question:- I'm mortgage free. should my girlfriend pay me rent ?

cycling_widow

Hmmm, I moved in with my boyfriend (now husband) as part of a long term commitment to our relationship and a big move back to London selling our respective properties north of Watford. We shared the rent and all the bills and outgoings. We also got a joint account. When we bought our house using the profits of the above, my contribution was at least double his, but this was never a factor. We are now married with two children and I have chosen to be a stay-at-home mum. Finance is rarely an issue in our household, the chores on the other hand are a constant thorn in both our sides!

My pennyworth for your situation:

If you are moving in together one hopes this is because you love each other and not just as a convenience. If it as flatmates then yes I think you should charge a rent accordingly plus bills, but as girl/boyfriend this is a big step in a relationship and should be treated accordingly - no rent, split bills for everything including maintence of the property Good luck and congratulations

kim_ta22

I think that whether you're married or not, her money and your money are separate entities. This is to protect either party, should things go sour. It's not being unromantic or pessimistic. It's being realistic. Money can create a lot of bad air between friends and family. So the best way to avoid relationship conflicts is to be fair from the start. It also gives either party the freedom to spend on anything they want without worrying about whether the other party is going to get upset or criticising their choices, so long as the spending does not affect the joint account/common welfare.

My parents were interesting examples. They both have personal accounts for which their income is deposited. They both contribute to a common household account, based on the ratio of income (ie my dad earned 3x more than my mum, so he contributed as such). My mum already owned a house outright when they first started dating, and Dad contributed rent & did his share of the housework for the 7 years that they'd been living there. When they finally saved up enough to put a deposit on another house, my mum's house remained hers. She still collects rent on the house and my dad does not get any portion of the income from it. She worked hard to be able to afford that house, while my dad's income for all the years prior to their meeting, went elsewhere (in his case, supporting his siblings, but it could've easily been spent on endless partying, expensive cars etc instead of investing).

When you're married, the ideal situation would be to buy a house together, with joint ownership where the both of you contribute to the mortgage. So in your case, while you're still dating, she should be happy to pay rent and have no claim on your house if things don't work out (a tenant has no claim for ownership of a house, whether or not he/she has been living there for several years and paid enough to cover the landlord's mortgage entirely). If and when you get married, then the least complicated thing would be to either sell the house to buy a bigger one together, or work out an arrangement where she pays the council tax on the property for the next however many years it works out to equal half the cost of the house, and give her 50% ownership.

I'm not suggesting that one should be calculative about everything, but something as big as house ownership and bills should be fairly split. Little things like gifts, meals out, etc should be a give and take situation in my opinion.

You say she earns 3 x more than you do. She's expecting a lot out of you for wanting to live rent and bills free. (Could be a test, btw! You could be in trouble if she finds out that you posted this online, if it was indeed a test of "how much do you love me".)

Good luck!

bchirpy

Well I agree with all those people who think that she should pay half the bills but not rent! I think if she pays rent it will just cause negative feelings, she has no claim on your house - or why not move into another property and both stick an equal amount in, its then both of yours and definately fair:o

Cleany

epm-84 wrote: »

She is gaining by not paying rent.

you say that as if she has caused some kind of misbalance that must be corrected by giving some of that money to her boyfriend?

if she moves in rent free she is gaining in the same way that her boyfriend is gaining. they are both then gaining in the same way from the fact that the boyfriend owns the house. if he doesnt want her to participate fully in the fortunes and work that has made up his life up until now, then that's not an equal relationship.

justwondering25 wrote: »

Life is a buisness , Money is the building bricks , Love is the mortar.

dont know whether to laugh or cry at that

savingwannabe

Dear JustWondering,

oh my gosh i am sorry if i upset you. I hope people have been able to help you.

have a good day,

:j

peterH1967

Now I am happily married..but if I was to be single, eg death or divorce...and was effectively homeless..then I meet some crazy sexy young chick who desires me (not likely but I live in hope).

So if I moved in with this new lady, I wouldn't need to know whether or not she has mortgage, I would pay MY WAY, i wouldn't expect to live in a house, any house, her house, your house, a house made of straw or sticks or bricks, i wouldn't expect to live there FOR FREE.

I would expect to pay half the essential bills, but I would also pay a "rent" as I am in effect renting use of the space in which I am now living. Now if my rent goes in her private cash account or goes to pay her mortgage or she gives it to The Sally Army, I wouldn't and shouldn't know or care.


Some replies have indicated that if they were asked by a boyfriend to pay rent, they tell him to stick and would rather pay for somewhere else !! So, in effect, they have no objection to paying a "rent" to someone for the right to live in another property, but they want to live "rent free" in a property that belongs to a boyfriend !!!

justwondering25

[QUOTE=Cleany;31846351

Life is a buisness , Money is the building bricks , Love is the mortar. IMHO

dont know whether to laugh or cry at that[/QUOTE]

unfortunatly , Money is the 2nd biggest fact of life. ! sobering is'nt.

Gingernut1101

I have been in a similar situation and empathise with the dilemma. The resolution we came to was I contributed towards half the bills but did not pay rent. I did however set up a saving fund that we used for holidays and big purchases. As I was using my 'rent savings' to make other contributions towards the house hold expenses, we agreed to have the house valued at the time of me moving in and I signed an agreement saying I had no claim on the house up to the market value at the time. Any profit over and above this amount we would share if we broke up.

I agree that in a situation like this love and commitment should come first but I have found that if you both have very different views on money then it's best to get a fair compromise on financial contributions before it's too late. You worked hard for your home and you should protect your investment to a certain extent....especially if she earns 3 times your salary. Good luck!

Cleany

justwondering25 wrote: »

Life is a buisness , Money is the building bricks , Love is the mortar. IMHO

dont know whether to laugh or cry at that

unfortunatly , Money is the 2nd biggest fact of life. ! sobering is'nt.

Life isn't a business, in any sense

peterH1967

Directly to Justwondering25,

As you see, many many views. You will find the way that SUITS YOU, it has been a very interesting dilemma though. I know what I would do hypothetically but you must deal with it according to your own views.

Good luck fella