:- I'm mortgage free. should my girlfriend pay me rent ?

SusiH

Personally I think its stingey charging rent when you've no mortgage to pay. Yes, 50/50 on all other bills is fair.

LilacPixie

I disagree on the 'paying rent' bit. I have a home that I bought before OH. We live here together. If I did the half market rate rent type thing then he would be paying more than the actual mortgage costs in total. I can totally see why the GF thinks he is profiting from her.

I think she should pay 50% of the housing costs and bills. There is no rent or mortgage so there is nothing to split in that respect.

money_saving_fan_3

justwondering25 wrote: »

the situation :- we've been together for two years , we live around 2 hours away from each other , but see each other every weekend ( me doing the traveling 99 % of the time at my cost never asked for a bean in fuel , she has 2 cats and can't leave them at weekends) i stay at her place, she does not ask me for rent for the weekend but I have the travelling costs so alls fair there.

I would be either selling my place to buy a place down where she lives and then buy a place down there or buy a 2nd place , rent out first place etc mortgage on 2nd place, as she wants to be around her family.

I guess I'm a real horrible loveless individual !

Not necessarily, some people just worry more about money affairs, but if you love each other and want to be together you will overcome problems and work out a situation that you are both happy with. There are always concerns in such situations if you are realistic. Remember that relationships are more important than money but money is a useful neccessity.

Consider what you both need and can afford and the other things that are important to you both. Eventually it would maybe be good to buy a new place together but for the Short term and to see how things pan out moving onto yours seems sensible. I think I would avoid the rent issue but share costs of living. At least legally this will protect your situation if she were to leave after a couple of years. Eventually buying a home together will be a good bonding experience. How exciting...enjoy..

flower11

pineapple wrote: »

If I was that girlfriend I would be down the road faster than you could say 'rent book'. Paying a fair share of the bills is one thing. Charging rent is something else. Kinda puts her on the level of a lodger. Maybe she should set a counter charge for 'services rendered'. Life is a business after all....
PS Looking at the timing of the original post - was this an April Fools Joke eh?

If you want her to pay rent ... remember one of the unwritten rules of life ... don't sleep with the landlord ... the balance of power in the relationship then becomes sooooo wrong!

squeakysquirrel

Hi there,
why are you asking your girlfriend to live with you?

If it's because you need/want an extra income, why not just get a lodger. If it's because you want to share with her only, then why is that - what do you hope to gain from her presence????

Think about it and then ask yourself if it's fair to charge her for living with you, if you don't pay her for what you gain out of the situation - ie. her company, probable domestic chores, etc.

Frankly, if I were your girlfriend I'd pay the rent (and shared bills), then charge you fees for my availability, just like a geisha. I'd have to have my own room of course and would visit you in your room or shared space in the house. You'd have to pre-book my company and I'd charge for conversation, making dinner, setting table, decor imput, musical imput, and every sexual service provided, plus dating too of course (attending functions). I think that would make it clear to you how much you were getting out of the situation.

My point is that if you treat her (or anyone) as a commodity or source of income, don't expect to be treated as a revered companion in return!

Why live with someone if you are not prepared to commit to a proper relationship - just share with a lodger or live alone and invite girlfriends etc over for short stays. You seem to want the advantages of a partner without the trust or commitment. Obviously you are not ready for a lifetime relationship and this girlfriend is clearly not someone you really trust or want to remain with, so setting up house with her as your lodger is asking for trouble - don't do it. I have lived with someone for almost 25 years and I can tell you that if we'd been keeping a balance sheet, we'd have split up years ago. Over the long term, I expect it probably works out about evens but to do such a thing to someone is totally lacking in trust.

Anyway, have fun with your girlfriend and get a lodger for loot!
Best of luck,
L.

jojo2004

boliston wrote: »

I would not be happy having to pay more than 50% of the bills just because I earn more. You could take the same argument to other situations, like a supermarket could decide to charge more for a joint of meat if someone earns more and charge less if someone is not earning much.

So presumably you don't agree with tax banding then? I'm fascinated - because I'm not sure I do either. Earning more or less CAN be a choice (although obv not always before everyone leaps on me), why should that choice cost you more?
I guess it's the old 'From each according to his means, to each according to his needs' argument - does it work?

bulletproof_1979

To be honest I don't think you're in a real relationship until you stop seeing "my money" and "her money" - and start seeing "our money". I'm not sure that the OP is ever going to reach this point.

j999_2

It's not a free ride but it's not the same as a lodger. Make a deal with her. She doesn't have to pay rent (and subsequently can sign something to have no entitlement to the house in event it doesnt work out) but she can pay the utility bills etc. This is likely to be cheaper than rent for her, and you wont have to pay them and can bank the money you would have spent. Everyone wins.
A lodger agreement is insulting!
:T

spangle.kitten

I suggest you seek legal advice, generally, and suggest it would be sensible to get a co-habitation agreement drawn up. Co-habitation can open up a whole can of worms - google "constructive and resulting trusts" if you want an idea.

Personally, I think that she should be liable for half the outgoings on the property - that's fair. Rent...no. That makes her a lodger, or housemate, not a girlfriend, and if my partner asked me to pay rent I would be out of that relationship.

Seriously though, money issues are one of the main reasons couples split up. I suggest you also seek relationship councilling to resolve this issue.

GreenMan

I don't know if the OP has stopped reading and we're all just talking amongst ourselves as I haven't read all 13 pages or so.

I wonder, if the OP feels its fair to charge his gf for the wealth he has created before he met her, whether it would be appropriate should his gf get a well-paid job that she charge him for her education that she received before they met? This would only be fair surely as he is profiting from the investment that she made before they met.

Or taking it a step further perhaps he could place some kind of monetary value on her love and they could agree a figure that would be perhaps an hourly rate for love?

Would that be around the minimum wage or are we looking at £10 an hour or so?