Hypno's "just for today" diary of rediscovery.

Souk08

Hypno sorry I didn't mean that you could just click your fingers and be there, just that maybe you need to think about where you want to head and what YOU as you not part of a couple iyswim want from life and then look at how you would do it.

You don't need to post it here, i just mean have a think about who you are and what you like and want, know it's hard when someone leaves but at the same time you do also now have a chance to be whoever you want to be.... XXX

Double_Trouble

Sorry that you have had a weepy day - had one myself too complete crap day.
Did wonder if you would have a reaction to going under 10K as you so often do on reaching a milestone in the past but you will pick yourself up by your bootstraps and the rest of that debt will be history. Well done :j:j:j

DTx

REDMADCURLS

There is a lot to be said for just being.......................how about just for today allow yourself to 'just be'

(I have a nerve because I cant do that, I am way to much of a control freak and need to know what is round every corner and always be working to a plan and at 42 I have yet to learn, life is not like that)

Souk08

Lol Red mad Curls, my 'plan' if you can call it that is to have as good a time as possible with the resources I have and while I have my health, because we never know when that's going.

REDMADCURLS

You have a good plan Souk!!

beanielou

Treasure your health those of you who have it.

FLC_3

Sorry that you feel down. Sometimes the best thing to do is embrace it, rather than fight it and just cry and cry until you can't any more. You will probably feel better afterwards, though you may need more than one go at it.

Perhaps 'just for today' just focus on getting through the day.

Good luck and best wishes,
FLC

macgirl

hypno06 wrote: »

Its' just not as easy as deciding what I want - I have said all of that in the past, I want a tidy house, I want to be back in my size 12 jeans, I want a holiday in the sun.........but right now I would just like to know where I am heading. Since OH left, I have felt completely lost at times, as a person. The change has to be huge, you can't just slip into the same life but on your own, and on the basis that there was obviously something *wrong* about the last few years, I shouldn't expect to want the same. Trying to always keep a brave face on it when the children are about, trying to ensure that everything remains as stable as possible so as not to create undue pressure in the middle of GCSEs, and at the same time, trying to discover who I really am, not who I have been for the last 20 years.

I know I've done well as far as the debt goes, I know that I am incredibly lucky to at least have the chance to keep a decent roof over our heads, by having a good job, etc. I know I am blessed to be healthy, and with healthy children. But I just feel so up in the air, it somehow feels like it undoes all of that, when I know, logically, that is not the case at all.

It is difficult to explain, but that'll have to do!!

Awww, hugs to you. Life is not easy is it.

This may sound ridiculous, but the first thing that struck me was I could see the answer/way to find yourself, was to become a Missionary or some kind of volunteer work.....
I know it's not possible at the minute, but maybe some sort of kibbutz, travel mixed with helping people?

I used to have a lovely boss who, when she lost her Mum, she quit her job and went to work on a co-operative house building scheme (she is tres glam - so the total opposite of what she's about). She said she still had her lips on every day, but just needed to find herself. They built community housing, didn't get paid, but did get board and lodgings. A complete change of scenery and abandonment of the trappings and "things" we think we need to make us happy and validate ourselves.

Not easy to up sticks when you are a lone parent with mucho responsibility and a high flying job - but maybe something you could keep one eye on, on the horizon? xxx

InaPickle

Hey Hypno. I'm sorry you are feeling pants, but I can understand why. However, don't forget that you have passed the very last of the big markers on your way to debt freedom - the 20 mile marker in your debt marathon. I can understand that you are tired and emotional, but you WILL finish (in a very good time, too for the amount of debt you started with!). The finish line is in sight. Dig deep and keep putting one foot in front of another. We are lining the course and cheering, and can't wait to give you your Jaffa Cake medal at the end!

macgirl

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

I was just saying to my friend on the phone that sometimes all these changes happen and yet you carry on doing the same stuff, you know logically you have to, it does after all keep food on the table bills paid etc but it doesn't actually feel like you.

xxx

That reminded me of something I read the other day Buffy (in a fitness magazine of all places)

If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.

Struck a chord with me! Night all x