Hypno's "just for today" diary of rediscovery.

InaPickle

macgirl wrote: »

That reminded me of something I read the other day Buffy (in a fitness magazine of all places)

If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.

Struck a chord with me! Night all x

How very true. It's worth pondering.

MrsMoo2U

Ok, I just popped out of lurkdom to say WELL DONE on the debt busting. (sorry if that sounded patronising but it was meant with love :A Also it is time for me to say that I am reading your diary and it is like reading the last but one chapter in the book of my life.

I can speak from experience as my husband of 16 years announced (2 weeks before my 40th birthday) that he was leaving, he signed over the house (sorry read for that the debts as we had just remortgaged to pay off massive debts - I know better now) and went on his merry way (set up home with somebody 12 years younger with two kids - we had none) whilst I was left reeling thinking that I was a terrible person, after all it must have been me and the person I was that caused him to leave. I, like you, coped by focusing on paying off debts, getting the garden sorted by getting somebody in, having the windows fixed and anything else practical that I could find (we could be twins:eek:) and each time I achieved another goal I would (privately) collapse in a heap and cry till I couldnt breathe. Throughout all of this I kept thinking What do I want to do with my life? Forcing myself to make decisions because it is what I thought I should do and was expected of me.

Well guess what? Nobody expects you to do anything except yourself. I realised that I was putting pressure on myself because by trying to "focus" on something I thought that was a sign of strength. When I realised this I let up on myself and just started to enjoy little things within each day. I stopped thinking that I had to be superwoman and I did infact become a nicer person to be around. (my friends say that it was like watching a butterfly emerge)

So I guess what I am saying is exactly what you say yourself. Take each day as it comes and dont "plan" or force yourself to make any decisions about your self (yes the finances etc) and then when the time is right to change something it wil be natural and you will just deal with it without all the stress.
I am now 4 years down the line. I wont pretend that it was easy because it is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with, now though I look back over that time and I know that I can deal with anything that life throws at me because of what I went through.

Oh and by the way, I am now very happy, living the life of my childhood dreams by the sea and would you believe with my soulmate who was my best friend when we were teenagers. (I am of course ommitting the part about him just being made redundant and me getting back onto the debt merrygoround with a different carousel horse)

Life will get better in its own time and its own way. In the meantime - hugs and jaffa cakes all around

hypno06

Cherisong - thank you x

Will give myself a good talking to and get my act together.

Have a good day everyone x

macgirl

Great post Cherisong :A Glad it all worked out x

Morning Hypno, hope the Sun is shining this morning for you, take care x

Pippajo

So many good words, yet again.

I don't even think you need to give yourself a talking to, how did you feel when you got to the 21/22 mile barrier in the marathon. So many give up there as its too much to carry on. Did you hear the cheers, keep putting one foot in front of the other and think of the finish line?

Don't beat yourself up and just for today forget everything but the simple things in life. x

Seaxwyn

Congrats on being sub-10k, that is a huge achievement. I am sorry to read that you are feeling down. You've had some excellent advice and thoughts on here, from cherisong and others. It is very understandable that you feel lost and upset. You now have the opportunity to work out exactly what you want from life - and that is very daunting and scary! I hope you can enjoy the sunshine today and will feel your positive self soon.

Verbatim

No words of wisdom from me, but I'm excited by the prospect of my train journey and 2 days in Norwich with my friend. And it's going to be a glorious day. Wayhay!!

Enjoy the sunshine while we have it everyone.

Vxx

beanielou

Thank you cherisong.
That made me cry.

REDMADCURLS

Hypno

Not so sure you need to give yourself a good talking too - more a good break!

To me, your act has always been together!

Sunny Day and its Thursday - we are nearly done!

Karmacat

beanielou wrote: »

Thank you cherisong.
That made me cry.

I wasn't crying, but it was really lovely, cherisong.

REDMADCURLS wrote: »

Hypno

Not so sure you need to give yourself a good talking too - more a good break!

To me, your act has always been together!

Absolutely. I think a bacon roll is called for, personally.

I hope the sun is shining for you, Hypno.