Lose weight 29

Missy™

Congrats on the great losing & maintaining this week! :j

DMV have a great 21st, enjoy your celebrations and your week off from the chart ;). Make the most of it!

I'm considering moving my 'maintain range' a little higher up the scale. My body fat is low - it's right on the cusp of underfat & healthy but will soon be 'underfat' (I'm moving up an age bracket where a bit more fat is apparently healthy). I've been struggling all year to lose 2kg, but I feel great, healthy & energetic and I'm still the size 8 that I want to be, so I'm thinking why not just accept it and maintain within BMI 20.5 - 21.5 instead of 20 - 21? The only thing that worries me is if I increase it now, will it be all too easy to increase it again if, say, a year or two from now I'm struggling at the top end of THAT range!!! Or perhaps I should use 'body fat' as my only measurement, in which case I'm still in good shape regardless of overall weight/BMI. Ho hum, decisions.

vixarooni

Missy: I say maintain within the 20.5 - 21.5 bracket. Perhaps its been so hard to shift it because you shouldnt. Size 8 is a perfectly good size, you say your happy so why fix something that isnt broken!

DMV: Happy 21st for friday!!! Have a lovely day and enjoy it as much as you can, before you know it you'll be wishing youre 21 again

Victory: I wasnt a teenager that long ago, so i can remember my mindset still. Back then i would moan my mum didnt buy me things like other mums did, or give me pocket money ect, but then you kinda forget that she pays for my car insurance... its funny how the mind works as a teenager, if its not tangiable (sp?) then you alsmost forget about it. You dont realise how hard your mum works to make sure you live in a clean house and have clean clothes, and goes to work to pay for treats for you. I suppose its that time when youre getting older and youre more self aware, theres the pressure to be like everyone else, have what everyone else has, because if you dont theres no reason for anyone to talk to you. Say your son had an iphone, at school everyone would come up to him to talk about the phone, if he doesnt have one and his best mate did, all eyes are on the best mate and hes the cool one. Of course he blames this all on you, and one day he will realise how hard it is to go to work and have to live off his own wage. Im trying to help in the only angle i can, but try not to take it to heart, i think every teenager goes through this to some degree or another.

Brighton_belle

got to dash to wok but couldn't read and run....Victory, i'm so sorry this must be awful. Hang on in there. I think he'll be back, but you did the right thing IMO to withdraw everything you do. You can't allow him to speak to you like aworthless piece of dirt. Just not acceptable. I hope there is a smigeon of comfort inknowing Sary has just been through the same. My colleague at work ditto.

PepPop

Victory - sending you Hugs hun. Is there anymore news?

Eric - good luck today

Happy Birthday for tomorrow DMV - have a great one.

I weighed myself this morning and I've gained 0.25lb. I know I'm too late for the chart but I just wanted to note it.

beanielou

victory~Hope things sort them selves out soon.
16 is a truely auful age.
Exam stress doesent help.

sarymclary

Victory - as you know, I have more than been there. My gut feeling here is that your son is just behaving to type. You describe him as spoilt, and liking to have his own way, so he's just having a teenage tantrum. In fact at least you know why he's stormed off. I didn't have a clue what was going on, and there was no argument or anything leading up to it. Turned out to be a case of believing the grass is always greener, and being proved wrong. FWIW, I think you did the right thing to withdraw all the privileges your son had. How is he ever going to grow up to respect, and be respected, if he cannot understand and be grateful for what is done for him? He'll end up leaving you expecting the world to revolve around him, and owe him a living, when, as we all know, the world is the complete opposite.

I did feel exactly as you felt physically. In fact it seemed to get worse the more days it continued, and the less control I felt I had. However, when he returned it wasn't into open loving arms, with me simply grateful for him coming back, it was to a frank and open conversation, without raised voices (which I don't really do), but with the understanding that the house rules were all the same, he had to slot back in again, appreciate the hurt he'd caused me, and then contend with the resentment his siblings had for him returning, and ruining their plans to have his room! He still has the same curfew, same chores, and has to respect our rules. He tries to push the boundaries daily, yesterday was a classic with him not wanting to stay home all evening to do revision (while on study leave they have to have either all day/or evening home to revise), having been out all day, because he wanted to have band practice. Not my problem, rules are rules and he still had to be be home by 6pm. He arrived, 10 minutes late maybe, but he was home all night, and he didn't have a bad attitude when he came home, because underneath it all he knows I'm only trying to do what's best for him.

