Controlled Crying

cookiesncream

I think it depends entirely on the Nanny and the family. For some families they have a maternity nurse that will put the baby into a routine first and then we take over. Sometimes they use cc and some don't. I'm an advocate for when it's right. I wouldn't train all babies on it though. I'm a firm believer in strong routines and will always use those but not every child needs cc.

(I haven't just thanked everyone pro, it might just seem like it. I've thanked people who I strongly agree with, whatever their views on cc.)

giggs11

cookiesncream wrote:

Can you actually provide evidence for this statement?

i wouldn't know where to find it on the net but there must be plenty of info if you search google or something cos i have a very close relative who works high up in mental health at the priory and have heard all sorts over the years and its been proved that babies and young kids that don't receive enough attention and are left to cry for long periods often grow up to have mental health and personality disourder problems. i don't know all the technical terms for these things, goes in one ear and out the other sometimes, but i am very aware of it.

cookiesncream

So have you actually met them like you said in your post? After all, this was meant to be a discussion with people who have experienced it and who have chosen against it for any reason. I don't think rash statements are providing any helpful input whatsoever. There isn't enough evidence for anyone to know either way the medical world is split by it. As I said before, there are always at least two studies against themselves.

starlite_2

I don't think any mother would, as you say 'leave their child crying for hours' , it's a different matter though, to know when your baby is perfectly fine crying for a while and will settle themselves without the need to jump up at their every whimper, which surely creates a more needy clingy child?

Crispy_Ambulance

cookiesncream wrote:

So have you actually met them like you said in your post? After all, this was meant to be a discussion with people who have experienced it and who have chosen against it for any reason. I don't think rash statements are providing any helpful input whatsoever. There isn't enough evidence for anyone to know either way the medical world is split by it. As I said before, there are always at least two studies against themselves.

I don't believe the medical world is split by it at all. I would like to see Gina Ford provide some medical evidence for the value of her methods of subduing children. As far as I am aware, she doesn't actually have any children of her own.

There are some studies, however, on the effects on children of being made to sleep away from their parents.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2087-2179265_1,00.html

cookiesncream

Crispy_Ambulance wrote:

I would like to see Gina Ford provide some medical evidence for the value of her methods of subduing children. As far as I am aware, she doesn't actually have any children of her own.

You're right, she hasn't. She's a maternity nurse and has been for 20 years. CC is not about Gina Ford, to stop everyone jumping down her throat, she just supports and practises the Ferber Method (CC).

Crispy_Ambulance

starlite wrote:

I don't think any mother would, as you say 'leave their child crying for hours' , it's a different matter though, to know when your baby is perfectly fine crying for a while and will settle themselves without the need to jump up at their every whimper, which surely creates a more needy clingy child?

I've quoted your post Starlite, but the points I am making are general.

I agree that sometimes children cry a bit and then settle. However, I do get very concerned at our modern obsession with not making our children clingy.

Small children are clingy - they are supposed to be. And yes, it is draining sometimes to always have to go to the toilet with a toddler sat on your knee, but this period of their lives is so brief - before you know it, you will be bribing them to give you a kiss at the school gate. I do wonder why we are so fearful of supposedly creating bad habits that we push our babies away from us.

Other cultures carry their babies all the time, sleep with them and breastfeed on demand for as long as the child needs to. These babies rarely cry because they don't have to. And as far as I am aware, there is no major problem with these children when they reach adolescence.

Maybe some parents would be happier and less stressed if they would just accept that small babies need to be held, to be close to their mothers etc and that children will sleep through the night when they are ready. Once you stop trying to find the magic routine and just adapt to the needs of your child - at this time - life becomes less stressful.

giggs11

cookiesncream wrote:

So have you actually met them like you said in your post? After all, this was meant to be a discussion with people who have experienced it and who have chosen against it for any reason. I don't think rash statements are providing any helpful input whatsoever. There isn't enough evidence for anyone to know either way the medical world is split by it. As I said before, there are always at least two studies against themselves.

i can't go any further into it for confidentiality reasons but yes i have met people who fit the criteria i described above. on the otherhand i'm not advocating that mums should rush to pick up their babes at every whimper and cry cos even from a very young age learned behaviour comes into play, but its about making your baby/child aware that you are there if they call out/cry even if its just a soothing hand on their back until they settle again.

the problem these days is that so many families need both parents to be working even when their littel uns are still babies (and thats not a criticism of working mothers, it's a fact unfortunately) so poor mum doesn't get the time needed to spend with babs that maybe her grandmother or even mother had cos she needs to sleep/rest to be able to function to work and bring up her family. and i specifically said mums as child rearing falls primarily o the womans shoulders despite all these "new age men" that claim to take their share of the burden, but in my experience they are few and fare between

Dora_the_Explorer_5

Babies are entitled to love, patience and respect. Their only means of communication is crying, and surely refusing to attend to a crying baby is a refusal to communicate with it?

cookiesncream

I don't expect you to go into details. I just wanted confirmation that you've actually met them. I suspect that they may have personality problems where it's been an extreme case of neglet (abuse) not just the CC that we're talking about. I may be wrong but we need to put this into perspective as I think there are opinions formed without knowing the full CC method.