Hypno's "just for today" diary of rediscovery.

hypno06

Verbatim, enjoy your trip to Naarwich......the sun is shining here so you will have a fab time.

I will keep my eyes open for a mad woman waving randomly......:)

The sun is shining, but my own black cloud is lingering. I am on a one woman mission to stop any potential hosepipe ban through the amount of tears I have been shedding. But, as I know, it will pass and things will sort themselves out.

One of the things I have been thinking of is where I go from here, housewise....two jumped out at me as being potential but both would need me to be debt free first:

Favoured location but no parking

Ski club village same school catchment, so no probs re kids and their friends, same village as ski club,

Both would be perfectly easy to walk to work in about 20-30 mins.

So, I do think that has to be my focus - within the next couple of years getting ready to move, but at the same time, being comfortable in the house we are in as the next two years will involve GCSEs for DS, and AS and A levels for DD, so two very important years all round.

Souk08

Morning hypno, go easy on yourself. You are fab and have inspired so many despite difficult circumstances XXX

Bunnyinthelights

((hugs everyone))

x

Pippajo

I really like both of those, but no parking could be a problem with teenagers coming up to driving age, and also loading up on ski days.

I guess it comes down to how much you have to pay off the current house to get the mortgage on the other one. Round here the 2nd house would probably only be a bit over £200k. Shame you cant move the ski club somewhere a bit cheaper :rotfl:.

My neice is in Stoke Holy Cross, and the original plan was to buy a 2 bed, then go to a 3 bed after a few years, but its such a prime edge of Norwich area, prices are steep and they don't come up very often.

Karmacat

I love that second one, Hypno - although I'm moving to another semi, my dream is of a detached property still, this is not my "forever house". And the first one, without a floorplan, can't tell as much about it - and the layout on that 2nd one that I like looks very efficient. Both my houses have had incredibly inefficient layouts, huge areas of space wasted in hallways and whatnot - it makes a lovely impression as you walk in, but not much else.

Hope you're doing a bit better in terms of being able to be at work - as for the rest of it, that existential layer I'd call it - its gradual, and neverending, and hits us in different ways at different times of our life. Take it slow, please - I'm not a Christian, but "this too will pass" has merit :grouphug:

angelaf_3

You have everyright to feel as you do. Most people would still be eating ice cream and moaning to there friends about how badly they have been treated and crawling back to bed (I'm sure I would be) and look where you are. I'm sure it's a mixture of exhaustion, gladness, momentousness and the sense of a passing of an era for want of a better word, plus a sense of lonliness because no-one else can know exactly how you feel. Obviously you are glad to have got rid of the debt but it must also be like a bereavement because something that has been your focus for so long as now gone but you also know and have the fear and challenge of doing it all over again. This time knowing (even thought it gets easier each time in a sense and you have the encouragement of knowing that it's possible) how hard it can be.

I'm diabetic and almost a stone heavier than I'd like to be so I'm really trying to stay of the choc and biscuits but it is so so hard at the moment. My fear of time running out is trying to take over my doing anything useful in revision so really need to get a grip and conquer that in the next half hour.

Big hugs. Off for another coffee then Rousseau et al.

elantan

hypno06 wrote: »

Thanks guys - although true to form the "next milestone blues" have kicked in and I have spent most of the morning avoiding people because I can't stop crying.

Keep telling myself not to be stupid, think of taxi and all she is going through and that my concerns are nothing in comparison, etc etc, but why is it that this wave of crapness keeps washing over me like this. I hate it, yet can't seem to snap out of it, or brush it away.

Still, it will pass in a couple of days and all will be well.

In other news, I was pleased that I lost another half lb at WW, taking me to 10st 1.5lbs. Another area of my life where I really need to maintain the focus - I certainly don't want to undo all that hard work at this stage.

Hope you are all having a good day x

ok i am gonna kinda go against the grain here ... i do think its rotten you feel this way i really do and i wish you didnt ... but

every time you are feeling this way you are getting more used to those feelings (i know they arnt nice ones) now at least with this you will be prepared for when you get to zero ... it wont hit you on the head as hard and you wont fall back into debt ... you are now aware of what it is you are feeling and you can deal with it effectively ...

you dont want to find yourself debt free and thinking oh my that was xxx amount of hard slog now i dont know what to do with myself ... and suddenly get really down ... you dont want to find yourself at zero debt and think you have hit a brick wall ... so try and find a way to deal with it effectively just now when you do get it so that when you are free you can just immerse yourself in the enjoyment ... turn this carp into your advantage ... i know if anyone can its you

am trying to make this a bit more positive sorry if it isnt working

MrsMoo2U

I am sorry I didnt mean to make anybody cry. Hypno I know that today you still feel a bit weepy but I hope that the sun shine will help a little. I love the look of both of those houses. I hadnt driven for years when I was left on my own so I set a goal of buying myself a car. Having something to focus on (other than debts) that was just for me was great. Elantan gives some fantastic advice, my post was more about dealing with the feelings of being left alone to deal with stuff rather than the lows of hitting a new goal but I found that when I focused on the fact that I could make a decision about something as big as buying a car without having to defer to somebody else I actually started to find it exciting. Perhaps Elantans advice could be turned into focusing on that dream house so that each time you hit a milestone you can see yourself one step closer to a house that YOU chose, YOU can furnish to your own likings and YOU can decide where it is. (ok the kids will be involved to some extent). Think of how much fun that will be!
As for me I just found a house that I would love but it needs lots of work and is alread £245K so I am now off to work(via the post office with my ebay parcels) after filling in surveys, doing some clicking, moving my quidco money over and signing up for mystery shopping. All inspired by reading your diary as a constant lurker. Thank you for inspiring me so much.

Pooky

I love the first house - typically round this way anything of that size in that good condition would be over £350k.

oceanspirit

Congratulations on the Sub £10k - that's a huge achievement in a very short space of time.

I would say a big YES to booking a Christmas holiday. You have worked very hard for a very long time so I think a holiday together with the children at the end of a very difficult year is very much a good thing to do for all 3 of you. It is also useful to have something to look forward to amongst all the stuff that has to be done - and it won't be long before they're heading off to uni/college and you'll be wondering where the time went.

Take some time out to enjoy each other's company - life is for living today as well as planning for the future!

Brilliant news on the continuing weight loss too. You're living proof that anything can be achieved one step at a time.