Victory, the only advice I have is if your son uses social networking sites, and you can monitor his updates, it's a very useful tool to find out what he's doing. I assume he's gone to a friend's house? The advice I gained from the NSPCC is that whilst they are in compulsory education you have 100% control and say in where they live. I communicated with my son's school and they were my back-up, and helped to orchestrate him coming home again. If you know where he is staying, try to contact the parents there, and ask them to send him back home, and to try to be firm but fair with him, telling him that he has to sort his problems out back at home, not in their house hiding from you.

What has your OH had to say about all this? Was there a specific thing that triggered this reaction? Has he been asking for something in particular, or do you feel he is under a lot of peer pressure? That was the biggest thing my son was under, his so called 'friends' telling him he should just ignore me and walk out, and move in with them. Ironically, the people who agreed to take him in, have now got another 17 year old lad who's been thrown out of a hostel living with them. They go off to work and this lad just lazes around their house, invites friends round, and eats all their food, and apparently that's fine by them! As the saying goes, there's nowt so queer as folk, but dear lord the world is going to hell in a handbasket with that family!

Stay strong, and let us know how you're getting on. Just remember that your son's behaviour is not much different from a toddler tantrum. He's fully aware how his actions will worry you, but that's his way of punishing you for not getting him what he wants. Don't be bullied by his tactics, but make it clear you want him back home where he belongs. I think boys in particular look to push the boundaries to a point where they'll almost get pushed out, a bit like the juvenile male lions who have to be sent on their way. Half the problem is that they have this half-cocked view of what their rights are, and believe if they get kicked out of home they'll be given a flat somewhere, and life will be easy.... they don't know the half of it.

de1amo

i do miss the days of the good old cane and the back of your parents hand-it seems teenagers must have had different hormones in those days because no one i knew nor myself gave parents any reason to be concerned with discipline-i teach Turkish kids and have absolutely no trouble with them---must be a quaint English custom-i would never smack my 12yo step daughter but her mother has my full support to do so and ocassionally does --its not unlawful!

Brighton_belle

Thanks for your post sary. I can't offer more than 'support' to Victory, so I am grateful that someone like yourself can offer specific 'I've been there' advice and info.

Eric - I quite understand why you are totally p---ed off. Hope the dr's visit s constructive today.

Granny - with you on the time team relief:D. Ah, stuart:smileyhea

Tonight's dinner will be diced turkey stirfry. I also want to make some ice cream with yoghurt, honey & almonds so have been using my easiyo to make an additon ltr of yoghurt.
Last night we had to have fish & chips,after a much lonbger trip out that we had planned. But I found myself voluntarily taking of the batter - too greasy by half for me.

de1amo - I don't onow how you are managing on 1000 cals, but you sound like you feel full enough.Well done on getting so MI

Missy - this sounds a sensible move. As you say, you still are a size 8, you exercise plenty and you are geting a titchy bit older. So I vote for the upping your targets just that fraction. And it doesn't have to mean that you will face doing that again wiithin a year or two.

de1amo

i reckon somehow i am miscounting my calories but it seems to tally up with the counters'--i get to 1000 by throwing in almonds which are high value! before that i was down about 700 -i live abroad where there is little sweet stuff and no alcohol for me!--i do about 1000 calories of cardio a day at the gym among other work out stuff--i never feel peckish and keep happy!

i do wonder about BMİ because we all have different sized frames--my frame is large and my brother who is the same height as me is slight and i could never hope to match his minimum weight which he sticks at--he is about 9,5 stone and my bmi is right at 11stone

Eric_Pisch

well not good news, not good news at all really, but under the circumstances its about as good as it can be, will have to wait on the consultant to analyse the results...

no training for the next month or two which is going to fubar my program for the year

thanks for all the support :grouphug: